


Hunt and Seek

by Rozene_Nobody



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Drama, Female Reader, Flirting, Fluff, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert, Sexual Tension, follows the anime sort of, its hisoka he's the sexual tension, phantom troupe is her messed up fam, the phantom troupe is messed up man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 46,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25224064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozene_Nobody/pseuds/Rozene_Nobody
Summary: [Hunter x Hunter x Mother!Reader](Name) is the mother of Gon. Nobody knows this for she is believed to be dead. (Name) thought she had lost everything until the Hunter Exam. Now she has to go on the quest and search for her beloved while running from her past and hiding the secret that she is Gon’s mother.
Relationships: Ging Freecs/Reader, Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader, Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Reader
Comments: 53
Kudos: 371





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **This story was originally published on July 1, 2017 on my quotev but is currently being re-written. It can be found[Here!](https://www.quotev.com/story/12891287/Hunt-and-Seek) **
> 
> And should absolutely not be anywhere else.
> 
> *Reader is in her late twenties!

Reader's POV

Entering the large underground room, I glance around and feel chills from people already sizing me up. The slight chillness to the air is mostly from the people who are trying to see if I am going to be a challenge or not. I try to ignore it but one thing stays on my mind. There are going to be a lot of dropouts this year. I will not be one for I promised myself that I will win in order to find _him_.

I am prepared. I’m wearing this army like pants that have my knives with Nen in them and I am wearing a shirt with a tank top underneath. Light and simple. Nodding to myself I am finally greeted by a green bean human-like thing that greets the applicants.

“Here’s your number. Please always leave it on your chest,” He says handing me a small tag with the number 40 on it.

I nod and put the tag on my chest as I enter the room further. The stares that linger on me are strong and a bit too hopeful that they can take me out. They will have no chance at that. I can crush everyone here in an instant. The training I had put myself through these past few years will aid me in that. Though some of the stares on me are a bit murderous it makes me doubt my ability to kill anyone. I have not killed anyone in years. To be exact, I have been in solitude for twelve years. Ever since I gave birth to my only child and was forced to give him up.

I have never gone back home or chased the man of my dreams. No. Instead, I remained all by myself not talking to anyone for years on a very isolated island. That was until I finally found the courage to go out and find him. Ging. The father of my child. I will find him and repeat the words I never said back to him. I love you.

I let out a soft sigh as my thoughts are interrupted when I hear a certain number. “You are number 44. Please always keep this on your chest,” Beans says.

I can feel a dangerous aura and I turn around to stare at the new contestant. It is an attractive man. He has red hair, gelled up, and looks like a magician. I keep staring at him and we eventually make eye contact. I do not like the emotions stirring around in his eyes as he smirks at me.

I stop staring and turn to go be a loner by the pipes. Soon enough, some other guy comes up to me. He is number sixteen. I let out an irritated sigh as he pretends to be friendly. “Hello there. You are pretty. You must be new. I have not seen you around before. I am Tonpa. I will give you a few hints if you like. There are a lot of terrifying guys down here already,” Tonpa says trying to be flattering.

His scent stinks. He gives off a malicious scent, so I obviously do not trust his friendly façade. I do not say a word making him sweat a little from my own dangerous aura. He hesitantly hands me a drink. “Here, you must be pretty thirsty. It is hot down here after all. It’s on me,” He states.

I play along already understanding this guy is a sick man that will try to take rookies down. I take it and open it. I can already smell the poison in there. It is a laxative. I keep staring him down, a smirk playing on my lips as I drink the whole can of juice in one take.

He looks happy but surprised. I can feel others watching this scene and I know that I will terrify them too. I toss the can to the ground and crush it with my shoe before I glare up at the man. “Nice try old man. I am immune to shit like this. Don’t come near me when the even starts or I will kill you,” I shoot him my famous glare that makes him freeze.

He cannot say a word and I know a few other people are scared as well. I nod with satisfaction and leave to a different spot near the entrance since everyone is starting to crowd in the back to glare at the new contestants. I do not get the peace and quiet I so yearned for. The magician guy I made eye contact with earlier comes my way.

He does not even bother to say anything until he is in my personal space. I can feel his breath fan against my skin and his lips meet my ear. “You know the rumors I heard of you from the Spider do not even begin to do you justice. Your presence is more delicious,” He whispers into my ear.

My eyes widen and my aura grows so deadly it makes his eyes widen and he backs up. He readjusts himself and smirks at me for bringing attention to us before leaving. I ignore anyone who is staring my way as I keep my eyes strained on the clown not trusting that man at all. How in fucking hell does he know who I am just based on my presence?

It nerves me greatly and it becomes all I think about as I wait for time to go by faster.

An hour or so passes and finally, we reach the four hundreds with the new contestants. It did get more packed in here. I hate it. I have been on edge the whole time from the magician, Hisoka. I learned his name by eavesdropping. Apparently, last year he was disqualified by the committee for turning on an examiner.

I am interrupted by my thoughts again when an interesting trio comes in. My eyes are on them but something weird happens. I can’t control my heartbeat. It is unnaturally fast as I examine the faces. The first one I see is a tall man who has the number 403. He seems silly and he has a briefcase. A doctor maybe, or a businessman? The next one is a blonde-haired boy who looks gentle but serious and has the number 404.

The last boy stops my heart. He looks just like Ging. A literal mini him. I think my heart stops as I see the happy boy with the number 405. Tears reach my eyes, but I simply blink them back. There is no doubt that is my son. My child.

I want to quickly make my way over there and introduce myself but I just can’t. The urge to do so is strong, but what would I even say? What would I do? It is too overwhelming and it would be too weird to just introduce myself. Those are my thoughts until I realize that a good amount of people are glaring at them with intentions full of malice from how pure and naïve the trio looks.

Something odd happens and before I can stop myself, I head over there. My heart feels like it’s not beating from how fast it is. I must be numb from feeling the emotion excitement for the first time in a long time. I hesitate but immediately raise my hand to get their attention when I am close enough.

“Hello, sorry to bother you but you all look like gawking fish. My name is (Name), a fellow contestant,” I greet.

They all look at my funny for being the first person who hasn’t glared at them. When they realize that I have good intentions they smile. “I am Kurapika,” The blonde states smiling.

Leoreo smirks and blushes as he introduces himself, “Cute girl, I am Leoreo. Your future doctor.”

I then look at my flesh and blood and feel a certain pride and love as he smiles at me. “Hello (Name)! I am Gon!”


	2. Observing Gon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phase 1 and 2 is complete!

Being able to observe Gon is like a dream come true. It is everything I have ever wanted. It hurts to not be able to come out right and say who I am, but it will be worth it if he never finds out. I would not be able to handle the rejection just when I had found him.

Of course, my heart broke when I heard that he wants to be a hunter just like his dad so he can hunt Ging and find out why he decided to be a hunter over being with him. It broke my heart, but he still loves his dad very much.

I, on the other hand, am livid with Ging. Gon and I have the same goal, but my wish was to find Gon with his father. I cannot jump to any conclusions quite yet or be mad at him when I find him. It would not be fair. I let out a sigh as I wait patiently, keeping my eye on two people now. I watch Hisoka and a kid with the number 99. The kid seems to be on edge since he knows I am watching him. I am not hiding it either.

In the meantime, as we wait for the Hunter Exam to hit the road, I have made some small talk with Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio and they seem to enjoy my company as much as I am living for theirs. Looks like I do not have to be completely cold-hearted here after all. Especially with my baby here.

The white-haired kid I have been staring down seems to have enough of my staring and appears behind me when the others move closer to the crowd. He glares up at me and I smile at him. “What?” He asks coldly.

I certainly did set him off. “Nothing. I’m just wondering why an assassin like you is all by yourself here. You look like you’re too young to do certain jobs but I may be wrong,” I explain softly being gentle.

He frowns and keeps staring at me with a deadly look in his eyes and I quickly give him a reassuring smile. My voice remains gentle as I say, “Please do not be cautious of me. I am just acting like an over-protective mom. I’m sorry if I upset you.”

He mutters whatever and leaves. That is when we all hear a bell-like sound and a wall goes up revealing an examiner. “Sorry for the wait. The time for accepting new applicants is now closed. The Hunter Examination will begin in a moment, follow me, and stay close. Don’t get lost or left behind,” A purple-haired man states.

I would trust this man with my life all because of his purple mustache. He introduces himself as the examiner, Satotz. I let out a soft sigh as he starts to walk. This must be an endurance test. You can tell from how long the tunnel is. There is no light at the end of the tunnel so it’s a long ass tunnel.

I prepare myself and catch sight of Gon. I stay a bit behind him to make sure nobody tries any funny business. I am a hundred percent sure he is capable of protecting himself, but I cannot help my mother instincts that appear to be stronger than ever right now.

~*~

It’s been four fucking hours. Within these four fucking hours I have been hit on multiple times. My eye twitches yet again as someone slows down their pace to talk to me. Gon is still in front of me so my nerves are relaxed, and he even made a new friend, the assassin kid I was watching, Killua. Kurapika and Leorio are a bit behind us.

I am heavily annoyed though. Before the guy who slowed down can even open his mouth I frown. “Do not even dare try to talk to me. Say a single word and I promise you won’t be able to walk,” I spit out catching a few people’s attention.

The guy sweats at this but ignores the warning. “Jeez Babe. I’m sorry I was just trying to-“

In one swift move, I simply move my arm. The guy falls holding his leg in pain. I just cut his leg using one of my Nen knives. He won’t be able to walk for at least a few days. Just as fast as the knife came out it went back in my army pants.

Kurapika hesitantly speaks up seeing as he caught up to me, “Are you alright?”

Gon and Killua slowed down to hear the conversation as well. I nod and reply, “Yes I am fine. It’s annoying being hit on all the time.”

“Hm? You should be used to it though seeing how young you are,” Leorio states.

Before I can hit him with his stupid comment, Killua speaks up with his mistrust of me. “(Name)… why have you been watching Gon and I this whole time?”

Gon looks confused and looks back at me as we keep running. I give a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that. I told you earlier that my mother instincts get out of hand. You see I have a child around your age but I haven’t seen them in a while. So, I’m just doing what any mother would do and am looking out for you two even though you are both capable of looking out for yourselves.”

Killua looks genuinely surprised and Gon says, “Thanks (Name)!”

I nod and I hear Leorio freak out. “W-Wait! That doesn’t make sense! How old are you?! You have a child?! You’re too young!”

Kurapika laughs as I answer, “I’m in my late twenties.”

“WHAAT?!?! YOU LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER!!” Leorio shouts.

This fact seems to shock them a little but they move on with their lives. Eventually, Killua and Gon decide to race as soon as we reach the stairs and when Satotz goes even faster. “Hey (Name)! Join us! You seem strong!” Gon says happily.

Even Killua seems to like this idea so I happily do join them. We increase our speed. I let the kids have their fun and just observe them as I pretend to be in their race. They are so full of energy. It is amazing.

By the time I sense this tunnel is ending, I can see a light at the top and they go even faster. I stay right behind them. However, right as we see the outside, they scream with excitement and even beat Satotz leaving me behind.

I laugh when I reach the top stair and they get in a fight on who won. “(Name)!! Who won the race?!” Gon asks.

Satotz answers for me, “I believe that you crossed the line simultaneously

I laugh as more people arrive. I stick close to Gon and Killua. Eventually, Satotz decides that we waited long enough and the door slides down leaving behind someone who finally made it to the top. I honestly feel bad for him but oh well.

I do not really pay attention to Satotz as he explains that we are continuing to run but in a dangerous area, the Numere Wetlands or otherwise known as Swindler’s swamp. It sounds mysterious but I dealt with worse than most people so I can handle it. Satotz makes sure to clarify that we need to stick by him or otherwise we will never make it to the second phase site.

As we start running it doesn’t take long for me to sense danger. Killua senses it too and I’m lucky he likes Gon because he suggests they move up clearly stating that being around Hisoka is dangerous. I can feel it too. As they move up, I stick close behind the people who are planning to ambush Hisoka. I would like to see his fighting skill so I know what I am up against.

After all, I feel like he targeted me from the beginning. I stick close to them and they stop at this little meadow that is of course still surrounded by fog. I stay way behind them and out of sight as I watch it. I can hear Hisoka speak clearly and his voice sends shivers down my spine, “Why don’t I play the examiner and judge whether you are Hunter material?”

The idiots who wanted to ambush him get offended and charge him all at once. Of course, they end up dead within the first few seconds. One survivor crawls his way towards my hiding spot and I hold in a groan. Once he’s dead Hisoka looks behind him.

I can sense Leorio and Kurapika. I get up rather fast and don’t hide my presence. Once my presence is revealed I can see Hisoka shiver before turning to smile in my direction. I walk towards him slowly praying that the other two will leave. I don’t want them to get harmed by him.

“Run you guys! I can handle this!” I yell.

Using my distraction, Kurapika luckily is able to convince Leorio to run away.

Hisoka smiles fully at me. “Oh? You wish to fight me?”

I nod and he hums. “I don’t think I can listen to that request…”

Just as I grab my knife, Hisoka’s eyes widen. He can sense my aura and how powerful it is, how I am. I can’t tell how he feels about this. Before I can make my move that can surely put an end to him, a ball hits him. It’s not just a ball though. It’s part of a fishing pole. Gon’s fishing pole.

My eyes widen. I did not even notice him. Hisoka takes this opportunity to fully ignore me and quickly play with my son. It’s only seconds before he manages to have Gon in a tight hold around his neck. I am pissed. I don’t even get the chance to say or do anything before the man disappears, leaving Gon on the ground.

I quickly go to him and help him up. I’m seething with anger and Gon can feel it. He speaks fast to calm my anger, “I am okay (Name).”

His voice calms me down. Kurapika and Leorio quickly rejoin us. I zone out trying my best to control my emotions. I can feel the anger bubbling within me as I desperately want to know how Hisoka knows who I am but why he will not dare to fight me. Once my head is clear, I take notice that we are running towards the Phase Two site.

We make it there with minutes to spare. I feel relief realizing we made it on time. I quickly separate myself from the group not trusting myself at the moment. I move closer to the gates where Satotz is and he speaks loud and clear, “Phase Two of the exam will occur here, in the Biska Forest Park. So, I shall take my leave. Best luck to all of you.”

He walks away with that weird walk of his. The gates slowly open to reveal tables and two examiners this time. “Welcome, I am Menchi the Second Phase Examiner and this is Buhara,” Menchi states.

She quickly reveals that they are Gourmet hunters and this stage is cooking. The required ingredient is pork and that they both must find it delicious. It will end when they have eaten their fill. A whole bunch of participants are complaining about how cooking should not be part of the examination.

I ignore their rude comments and plan what I should cook and how to present it. When we are dismissed I hang out with Gon’s group but stay a little behind still lost in my thoughts. Kurapika seems to notice that I am not happy and he slows down for me.

“Are you all right (Name)? You seem upset since the Hisoka incident,” He whispers.

I nod. “I’m fine. I just need time to cool down. I should be fine after this phase.”

He nods and soon enough we are back with Gon who finds the largest Carnivore pigs in the forest and he ends up finding their weak spot; the forehead. I’m still at a loss at how amazing my son is. When I am able to capture one of the large pigs, I haul it back to an empty table.

I frown at what to do. I think about my past experiences with cooking which makes me dwell in the past but it gives me an idea. I push my thoughts aside and focus on the task at hand. It’s meat but that doesn’t make it good by itself.

I look around to see a few spices presented on the table along with more kitchenware and some fruit in the drawers. Most of these contestants do not even know how to cook so this is where I am most likely to be lucky.

I smile as I cut some of the pig and get a little bit of a tender part. I use a pan to grill it on the oven and simply cut some pineapple open and squeeze some of the juice in the pan. Once I am sure the meat is all the way cooked, I take it off the pan and put it on a plate, placing more pineapple by the side of it to make it look presentable.

I then add the last factor, brown sugar to top it off. This should at least be the best out of all the men who just burned the poor dead pig to charred. I can tell Menchi is seriously annoyed by all the contestants so far. So, when I bring the large plate to her she seems surprised. Buhara eats his part happily like he is done with the others and Menchi takes one bite and her eyes go wide.

“This is actually good,” She states.

She is pleased and tells me I pass. However, that doesn’t matter when she states everyone else fails the exam. I let out a sigh as I prepare myself when I feel Hisoka’s deadly aura. That all stops with the Chairman Netero arrives.

They speak of redoing the phase and I quickly raise my hand like a child gathering their attention. “Do I have to participate in the do-over since I passed this phase fair and square?” I ask.

Menchi laughs and looks at the Chairman. “She did do her best for this, so I think she’s good.”

“Sure then. She can wait on the airship until the do-over is done,” Netero states.

I am pleased with myself for once. I am the only one who passed the second phase with Menchi’s approval.

As I go to wait on the airship, the thoughts of the past return and stir in my head.


	3. Beloved Toy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka shares what he knows of her and they sort of bond.

When the others are done with Phase 2, Netero says we are allowed to rest up and make ourselves at home until we go to the Phase Three site which will be at eight in the morning. I already picked my room and used Nen on it so nobody can take it while I hang out with Gon and Killua.

There are only forty-three of us applicants here. The rest either failed or failed and died. Gon, Killua, and I snuck food out of the kitchen before we are kicked out and after our little dinner break, I grow quiet and observe the dynamic between the two kids. They already like each other well enough that I can trust Killua with Gon.

“Hey, Killua, where are your parents?” Gon asks which piques my interest.

I look at the boy and he looks at both of us before deciding to answer, “They’re alive.”

“What do they do?” I ask softly already knowing their career choice.

“They’re assassins,” He replies without hesitation.

Gon looks curious. “Both of them?”

“You’re the first person to take me seriously,” Killua laughs totally ignoring me but whatever.

I frown. “Well, it does make sense.”

“How?” He asks now looking at me confused.

I smile and get up, deciding it is best if I do not say anything more. “I should go to bed. I’ll see you boys tomorrow. Have fun.”

I pat their heads to which they let me and they bid me goodnight. I do not want to ruin what they have going. They are good friends already and they do not know me too well. It is best if it stays that way. I feel sad about it but that is what being a parent is about, right? Sacrifice. I can watch him from afar, get to know him, but he should not get to know me until I know it will be all okay.

I let out a soft sigh as I head to the room I picked out. When I get there I frown upon feeling Hisoka’s aura in the hall where my bedroom lies. I frown. He’s simply leaning against the wall playing with his cards.

“That’s some strong Nen you used on the door,” He states softly.

I scowl. “Yes. It is to keep weird intruders out… Why did you refuse to fight me earlier?”

“I know you will win,” He states completely serious and with a scowl on his face as well.

He seems pissed about that fact. I nod though. I would’ve won. “I know who you are. Doesn’t that bother you?” He asks smirking now.

I sigh. “Hisoka, nothing will bother me until tomorrow. I need sleep and if I don’t get sleep soon I will slaughter you.”

He chuckles. “Okay, calm down. I’ll leave you be for now. However, I guarantee we will finish this conversation soon.”

“Whatever. Goodnight Hisoka.”

I enter my room the Nen opening for me before resealing itself so no one can get in. I do not look forward to finishing that conversation.

~*~

We are dropped off in the middle of nowhere on this fucking tower and have 72 hours to get down. I am already in a bad mood from Hisoka’s words last night now that I had time to process them. He has links to the Spider and now that I was able to think about it, it is all bad news to me. I sigh as I look at Gon and the others. They are already taking this seriously.

I tell them, “I’ll split off from you guys and tell you when I find something.”

They smile at me and nod. We are determined now. I know we can’t get down from just simply climbing down. It takes a few minutes but I notice a few people are gone. Like disappear gone. I frown and step to where someone was before I the ground caves in.

Before I can step off, I fall. I didn’t even get the chance to get away from the spot. It was a trap door. I land swiftly on my feet and look around only to see a smirking Hisoka…

“How the hell did I get stuck with you,” I mutter.

He chuckles and replies, “Fate seems to like me. Seems like we are partners. The door opened as soon as you came in. Let’s go.”

I nod as I follow him. He walks slow seeming to take his time and that is when I realized he is going to go back to the conversation. “The supposed heart of the Spider… She died I believe fourteen years ago though the head likes to say he no longer has a heart,” He states calmly now stopping.

I frown and look around to make sure there aren’t any cameras. He notices my behavior and states, “I don’t sense any cameras. I believe we are free to talk on this route but I want to get it over with now.”

“Alright. Yes, the heart died fourteen years ago. Doesn’t matter since the head said the spider will survive without him and the heart,” I murmur.

“Yet, she is right here before my very own eyes,” He leans against the wall and stares me down.

I frown. “No. I am no longer her. I left the Phantom Troupe when I faked my death.”

Hisoka is amused by this. “Nobody leaves the Phantom Troupe and you know this,” He states taunting me.

Then he looks at me like he is taking a significant risk. He says, “You know. I am probably the only one to see this. Which is lucky for you I suppose. I can barely, and I mean barely see the resemblance between you and Gon. Just barely but it’s there. Not in appearance oh no. It’s there in personality with friends. I can sense that. The potential power I felt earlier with him? He got that from you. The stories I heard of you protecting your fellow Troupe members…”

I gulp slightly for the first time terrified and he knows why. He is trying to instill fear into me, and it is working. “How do you think Chrollo would react to this information?”

My heart pounds at the name. At the thought of him. Oh god if he knew. Sensing my fear, he lets out a sigh. He admits, “I won’t tell him. Only because I don’t want you dead. You see, one of my new goals since I saw you is to surpass you which means to eventually kill you one day.”

If Chrollo ever found out about my child? I would be dead. I nod but frown. I do not trust him regardless. I decide to make a demand. “Promise me. If you break your promise I’ll kill you. Repeatedly. I’ll make sure your body will be scattered all over the world. So, promise me.”

“Intriguing. Okay. I promise-“

I stand right in front of him. Staring up with serious eyes. “That’s not good enough. Kiss me,” I state.

Hisoka’s eyes widen before he smirks upon seeing the light of my Nen on my lips. He asks, “Are you a Manipulator?”

“Say you promise again and then kiss me,” I demand not answering him.

I am indeed a Manipulator and he knows it. He is confident when he speaks, “I promise that I won’t tell Chrollo anything about you and your relationship with Gon. I also promise that I won’t tell any of the other Phantom Troupe members.”

With that said. He does something I did not expect. He turns me around fast and slams me against the wall, his lips on mine in a moment. I can feel the Nen burning my lips which means the contract is sealed. It must’ve hurt him but he doesn’t stop. No, what takes me by shock is he forces his tongue into my mouth and explores my cavern.

When I am panting for air he pulls back and simply licks his lips, separating the string of saliva between us. “Did that suffice?” He smirks.

I glare at the man. “I said kiss. Not make out.”

“Does it matter? The promise is made,” He muses.

Hisoka then jerks his head back to the route and I can still sense his arousal. He knows he’s pushing my buttons. I follow behind him, both of us now ready to get out of here. He still makes chit chat as we go through our path.

“So, the promise… Do I assume if I break it, I’ll die or something?” He asks with a spiteful tone.

I chuckle getting sick of his tone but answer anyway, “No. The Nen from the kiss is on your lips and it’ll stay that way until you break your promise. As soon as you do, the Nen will break and I will know and will hunt you.”

“Is it like a tracker?” He asks now interested.

I smile. “You can say that. It’s one of my special Manipulator abilities I have I guess.”

With that said, he finally allows silence to befall us. We get through most of the rooms and trials without fault. It was pretty simple and I hate to admit it but Hisoka and I make a surprisingly good team. We worked together quietly for the most part and it honestly felt like we were talking to each other the whole time with our silence.

However, when we enter a new room there is someone else in it. I frown upon seeing them as Hisoka looks at them with a bored expression. It is a prisoner. He removes his hood seeing as he has no cuffs on and he says with a smirk, “Hisoka and (Name). I didn’t think you’d be with someone else Hisoka. You see Togari is a dear friend of mine and I wish to avenge him.”

The prisoner then reveals his Nen to us but what doesn’t add up to me is how much he’s using so fast. I look around to see that there are still no cameras but there is indeed something wrong. I quickly use my Gyo, focusing my Nen to my eyes and do see something that he was trying to hide and he did a pretty good job with it.

I am late because I feel a piercing pain go through the side of my stomach. I let out a gasp as the pain continues to grow. I fall to the ground holding my wound with one hand as I dig around for one of my knives. I let my guard down so my Nen won’t be strong as usual.

I quickly start cutting away at the prisoner’s Nen. Once I successfully do that, Hisoka is able to defeat him, as he was distracted by my shriek of pain. The prisoner falls to the ground with a card in his head and Hisoka comes to my side.

He seems confused. “What happened?”

“That guy was a strong Nen user, a Conjurer. He used all the Nen power he had at the beginning to distract us from the Nen in the room. He had originally conjured up mini bear trap shit and he got me with one of them when I figured it out,” I explain.

Hisoka nods at my explanation and lifts my now blood-soaked shirt and tank top. The wound is big and deep. I sigh with a bit of disappointment and say, “I’ll be fine. Let’s just go.”

“May I look at your tattoo?” He asks.

I hiss. “Is that really a good idea right now?”

“Yes. Have you heard of I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” He asks and licks his lips.

I hit him playfully since he meant it the dirty way and I groan. “Fine. Make it fast.”

He nods and helps me up, knowing that I am in more pain then I will admit. He turns me around and lifts the rest of my shirt and tank top up. He examines it for a minute but surprises me when he unhooks my bra strap.

“Hisoka!” I hiss in a warning.

He laughs. “It was covering it. So, Chrollo deemed you his equal. Impressive. Odd that he would let you have the same number as him, but it makes sense from when I hear them reminiscence about you.”

I do not say anything. I do not even want to remember that. He hooks my bra back and puts my clothing down. I turn around and he asks with a smirk, “Are you going to strip me now?”

I roll my eyes and he turns around for me. He swiftly removes his shirt to show a large tattoo on his back, like me, except his number is four. I hesitantly touch the tattoo only to grow confused. His skin doesn’t feel like… skin.

“Having fun?” He teases.

“You’re deceiving them? Is that why you also don’t care about my secret with Gon?”

He turns around and quickly slams me into the wall, once again surprising me and hurting my injury. His smirk widens. “Nope. I just wanted to show you my secret. Now that I have, why don’t we make another promise?”

“You don’t have that ability to make me promise not to tell anyone,” I deadpan.

“I am aware.”

My face grows a bit heated as I realize that he just wants to kiss me. I didn’t even know I can have feelings like this again. It’s refreshing. I glare at him and he just backups and puts his shirt on. It’s hard for me to even stand up straight and Hisoka notices this. He gestures to a new door and holds his arm out for me.

I take it grateful that he’s being nice even and we go through the door. It turns into a short tunnel which we make it through rather fast and enter yet another room however, when I feel Hisoka’s aura I know that it’s the guy the prisoner was talking about, Togari.

Some staircases and candles have a green light emit from them as soon as we enter. “I’ve been waiting for you… Hisoka. I’m not an examiner this year. I’m here for revenge. Since last year’s exam, all I’ve focused on was killing you. Today, I’ll get payback for my scars!” He states.

Hisoka smiles and pushes me to the stairs. I nod and listen to his request understanding that this was their fight and from the looks of it, the man could honestly care less about me. I walk slowly to the staircase and sit on one of the steps as Hisoka answers with a tone in his voice that meant he’s ready to kill.

“Hm. Those scars merely show that you were an incompetent examiner. You’re blaming me for your own inadequacies,” Hisoka states as fact.

I let out a soft sigh as I watch the little fight go on and to be honest, I’m impressed by Hisoka. He easily catches the dudes’ blades in a matter of minutes. “I appreciate your futile efforts,” Hisoka states with a smile that meant victory for him.

I watch with fascination as he cuts the guy’s head off with the man’s own blade. Devious. The lights go out as soon as he killed him and I sense Hisoka right in front of me. “Let’s go,” He states.

I laugh lightly and ask, “Why don’t you finish me off now?”

“Why would I do that?” Hisoka asks now serious.

I reach for his hand and place it on my forehead. It feels cool against my hot skin. I say, “I already have a fever. That means I lost too much blood and the wound is probably infected. It would be the perfect time for you to try and kill me.”

He swats my hand away from him and grabs my face with the same hand and squishes it. “Don’t be a fool. I wouldn’t want to waste my goal by doing that. There is no point in trying to defeat you if you aren’t at your full potential. Besides, you’re my personal toy until then. So, do not bring up this foolish idea again,” Hisoka states his nails digging into my skin before he lets go. 

I sigh as he pulls me into him and grips the side that is not injured tightly. We no longer talk the rest of the way. We make it to the end rather fast. The last door. Hisoka holds me tightly in front of him and we hear Beans announce us.

“(Name), applicant 40, is the first to pass the Third Phase. Hisoka, applicant 44, is the second to pass the Third Phase. Both with the total time of six hours and seventeen minutes,” The announcement stops.

Hisoka sets me down beside the door we came out of and sits beside me. I frown as I ask a question, “Does this make us allies since I am your supposed toy until you believe you can pass me?”

Hisoka smirks and looks at me with amusement.

“Yes. My beloved toy.”

* * *


	4. We're Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka is jealous of a minor incident but won't admit it. Might as well call them kissing buddies.

It has been hours since we passed this phase and Hisoka has been generous enough to let me lean and sleep on him. My wound got worse as well as my fever but it is why he is being generous. He does not want anyone else to take advantage of me. We get weird looks unless Hisoka or I glare at the person to which they mind their own business.

  
Eventually, there is only a minute before the phase ends. I smile when I feel Gon’s presence and stand up on shaky legs. Once he makes it through with Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio, they get excited to see me. They run over to me and Gon hugs me while Killua asks what happened to me.

  
I just smile. “I’m glad to see you all make it.”

  
“We’re glad to see you too (Name)!” Gon states happily while Killua tries to hide his smile.

  
Leorio and Kurapika smile at me and congratulate me on passing with them. The examiner announces that the phase is over and opens a large door to the outside. Gon and Killua stand by my side to help me walk outside. They can tell I am in pain from the obvious bad injury and don’t need to ask.

  
Once everyone is outside the Warden of the prison speaks to us with a box in front of him and someone else besides him. “Congratulations on passing the Third Phase and getting out of Trick Tower alive. There is only this phase and the Final Phase left. The Fourth Phase will take place over there, on Zevil Island. Let us proceed,” He pauses.

  
Once he has everyone’s attention to the box he continues, “I will need you to draw lots. It will determine who will hunt and be hunted. In here are twenty-four numbered cards. In other words, your ID numbers are on the cards. Now, I need you to draw in order from who finished the phase. Will the first person come forward?”

  
I nod as Gon and Killua step away from me. I use my Nen to let the others know that even if I am injured I am not to be trifled against. I go up and slowly draw from the box. Once I obtained a card, I simply leave back to Gon and Killua.

  
This process happens multiple times until we all have a card. “Now everyone, remove the seal from your card. The card indicates your target.”

  
Everyone turns cautious and touches their ID card. I could care less since I won’t let anyone who I don’t trust touch me. The Warden quickly explains how we can dispose of the card now since the box recorded who our target is. Our own ID tag is worth three points as well as our targets. If we don’t get our targets everyone else’s tag is worth one point and we need a total of six points to pass and we can use any method to obtain the card.

  
When he is done explaining we can enter a boat. Everyone is on edge and gloomy. I sit with Gon and Killua and sigh as I feel their aura. I grab two pieces of wood from the boat and decide to manipulate it in case I get weaker.

  
I hand the two pieces of wood to the boys making them confused. “What’s this for (Name)-san?” Gon asks.

  
I answer with a smile, “Well you two aren’t my target so I am giving this to you in case you need to make an alliance with someone. Just break it and I’ll be on your team the second you do.”

  
Killua frowns and looks a bit uneasy about me being nice but then he smiles. “Thanks (Name). You and Gon aren’t my targets either.”

  
“Yeah thank you (Name)!” Gon smiles and they both pocket the piece of wood.

  
They both show me the numbers they have. Gon has the number 44 and Killua has number 199. I am worried about Gon since his target is Hisoka and I know he is excited about that and fears it. I am his mother so it’s only natural for me to worry but he is mine and Ging’s son so he can do it.

  
I show them the number I got and they don’t have a clue who it is. The number is 89. I get up and leave heading to check out on Kurapika and Leorio. They smile upon seeing me before Leorio gets worried that he’s my target. I laugh and reassure them.

  
“That’s good. Oh hey (Name). I noticed that you are injured, and you don’t look so hot. Not to say you literally don’t because you are a babe but still,” Leorio blushes as he searches through his briefcase.

  
I can feel Hisoka’s glare on us from this conversation. He’s eavesdropping then. I sigh but smile when Leorio hands me something. It’s a bottle and bandages. “Wrap that up and change it every few hours and drink that when you feel like you’re not improving. It should help you through this,” Leorio states.

  
I smile and thank him. “Thank you… Doctor.”

  
I wink at him before leaving. Of course, I do see the nose bleed before I do leave. We get to the island soon and the examiner explains for this that we are staying here for a week and everyone is leaving in order. I nod when she lets me and I leave deciding it would be best to find a hiding place.

  
A few hours pass before I stop at a clearing. It is surrounded by trees. Just as I am about to continue I feel something flying towards me and I quickly dodge it. The person has dark blue hair and looks straight at my tag and asks, “Are you an idiot? You didn’t even bother hiding it. Well, you’re my target.”

  
I smile. “You must have awful luck.”

  
He looks confused before he suddenly is truly concerned. He drops to his knees and starts to plead for his life as I come closer my knife already in hand. “W-Wait! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were this powerful! Let me go! Let me live!”

  
“Are you an idiot?” I copy the words he used.

  
He winces and tries to defy my powerful Nen. I am so happy I am a Manipulator. I let out a sigh as I let my knife slice his throat open. I stop all my Nen to conceal my presence and look for his tag so I can at least have an extra point.

  
However, when I find it I laugh. It’s number 89. “Looks like he did have the worst of luck,” Hisoka states coming out from where the guy did.

  
I smile. “Or I have the best. Which would mean the world is ending.”

  
Hisoka does not say anything else as he examines me. I lean against a tree and frown at him as he just continues to stand there. I can’t tell what is going on in that psychotic head of his. Before I can say anything, I get a bit distracted by something beautiful, a butterfly.

  
It’s blood red and there are a ton of them surrounding me. I put my finger out gently and one lands on it. “It’s pretty,” I mutter out even forgetting where I am as my head grows a bit fuzzy.

  
Hisoka lets out a laugh and almost a moan sound which brings me back to reality. “That expression…. Oh, it’s beautiful. It is like you are stepping into death itself for a moment and back out. I want to see more of that expression,” He says full out moaning this time.

  
I can sense his arousal and I wince before asking, “Are you planning on killing me now or taking my tag?”

  
“No.” He is also brought back to his senses. His hand goes up to my forehead and he scowls.

  
He holds out his hand in irritation and I ask, “What?”

  
“Don’t ask what. You flirted with that wannabe doctor and he gave you stuff. You haven’t used it so I’m going to make you,” Hisoka growls out.

  
I narrow my eyes in confusion wondering why he’s irritated about that but I obey and give him the bandages and small bottle of liquid. He unwraps it and lifts my shirt up to see that the wound is still bleeding. He wraps it quickly and securely around me giving me the rest of the bandages before placing my shirt back down.

  
He opens the bottle and gives it to me, “Drink a little bit. It’ll make your fever stop I’m assuming so you won’t zone out again. You’re going to need stitches if it is still bleeding.”

  
I almost laugh. I will be fine. I always am. I nod and drink from the bottle and he closes it and hands it back to me as well. I feel one of his nails scrapes over my cheek and he says, “Good girl.”

  
“Why are you following me?” I ask now regaining a bit of my senses.

  
Hisoka scoffs. “We’re allies. That’s what I came here for. I want you to make another promise with me as well. I want you to make me promise that we’re allies.”

  
“And if I don’t?” I frown.

  
He pulls me close to him by the waist and slams me back into the tree while an evil smirk tugs on his lips. “You will. If not I will just take your tags and leave you unharmed,” He states.

  
He holds up the two tags in one of his hands making my eyes go wide. He must’ve done that when he bandaged me up! I groan. “Fine asshole.”

  
He smirks and pushes all his weight onto me so I’m practically being smothered into the tree. I use Nen to flow to my lips and once he sees the light I nod and he whispers, “I promise that we are allies and I will not betray you in any way.”

  
With that said he pushes his lips onto mine and holds me by my neck to make sure I stay still. His nails digging in a little bit as he explores my mouth. Once the burning of the deal sealed subsided he continued, and I realized something…. I am enjoying this intoxicating kiss.

  
When he pulls away, I want to shake my head and get rid of these feelings but instead, I keep up my composure and act like it did not affect me. He on the other hand has no problems showing how much the kiss affected him as he licks his lips and stares at me as if he is going to devour me.

  
“You should listen to my advice my beautiful prey. Since you have both your tags go and wait near the pickup point,” Hisoka suggests before disappearing as if he weren’t there in the first place.

  
Again, these feelings are refreshing to me. I know they do not mean anything since as he said, I am nothing but a toy for his amusement until he surpasses me. I let out a sigh as I leave the tree. I feel better thanks to Leorio but now what am I supposed to do these next few days? I let out a deep angry sigh as I decide to just walk and sleep my time away.

  
Eventually, a few days pass and I come across Killua. Well not really. I hide my presence from him as I see him fooling the three brothers that made it to this phase.

  
Killua is an assassin which means he was probably tortured and trained under the cruelest conditions. He probably has a decent chance against me in my current injured state. I sigh as I watch him feign to go a certain way, but he goes above the brother in red and has him as a hostage.

  
“What? Number 197. I am so bad at guessing these. Give me 198,” Killua demands as his nails dig into the boy’s skin.

  
I smile at his little sadistic side. It is rather fun. Once he has all three tags, he throws two of them in different directions. “You still have three days. Good luck finding them,” Killua says before leaving.

  
I stick behind him and catch up to him. “Kil, wait up!” I say softly. He stops immediately and glares at me until he realizes that it is me.

  
“You knew Hanzo was there, didn’t you?” I laugh lightly.

  
He nods and smiles proudly. “Yes. That was boring. You have both of the tags you need?”

  
“Yup, shall we go to the point together?” I ask.

  
He nods and we are on our way.


	5. Arm Breaking, a Clown Fight, and a Duel Between Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi and Reader have a face off.

“Killua, carry me!” I demand softly as I lean onto the young child.

He groans but supports my weight. “Why’d you get all whiny suddenly. It’s annoying.”

“If you truly thought that you would’ve slaughtered me by now, wouldn’t you? But you care about me, don’t you?” I ask pinching his cheek.

Killua glares at me and looks the other way as a light pink tint covers his cheeks. “No. Seriously, what’s up with you?” He asks making me lean against a tree.

We’re close to the pickup point. Killua's eyes widen when he looks down at me. My motherly instincts hit me, and I grow concerned. “What’s wrong?”

He sighs as he lifts up my shirt, “Your injury is still bleeding and heavily. It bled through the bandages. Do you have more?”

I nod and hand it to him and he murmurs, “God you’re annoying.”

He unwraps the bandages and applies the new ones. He spots the bottle in my pocket and makes me drink some of it as well. “How are you alive (Name)? Wait, scratch that, I forgot you’re actually stronger than me,” Killua states with a bored expression.

“Yup. How are you doing though buddy?”

He sweat drops at the name and sighs. “Go to sleep (Name). Rest will make you feel better.”

I nod and gladly make the boy’s leg my pillow to which he sighs but lets me. The next time I wake up, I am faced with a Killua that is actually being gentle with me. He sighs, “The boat is here. It’s safe to go to the site now.”

I nod and he helps me up. My mind feels so foggy and he is being understanding so I am thankful to have him by my side. As we enter the path that leads to the boat we see others there. Before we are within hearing distance, I smile at Killua. “Thank you Killua for taking care of me. I’m thankful to have you as my friend.”

He looks genuinely surprised by my words but I can tell it makes him happy. He simply nods and we hear the lady examiner announce that the phase is officially over and that we have one hour to get to the actual site before we fail. She gets on land.

“Then now I will call everyone who’s passed! 44, Hisoka-san. 53, Pokkle-san. 99, Killua-san. 40, (Name)-san. 301, Gittarackur-san. 191, Bodoro-san. 294, Hanzo-san. Okay, so seven applicants have passed. Oh, three more arrive at the last second! 404, Kurapika-san. 403, Leorio-san. 405, Gon-san. Alright! Ten applicants have passed the Fourth Phase!” She states proudly.

All of us are now allowed to board the airship and once we do I congratulate and hug Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio before I go and rest. That is before my name is called after a few other applicants.

I enter a room to see Netero-san. He smiles. “Hello (Name). I’m going to start off with one question.”

I nod and he continues, “Why do you want to be a hunter?”

“I’m looking for someone. Someone who changed my life,” I answer honestly.

He nods. “Good reason to become a hunter. Now, who are you keeping your eye on?”

“I am keeping my eye on 404 and 99 for good reasons,” I state honestly.

He nods and smiles, “Last question. Who do you want to fight the least?”

“404 and 99. I would automatically forfeit.”

Netero nods as he writes it down. “Thank you. You may leave.”

I nod and get up. I should’ve said Leorio and Kurapika as well but that would’ve been too many people. Either way, I have a good feeling I will be on the safe side for whatever Netero has planned and from the questions I am pretty sure it’s a fight. I do my best to rest until we get to the site.

Once we are at the site, Netero greets us along with the other examiner and the bodyguards that were following us in the last Phase. “Hello everyone. I hope you rested up well. This hotel is owned by the Hunter Exam Selection Committee. This place shall be yours until the battles conclude. For the Final Phase, we will be holding a one-on-one tournament. One win is all you need to pass. The person who makes it to the top of this bracket fails,” Netero explains.

Once the sheet is removed from the whiteboard to show which applicants will be fighting who. I sigh. I must fight either Hisoka or Kurapika after their fight.

Everyone gets a bit puzzled from how the three major criteria, physical strength, mental strength, and overall impression that scored them. I honestly don’t understand why everyone is making a big deal out of it. We made it to the Final Phase and that should be all that matters.

Once Netero clears that up for them, we all enter the battling room. Hanzo and Gon go first and I am a bit hesitant about it. I stand right next to Hisoka and Killua. It just started and my heart stops when Hanzo gets a hit on Gon.

My motherly instincts act up and my hand grabs my knife. Hisoka and Killua notice and give me a look. That does not stop me as I see Hanzo continuously hit Gon in the back of the neck. “(Name),” Killua whispers harshly.

I don’t listen as Hanzo is now hitting my baby. Hisoka grabs my arm and squeezes it tightly in a warning. This brings me back to reality. I can’t interfere unless I want Gon to be disqualified.

~*~

It has been three fucking hours and there are bloodstains on the floor. I’m losing my mind. Hisoka had to keep me still throughout the entire ordeal. That is until Hanzo says something now that makes me freeze as I fight off the urge to slaughter him.

“I’ll break your arm. I’m not joking around so give up,” Hanzo states.

I am reaching my breaking point as Hanzo does as he promises and breaks Gon’s arm. I wince and sweat drops off my forehead from anger. I can feel Leorio’s and Kurapika’s anger as well. “I’m going to kill him,” I whisper under my breath.

That is until Gon kicks the guy right in his face and makes a point. Hanzo states he’ll give him a permanent injury to wake him up by cutting off his legs. “No! I do not want my legs cut off and I don’t want to surrender!” He states like the child he is.

This makes my mood lighten as I smile at the reminder he’s stubborn like me and Ging. I let out a laugh as his stubbornness lightens up the mood in the room. Others laugh at it as well. Leorio and Kurapika are no longer angry.

“I am going to find my dad! My dad is a hunter and I’ll become a hunter to find him! If I give up now I’ll never find him!” Gon states as he voices my own wishes as well.

Gon’s stubbornness eventually gets to Hanzo and he surrenders. Gon doesn’t like that either and wants to fight him which makes Hanzo knock him out completely since he surrendered. “If Gon fails that will make the rest of our fights meaningless. He’ll probably wake up not accepting his win so make sure that doesn’t happen,” Hanzo states.

He is completely right. Killua seems unconvinced that Gon should have won that and he looks for clarification as he asks Hanzo when he walks back to the wall we are at. “Why did you let Gon win? I’m sure you could’ve gotten him to surrender given your skills,” Killua states.

Hanzo stops and answers his questions, “I would’ve tortured him. When I torture someone, I expect them to hate me for the rest of their life. It’s more effective and less stressful. When someone is in pain, their eyes show a gleam of hostility toward the one responsible for that pain. Even through extensive training, it is hard to suppress that gleam of hatred… But there was no gleam in Gon’s eyes. Can you believe that? I had broken his arm but his eyes had already forgotten about that. I guess you can say he won me over.”

With that explanation, he walks to his spot. Killua understands a bit better. The next fight is between Hisoka and Kurapika. They fight for a while before Hisoka whispers something to him and surrenders. Hanzo and Pokkle fight next and Hanzo wins.

I sigh as the next fight is between Hisoka and I. This is going to be awkward seeing as he does not want to fight me. I whisper something to him before we walk out into the little arena part. “Wanna test your skills?” I ask with a tone in my voice that will definitely make him want to try.

A smirk lands on his face as he walks to the arena with me. “Begin,” the guard states when we are ready.

Hisoka and I simply stand there waiting for me to make a move. I let out a sigh as I grab my knife out of my pocket making him step back. I know he’s going to break his promise with this if I tempt him and I want him to feel what happens if he breaks one of my promises.

I look at my knife and smile as I bring it down to my other hand and slice it open. I maintain eye contact with Hisoka as I do this and he shivers. I am raising his blood lust. “Hisoka you fucking weirdo, don’t you want to try my blood?” I ask as if I am offering it to him.

He does not make a move as his eyes start to turn violent. I smile as I throw the knife at him, cutting his cheek as he swiftly turns to catch it and throw it back at me. That was the error in this. I feel my lips tingle and bad, and on him, it will feel like a poison is leaking through into his blood. It should feel like he’s on fire.

His eyes widen and I can see the pain in his eyes as he tries to mask it. I walk up to him slowly and whisper in his ear, “That is what happens when you break a promise. Now, this was a little wakeup call so to say. If you break that other promise it’ll feel much worse from how much Nen was in the other one.”

We stay like that for a moment before he smirks and turns around walking back to where we stood in the line. “I surrender,” He states. I got a win which means I pass.

The next fight is between Hisoka and Borodoro, to which Hisoka wins. Killua and Pokkle are next and Killua surrenders stating he is not interested. The next match is between Leorio and Bodoro but he still hasn’t recovered from his and Hisoka’s fight.

Netero lets Killua go again to the next opponent Gittarackur. I get chills upon seeing those two together and I frown sensing something is about to go wrong… To which I am right when Gittarackur says, “It’s been long Kil.”

He takes the pins out of his face and he turns into a different man. My heart stops when I recognize the emotion fear on Killua’s face. “I heard you cut Mom on her face and Milluki. Mom was crying. Tears of joy. She was so happy to see you all grown up but she’s worried about you leaving home so she asked me to check on you,” Illumi states.

I notice something wrong with his eyes as he stares at Killua. It’s like he’s hypnotizing him. “You’re a puppet of darkness without any passion. You don’t want anything or wish for anything. As one who lives in the shadows, you can only feel pleasure when people die. That’s how Dad and I raised you,” Illumi states.

I start to zone out as I stare at his eyes. “There is something I want!” Killua shouts in defense causing me to get upset at Illumi.

“I want to be friends with Gon!”

My eyes widen. This poor child… All he wants it to be friends with Gon. Illumi says that he will never be able to make friends. He is twisting Killua’s brain around and it is pissing me off to no ends. Leorio saves my mind when he reminds Killua that they already are friends.

“This is bad. Okay, I’ll go kill Gon since he already sees Kil as a friend. A killer doesn’t need any friends,” Illumi states emotionless.

My blood is boiling. As soon as he said he’ll kill Gon some of us were put on edge and are by the door that leads to him in an instant. Leorio, Kurapika, Hanzo, and I guard the door staring at Illumi with distaste.

“Oh darn, I can’t kill anyone until I pass the exam! Kil, you must beat me to save Gon. What will you do? Will you fight me for your friend’s sake? I drilled it into you, not to fight people you can’t beat. I’m one of them. There’s only one way to stop me. If you don’t fight me, your dear Gon will die,” He states putting his hands out as his eyes continue to do that hypnotizing thing.

“I surrender,” Killua states fear still on his face.

Illumi nods and continues to speak, his voice void of any emotion, “Good! That was a test. Killua, you don’t have the right to make friends nor do you need them. You should just listen to Dad and me, and do your job as you always have.”

I can feel Killua’s aura diminish. He’s gone. That bastard did something to him. With the fight done they check on Bodoro. He says he needs five minutes. So, I quickly speak up, “May I fight Illumi? We both won so I see no harm.”

Netero thinks for a moment and nods, “I will allow it since you both have won.”

I am going to beat that bastard.

“Will you fight me Illumi?” I ask softly.

Illumi tilts his head confused before nodding, “I suppose. I don’t see a point but if you wish for a fight, you will receive one.”

Good. When we are both facing each other, I can feel his deadly aura already. “Begin!” The guard says and I quickly move out of the way as he throws pins to where I was standing.

“What did you do to Killua?” I ask harshly.

Illumi tilts his head again. “What do you mean?”

“You did something to him. I can tell. I know you hypnotized him but for what?” I ask making the others nod in agreement. The examiners do not make a move as they just watch.

Illumi frowns and says, “I grow bored of being accused by someone who has no business with Killua. Your downfall will be caring for someone you should not care for.”

Before I can shout at him or put my Nen up, I feel a sharp pain in my injury. I look down to see his hand in it, my shirt and tank top now with a hole in it.

“You didn’t pass out. Normal people should have died by now from this injury. Now that I am digging my hand around in it, you should be screaming in pain. Why are you not?” He asks confused.

It fucking hurts but I’m not showing it. “Illumi?” I ask as he goes deeper into the wound.

“Yes?” He replies confused.

I ask a simple question, “Do you think you can beat me?”

“I already did,” He states.

I smirk as he suddenly freezes upon feeling my knife on his throat. “It seems I underestimated you,” He states gently pulling his now bloody hand out from my wound.

“I surrender,” Illumi states turning around and going back to the line.

He knows I could have finished him off right there from that small mistake he made. However, it seems that we are equal in power. I sigh as I walk back to my spot in the line everyone staring at me with surprise. It makes me irritated and I snap, “What?”

“(Name), your wound!” Kurapika says worriedly.

I look down to see that the wound is much bigger since Illumi put his hand in it and it is bleeding much more and at a faster rate. I just shrug as I wait. Bodoro is ready to fight Leorio thanks to me but as quickly as it started, it ends.

Killua kills Bodoro and is disqualified. I am angry as I realized that is what Illumi wanted. He hypnotized Killua to kill someone. Leorio wins automatically. Once that is all over, we receive our Hunter licenses. Kurapika and Leorio escort me to the room they both share.

Leorio sighs as he looks through his briefcase for thread and needles. Great. “Honestly (Name), you need to listen to me this time otherwise you won’t recover.”

“Yeah, you really need to take better care of yourself,” Kurapika states.

I nod my head feeling tired. “I know… Thank you, guys.”

“Of course. You’re our friend too,” Kurpika smiles.

Leorio nods, “Yup! And as your friends, we are forcing you to stay here tonight so you do not do anything stupid and you can rest up! Gon should be up and about tomorrow!”

I smile thankful to have met these two along with Gon and Killua. They sure have brought a new sense of light on my life. My very dark life.

~*~

The next morning, all of us but Gon are in a lecture hall where the orientation will be. It should be short. There is strong tension felt between Illumi and I. Well mostly me since Illumi apparently does not have any human emotions since he is a jerk.

I glare at him from the top back row where I can see everyone. Leorio and Kurapika sit a few rows in front of me and the others far away from me. Though I can tell Hisoka is entertained by my aggressive emotions I am trying to detain.

We wait patiently for the examiners and Netero to come to give the stupid orientation. However, when they do show up, Gon also does and he wastes no time in confronting Illumi. I stay out of it, smirking, as I feel the rage he feels. It is the same, only he is willing to act out on it.

“Apologize to Killua!” Gon demands.

Illumi looks at him confused. “Apologize? For what?”

“You don’t know what you did wrong?” Gon is extremely pissed. I am surprised he can control his anger as well as he is.

Gon continues, “You don’t earn the right to be his brother!”

“Must I earn the right to be his brother?” Illumi asks now facing the front again.

This makes him snap and Gon surprises all of us when he grabs Illumi’s arm and flips him out of the seat. Illumi lands with grace but Gon holds a deadly grip. With that grip, he must have broken Illumi’s arm. “He doesn’t need to earn the right to be my friend!” Gon states.

“Don’t bother apologizing. Just tell me where Killua is. I’m going to rescue him!” Gon demands again. I nod. I want to help him. Killua is a good kid who did not deserve whatever he has been through.

Illumi speaks in a monotone voice, “You make it sound as though I kidnapped him…”

“You manipulated him! It’s the same as kidnapping!” Gon snaps.

Netero speaks up, “We’ve been discussing this Gon. Leoreo, Kurapika, and (Name) have lodged complaints. The committee has been discussing the fairness of Killua’s disqualification.”

I stand up as well as Kurpika does. I can’t hold back my tongue, “Listen, you old man! Most of us are convinced and know that Killua has been hypnotized!”

Kurapika nods, “It would be impossible to use hypnosis to induce a person to kill, however, as Killua was raised in a family of assassins, murder was a part of his daily life so it’s natural that he would lack the ethical restraint of most!”

I nod and Leorio stands up as well, “I want to mention. That attack happened during the match between Bodoro and me. It is possible that he was trying to help me. Thus, the one who should be disqualified is me.”

“In either case, Killua was not in control of his actions so he should not be disqualified!” Kurapika shouts.

Netero sighs and turns around to face the examiners. “That is mere speculation. There is no proof. There would be signs of a manipulator. In fact, I would question the claim that he was hypnotized-“

“Okay, I call bullshit! I am leaving. I cannot handle this room of tomfoolery. I will give a summary of the orientation so I can leave. The Hunter License allows us to enter 90% of the countries that limit immigration, as well as 75% of the restricted areas in the world. It provides free access to 95% of public facilities, and a line of credit that rivals large corporations. If I sell the card, I will have enough money to last seven lifetimes but of course, live comfortably with it. Do not lose it or get it stolen because there is no replacement. I’ll be leaving now,” I state my aura strong and deadly to show that I will not accept otherwise.

Netero nods. “It was wonderful to have you as an applicant. We now declare you a Hunter.”

With that said I leave and wait outside for the others allowing myself to cool off. I let out a sigh once I am finally back to normal and not angry. When that happens, the others come to the bench I was sitting on. “Are you okay (Name)? You were angrier than I was!” Gon states.

Leorio nods and Kurapika says, “Yeah are you okay? The tension was breathtaking.”

I nod. “I am good now. I just need to control my anger better. I will work on it. Did you figure out where Killua is?”

“Yup! He’s on the top of Kukuroo Mountain!” Gon smiles.

I nod and we conclude to look it up online. Before we can, Hanzo says goodbye to us and leave on good terms with us. Pokkle is next but before he leaves, he offers to look up something on his computer for us.

“Oh, I know! Look up Ging Freecss!” Gon says excitedly making me curious now.

Pokkle frowns as he does so. “Hey who is this guy? All the information behind him is locked up tightly and requires a bunch of different accesses. He has some serious influence, even at the national level. Well, if that’s it let me know if anything else comes up!”

He gives us his email address. I frown. Of course, Ging would not be easy to find. I wonder how he will react when he knows I am alive. I sigh. I do not want to get nervous about this. Leorio realizes a bit too late. “We should have asked him to look up Kukuroo Mountain.”

We all sweatdrop at the fact that we could have done that. “It’s fine. We are hunters now. We shouldn’t let others know what we are up to,” Kurapika states bringing us light.

I laugh and Satotz shows up, “Gon, may I speak to you?”

Gon looks at us and Kurapika nods, “Go ahead. We’ll wait in the lobby for you.”

It does not take long for Gon to return and when he does, Kurapika looks up the place and orders us tickets to get a flight to Kukuroo Mountain in the Republic of Padokea. We are going to find Killua and bring him home to us! I am already looking forward to this little adventure with my new friends and my son!


	6. The Zoldyck Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mental battle of the mamas: Mama Bear vs Mama Robot

All of us are now on a train headed for a city near Kukuroo Mountain. I am literally in pain. I lean onto Kurapika who is amused by my behavior. Leorio is annoyed by me and Gon just finds this whole situation funny.

“Well, maybe you should’ve listened to me when I said to rest!” Leorio shouts after I had complained about the pain again.

Leorio stitched up my injury rather good at the hotel but now it hurts worse like a bitch since it is recovering from an infection. It is sort and it hurts but Leorio has only been a good doctor. Not that I would admit that out loud since he is being a jerk.

I pout and refuse to look at the man. “What kind of doctor yells at his patients?”

Complete silence before I answer, “A BAD ONE!”

“OH YOU LITTLE-“ Leorio is about to curse me out before Kurapika looks out the window.

He points to a mountain and says, “That must be Kukuroo Mountain! We will have to get information when we get off the train.”

I nod and hug the boy. “You’re so smart!”

He sweat drops at my praise since it should have been obvious that is what we are supposed to do. When we get to our destination, we end up on a bus to take us to Kukuroo Mountain since it’s a famous tourist place. The lady tour guide is explaining that the mountain is home to the famous Zoldyck family of assassins.

What catches my attention is when she says that the family that lives there contains a great-grandfather, grandfather, mother, father, and then a total of five children. We only know of two. Killua and Illumi.

I frown at the thought. Eventually, we make it to the front gate of the Zoldyck estate. There is a much smaller gate and door beside the security office. I sigh as two people who are not tourists claim it’s a sham. “It’s just rumors. A family of assassins no one has ever seen before. Just a picture of their faces is worth a hundred million,” The guy states.

Leorio and I look at each other and shout, “WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A PICTURE OF KILLUA!”

Kurapika frowns in disapproval while Gon sweat drops. I turn serious when I see the two guys harass the security guard. Something is not right. He is not a normal security guard. He is working for a family of assassins so he can’t be weak. He must be acting.

He lets the guys in and sighs. “Well, this is bad. Mike isn’t going to eat his dinner well.”

The door opens and the guys come back out now as skeletons. This makes all the tourists and the tourist guide run back to the van in a hurry. They leave once Gon explains we are staying here. I am amused. The others are a bit concerned.

A while passes as we explain to the guard, Zebro, why we are here, and he makes us tea. “I see. This is a pleasant surprise to see Killua’s young friends. You see, I worked here for twenty years and I have not seen any friends come and visit. I should not say this since I work here but the place does get rather lonely. We don’t get many visitors, but we do get a bunch of intruders that die seconds after they pass,” He explains.

He continues now turning serious, “I can’t let you inside. Did you see the beast who killed the two? He’s the family dog that follows the order to kill who trespasses.”

Kurapika points something out, “Sir how do you get inside then? You don’t need a key to get in.”

“Quite perspective of you. This key is for intruders. Most try to get in from the locked door, so they take the key from the helpless guard and Mike eats them,” Zebro states.

Kurapika looks like he discovered something and the guard laughs, “You see! I am not a guard. I just merely pick up after Mike.”

“That means the actual gate isn’t locked!”

We all go to the main gate to check it out and I sigh. That monstrous gate is going to kill them. I might be able to get through, but I need a warmup. Leorio gets angry when he cannot open the gate and Zebro sighs. “Watch me. The gate’s official name is the Testing Gate. Anyone who cannot open this gate is unqualified to enter the Zoldyck estate.”

He uses his Nen and opens it before allowing it to close. “As you see the door closes as soon as you open it, so you will want to run in, the second it opens. You do not need to worry about Mike. He has orders not to attack any who enters through the Testing Gate. I should mention that each of gate one’s doors weighs two tons and the others double in weight,” Zebro explains.

“All we have to do is open one door correct?” I ask.

He nods and I smile at the others as I ask, “Is it all right if I go ahead? I believe there might be someone here I met before.”

Kurapika looks surprised, “You can get in?”

I nod and sigh. “However, I won’t let you guys come in with me. I want you to figure it out on your own. Besides, you need the training.”

Leorio is about to object before Gon smiles, “Go ahead. Tell Killua we’re coming for him!”

I smile and look at Zebro. “May I?”

He looks surprised at me but nods. The others do not know about Nen yet, so I want them to train and find it on their own. That way their Nen will be strong. I stand before the door and activate my Nen, focusing on all my strength. I want to test myself and see how many doors I can open.

I focus all my Nen into both of my hands using Ko. Ko is a combination of Ten, Zetsu, Ren, and Gyo. It makes my powerful Nen go to the part of the body I want, which in this case is my hands. It will be powerful and let me open at least a few doors.

Once I am sure all of my power lies within my hands, I give one simple push and smile at my progress. I can hear Leorio freak the fuck out and Kurapika and Gon being completely shocked. Zebro is impressed. I have opened six doors. I am rusty. If I had stayed with the Spider, I could have opened the seventh.

I sigh. “I’ll see you guys later.”

Gon smiles. “Yeah see you later!”

“Be safe!” Kurapika waves.

Leorio lightens up. “See ya!”

I walk through the doors.

~*~

I sigh as it takes a while for me to make it up the hill. I saw Mike but he ignored me so that was good. I make sure to keep up with my surroundings, but I do not sense anyone yet. There is however one guard up ahead.

I am afraid I must pass her. I slow my walking when I see an entrance and her standing right behind it. She is a young girl. “I am afraid you are trespassing. You are not allowed to go further. If you cross this line, I am afraid I will have to remove you with force,” She states.

I smile and ignore her warning. I walk slowly and it intimidates her, especially when she feels my Nen. I cross the line with one foot and feel her attack coming on. I grab her weapon by the ball and flip her over, so we are on opposite sides.

I am where she was, and she was where I was. She is shocked that I made her go pass the line. I can feel many more butlers and maids now hiding between the trees. They are threatening me. If I make another move, they will attack. Someone else is aware of this.

“I didn’t expect you to be stronger than Canary. I am impressed. What is it you want?” A women’s voice speaks softly.

I turn and look ahead to see the lady of the family. Kikyo Zoldyck. “You don’t remember me? I remember you,” I say just as soft.

I can see a child behind her. It is a boy but can have the appearance of a girl. This is one of Killua’s siblings. Kikyo smiles as if she does remember me now. “All of you can stand down. (Name) here is a guest now. I will take care of her,” She states with authority.

They leave except Canary. She goes back to her hiding spot to look out for more intruders. “Follow me (Name),” Kikyo states turning and leaving with her child right behind her.

It is complete silence until we reach their estate. When we do, she takes me straight to the main room where tea is being served. “Why are you here? We do not have any real connections with each other. In fact, I thought you died in that wretched place,” Kikyo says sipping on her tea while her son stands right beside her.

I turn down her offer for some as I get straight to the point. “Well, Kikyo. I am not here to talk to you. I’m here for Killua.”

Her child’s eyes grow wide a little bit and I can feel Kikyo’s aura grow dark. “You know Killua?” She asks now upset.

I nod. “We met only once but I remember your Nen. That is how I realized you were living here when I was at the Front Gate. Your Nen is scattered all over the property I believe. I am impressed that you managed to make something of yourself seeing as where we come from. I care for Killua.”

“Is that so?” She asks putting her tea down.

I nod and she sighs. “Well (Name), this is my son Kalluto. You will follow us to see Killua. I’m only allowing you to see him since we share the same homeland.”

I nod and stand up with her. I smile at her son, “It’s nice to meet you Kalluto.”

He nods at me and we start walking, heading down some stairs until we are in a deep and musty basement. This must be where they torture their children for the training to be an assassin. I sigh as I feel Kikyo’s aura grow dark, “May I ask why you care for my son?”

“I met him at the Hunter’s Exam. He has great potential and ever since I met him, I felt like his mother figure,” I state honestly knowing fully well this will make her snap.

And it does. Just not right there and then. We walk until we are at a door. “Kalluto-chan, open the door,” She orders.

Kalluto does and once I see Killua my heart stops, but I remember it is not my place to say anything. I am in his house with his family. “Kil, have you learned your lesson yet?” Kikyo asks with her sickly-sweet voice.

The other boy in the room ignores my presence as he speaks to his mother, “It’s no use Mama! He will not say a word! We need to make him suffer!”

Well, it is obvious this kid is mad at Killua. Kikyo hits her hand with her girly lady fan and shouts. “Milluki! Shut your mouth! Kil, stop being so stubborn and say that you’re sorry!” Kikyo demands.

Milluki smirks and goes for a more aggravating approach, “Your friend is here…. It would be better off if he left. What was his name? Gon?”

I can see Killua’s hand twitch. I am pissed. It feels like he is gone still from Illumi’s hypnosis. “Gon is here?” He asks.

I frown and Kikyo scowls at her son Milluki. “You’re talking too much!”

“You didn’t even tell me?” Killua finally looks up and he looks shocked to see me.

I smile at him, but he ignores it and Kikyo sighs. “I didn’t think there was a need to tell you. Besides, he won’t make it up here.”

“He will. If (Name) got here, he will make it up here,” Killua states believing it.

Kikyo sighs and looks at me, “Oh. Killua I think I will have (Name) join you up there. She said something very displeasing to me. Would you like to hear it?”

I smirk making her scowl. Killua looks at me with interest, “What was it?”

“She said that she is here for you. She came all this way for you because she felt like your mother figure,” Kikyo states through gritted teeth.

Killua smiles at this. What makes my heart stop was that it was a genuine smile and it was directed at me.

“If she did that all for me, then she is my second mom.”

~*~

That is how I ended up hanging out with Killua in chains. Kikyo and her children are rather fast, and it did not help that I did not fight back. I mean it was worth it to see what they are made of too.

I frown as I feel the pain of the chains making my body dangle in the air. “Well, I haven’t been chained up in a long while. It kind of feels nice,” I state making Milluki angered.

Kikyo left Milluki to punish me and went off somewhere with Kalluto. Killua laughs. “Why didn’t I know you were tortured worse than me?”

“You didn’t ask,” I say with a chuckle.

“STOP HAVING FUN!” Milluki shouts hitting me right in the face with a whip.

This makes Killua stop laughing immediately and glare at the older boy. I sigh as I feel blood rush down my cheek. It is a bad cut. “You know Milluki. If you met me a few years back I would have made you regret even thinking about hurting me or Killua. You would have known a certain pain beyond your imagination,” I say my voice dead as I stare into his soul.

My famous stare makes him back up with fear for a few seconds before he wipes it off. I smile and say, “You’re lucky I’m not the same person I used to be!”

Killua sweat drops. “You are a monster, aren’t you?”

I just smile making Killua chuckle nervously. “You are more terrifying than Hisoka.”

“Come on! Don’t go that far!” I whine thinking about that magician. Now that I think about it that jerk did not even say bye to me when he left the hotel before we did.

Killua chuckles. “Well, it’s true.”

“I SAID STOP LAUGHING AND STOP IGNORING ME!” Milluki shouts again.


	7. Sons' Reunion!

It has been two weeks since Malluki has been “torturing” us. To be honest, it hurt a lot, but nothing compares to the past with the Troupe. He finally leaves for a break and turns off the light on us. This is the first time we have been able to talk. “How are you doing (Name)?” Killua asks seeming to be glad we can talk without someone else here.

I sigh. “I’m tired. How about you?”

“I’m happy you’re here… Did you really say that to my mom?” He asks.

“I did. She’s mentally unstable compared to the last time I saw her.”

“Oh? You’ve met my mom before?” Killua asks curiously now.

“Unfortunately, we shared the same hometown. Meteor City. Have you heard of it?” I ask as more memories come up to my mind.

He nods, “Yes. Canary told me about it. It is a city that has been erased from this world. You are allowed to dump anything in Meteor City. That is why many members of the mafia and the Phantom Troupe come from there. That is exactly what she said.”

“Yes… it is a rather tragic place. People who live there do not exist in any official records and it is known to very few people,” I say with a bitter laugh.

Sensing something weird coming from me from discussing Meteor City, Killua stops the conversation. Within a few minutes, I can hear him snoring. I stare without saying anything as Malluki comes back in. Killua fell asleep and I glare at the older boy as he gets a whip and hits Kil with it. “Wake up!”

“Oh, good morning,” Killua says softly.

Malluki yells, “Stop acting arrogant! Both of you!”

“What? I feel bad about stabbing you, Bro. Sorry. It was the wrong thing to do, Bro,” Killua states.

I hear the whip again and frown at Malluki. “LIAR!”

“You can tell?” Killua smirks.

It takes all I have not to laugh from Killua’s behavior. Malluki suddenly gets a call from his mother and when he hangs up, he smirks and looks at Killua. “Your friends are by the Butler’s Office. All I have to say for them to get-“

Killua breaks one of his chains and is held up by the last one as he speaks with his normal voice but his aura becomes deadly, “If you so much as touch them, I’ll kill you.”

Seconds later there is a knock on the door and when it opens, it reveals an old man. “That’s enough Mil. I know he is not sorry. Kil, you and your friend can go,” The old man says.

“Hai Grandfather Zeno,” Killua breaks the chains and turns to his brother once he is free. He says, “I am not sorry but I do feel bad, so I let you slap me around.”

I finally let out a laugh as I break the chains. Zeno stares at me with an emotion I cannot detect as Kil and I get ready to leave. “Oh, Kil. Silva wants to see you and your friend,” Zeno states.

“Father?”

Why the fuck does his dad want to see me?

Killua and I walk there in comfortable silence but when we enter his father’s room I frown. Why does he seem familiar? “Killua, Killua’s friend, please sit down,” Silva says.

We obey and Silva ignores me for a moment, “Kil… I heard you have friends. What kind of people are they?”

“People I enjoy being with. Like (Name)-san,” Killua says looking at me before his father.

Silva then turns his attention to me. He eyes me for a moment before stating, “I don’t appreciate you being friends with my son if you are a spider.”

Killua then turns to me with shock on his face but doesn’t say anything as Silva continues, “Do you remember me? I was there one time and killed one of the spiders, one of your comrades. Chrollo was surely pissed. He did his best to make sure you were hidden though. Not very well if I remember your aura.”

“I am sorry Sir. I do not remember but I will take your word for it. As for the Troupe. I am no longer with them. They all think I am dead, and I intend for it to stay that way,” I say leaving a brief explanation.

This however satisfies him as he senses that it is the truth. “Hm, I believe you. Go wait in the hall please while I chat with Killua for a moment,” He says.

I nod and leave the room feeling Killua’s stare on me the whole time. When he comes out of the room he is in different clothing, a black sweater, purple pants, and has a backpack on. “Ready?” He asks though I can feel his questions wanting to be answered.

I nod and we walk down the hall towards the exit but are met with his mother and brother, “Killua, it is too late, return to your cell. Those three left.”

“No. I’m leaving,” Killua states.

She goes to touch him, but I have her wrist in a hard grip and Killua is giving her a deadly glare. “(Name)… Kil… Your eyes are so cold right now…” She seems happy about that.

We leave while she goes to speak to her husband. We make it upstairs and are met with a butler. “We have been waiting for you Master Killua-sama and (Name)-sama. Canary is bringing Gon here as we speak so please wait inside.”

“Gotoh, let me know the second Gon gets here. (Name) and I shall be waiting in the game room,” Killua states.

Gotoh nods and bows. “Yes, Sir.”

Killua then leads me to the game room on one of the top floors. He sighs as he lays down on a bean bag chair. I sit with him and he stares at me as he finally asks, “You are a Phantom Troupe Member?”

“No. You heard me. I was,” I say softly not ready to speak about this to a kid.

Killua says, “Please clarify.”

“I told you I was born in Meteor City, right? Well, that is where the Phantom Troup was founded. I am one of the founding members. However, I faked my death fourteen years ago to escape the Phantom Troupe. I don’t want to say more but I will if I have to,” I mutter out.

Killua is in shock as he starts to piece things together, “That explains why you’re a monster! No offense, I mean with your strength but do you know Kurapika is planning on getting revenge on all of the Phantom Troupe because they killed the whole Kurta Clan five years ago for their eyes and he’s the only survivor?”

This is news to me. “Are you serious? I did not know that but maybe he will understand since I was not with them then… Please keep this a secret between you and me?”

Killua thinks for a moment. “Of course. I trust you.”

I smile and thank him. We both soon get impatient and head out for the Butler’s office where Gotoh said Gon would be soon. When we enter it Killua questions, “Gotoh is Gon here yet?”

“Killua!” Gon says excitedly.

I smile at their reunion. “Why are we just afterthoughts?” Leorio mopes.

“You aren’t with me!”

“Oh yeah! (Name), your face is a wreck too!” Gon smiles. Killua, Gon, and I are the only ones who have wrecked faces.

~*~

Once we are back on the train, Gon reveals to us his new goal. “I’ll return the tag to Hisoka from the exam and punch him in the face. Until then I won’t use my Hunter License!”

“Do you even know where he is?” Killua deadpans.

I laugh when Gon makes a face of confusion before it turns into shock and Kurapika saves his life by saying, “I know where he will be.”

“Ah, that’s what he said to you during the exam!” Leorio exclaims.

Kurapika frowns. “No. It was after.”

“It’s still relevant, though right? I’ve been itching to ask what he said,” Leorio admits.

My heart freezes for a second when Kurapika answers honestly, “He said regarding the Spider. I do not recall mentioning the Phantom Troupe to Hisoka. So, either he overheard our conversation during the first stage, or he heard about it from another. The spider is the Phantom Troupe’s symbol, so those familiar with the organization refer to the Troupe as such.”

I am so thankful Killua promised not to say anything. I have no clue how Kurapika will react to hearing that I was a part of it. Kurapika continues, “I was interested in his information. After the orientation, I asked him about it. He said he’ll wait for me in Yorknew City on September 1st.”

“Then you still have over half a year till then. That is when they will hold the world’s largest auction,” I say softly.

Kurapika nods. “Correct. From September 1st through September 10th, there will be an auction for unusual items, rare goods, and national treasures from around the world. The Troupe will be there. They would not let this slip past them. On that day, Hisoka will be somewhere in Yorknew City.”

I sigh not liking that idea but nod. Once the train ride is over Kurapika speaks up, “This is where I leave. We found Killua so I am finished here. I will need money to participate in the auction. I’ll be searching for a patron to employ me as a hunter.”

“I guess I’ll go back home too. I have not given up on my dream to become a doctor. I’ll have to go back and start cramming now that I can use my license for money.” Leorio states.

We nod and before they leave to get on an airship, we all speak together, “We’ll meet up again in Yorknew City on September 1st.”

I sigh when they leave and Killua looks up at me. “What are you going to do (Name)?” He asks.

Gon smiles. “Yeah! You can stay with us if you have nothing to do!”

“Well, I guess I could. I suppose I need to get some money too and since you are itching to fight Hisoka, I know a great place to train and earn money,” I say thinking about it.

I have nothing to go back to. My goal is to look for Ging but I have absolutely no leads. The only thing I have is Gon, my flesh and blood, and of course Killua who admits he sees me as a second mom.

I sigh as look at them showing my vulnerability for the first time. “I have no family to go back to or a home…. Is it all right if I can call you guys my family?”

Gon smiles and becomes excited, “Of course (Name)!”

“Idiot, what kind of question is that. Of course, you can,” Killua mutters as he turns so, we can’t see his blush.

I smile and Killua asks, “That place you mentioned. By any chance is it Heaven’s Arena?”

I nod and he nods his head. “Okay, that is actually a perfect place as you said. Gon has a huge gap between him and Hanzo between strength and his gap between Hisoka is even bigger. Then there is you (Name). We can’t beat you until we’re probably old. So, we need to train. You could possibly train us but I don’t think you’ll do an excellent job because you will go easy on us, so Heaven’s Arena is perfect in that sense. We can find out what we need to work on, train, and get money at the same time,” Killua explains.

We turn to Gon for a final input and he smiles widely.

“Let’s go to Heaven’s Arena!”


	8. Heaven's Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heaven's Arena is here! Hisoka plays multiple stupid moves.

“You said you knew this place. Why are you so anxious then?” Killua questions as we wait in line to sign papers.

I smile at how observant he is. “I said knew. That does not mean I have been here. I know plenty of people who used to love to come here and compete. Heard a bunch of great things… Did not realize it would be extremely packed,” I murmur.

Killua rolls his eyes as we finally sign the papers. He explains the rules to us with ease and they make sense for the most part. “If you plan on waiting for us and going easy do not do that until the 200th floor. Okay? We don’t want you to be practicing and getting nothing out of it.”

I smile at being bossed around by a kid. I will do it though. I will just wait for them as soon as I get to the 200th floor. It sounds like this will be a piece of cake for me but for them? A tremendous learning experience and a chance to grow.

“Alright. Killua Zoldyck-sama, you are 2054. Gon Freecss-sama, you are 2055. (Name)-sama, you are 2056. They will call your number on the first floor of the area. Please remember it. Go on ahead,” The receptionist says.

“I’ve been here when I was six without a penny and my father said I could not come back home when I reached the 200th floor. I stayed here for two years,” Killua explains as he states it has been a while once we sit down.

I smile as I look at the multiple rings and contestants. I tell them, “You guys can’t hold back either.”

They nod with determination as my number is called. This is probably where we will part ways temporarily. I sigh since no weapons are allowed so I can’t use my Nen knives, but I can still use Nen. I enter the ring to see a man who is extremely buff and is definitely more brawns than brains.

“What?! I do not want to fight a little girl! She’ll get killed!” The man complains.

I stare at him with deadly eyes and the referee ignores him telling us to begin. I sigh as the man can’t move a muscle since I have control of him. Once I see the fear in his eye, I make him use his hand and punch his own face with all the brute strength he has.

It makes him go unconscious and fly out of the ring. I have won the match under thirty seconds. People who were watching my fight are shocked and the referee quickly types something into his technology that determines what level we go up to.

“That was your first match, you used Nen, and the performance was remarkable. You hid your Nen well. I admit I was confused for a second. Let us see with this information you are automatically put on the 200th floor,” The referee states.

“Ah… Yay…” I mumble. I mean I’m happy, but this is ridiculous. I am not going to get any practice. What about my money too?

The man nervously chuckles and says, “Please head to the elevator.”

I bite my tongue and do as I am told. I head to the elevator and sigh. I had better get a shit ton of money for making it that fast. I go to a receptionist by the elevator and ask if I do get money.

Thankfully, she smiles giving me a sigh of relief, “Yes. You get all the money people normally when going through each fight since it is your first time being here with us! A small bonus is added since our referees suggested you go to the 200th floor. The money has been delivered to your account.”

Awesome! I smile and head to the elevator. The lady immediately takes me to the 200th floor without another word. However, when I get to the top, I notice something off. The halls are dead quiet. I scowl as I start down the hall that leads to the receptionist. I then frown as I realize that’s why Nen is required on the 200th floor. Well not required more like should be required or otherwise you're screwed by assholes who want to show you Nen.

I make my Nen incredibly strong making whoever the fuck it was who was trying to mess with me disappear. Nice. One of the ladies who work here then shows up looking creepy as hell but disappointed.

“(Name), correct? The receptionist’s desk is over here, so please register for a 200s match today. You will not be able to register after midnight, so please be careful. There are about one hundred, seventy-three contestants in the 200s class. And starting at the 200s all weapons are allowed in matches. So please use whatever you have. Also, you will no longer receive any money on these floors only glory so please understand that if you are going to participate,” She then leaves the opposite way to where the desk is.

How fucking odd. Oh well, I literally accomplished the only thing we came here for, money. I will probably not have a lot of fun in any of my matches. I sigh as I am about to step forward only to feel a familiar presence.

I groan. “Why the fuck are you here?”

“Your Nen is so deliciously strong. And it is not so odd for me to be here. I love fighting and this is a temple to fighting. I would ask why you are here, but I know that the other two are here. This is no coincidence. Next time don’t let a little kid order your airship ticket unless you don’t want it to be a secret,” Hisoka states.

I sigh and ignore the man going to the receptionist’s desk. I go down the hall and am met with a preppy worker, “Welcome to the 200s! Please fill out these forms here. Would you like to register for a match now? In this class, there is a self-service system by which you are permitted ninety days of preparation. Of course, you can fight every day and once you have participated in a fight, you have another ninety days to prepare. -“

She keeps babbling and eventually gets proud of something with the Floor Masters. I ignore her as I fill out the paperwork. I hand it to her cutting her off and state, “I’ll come back to sign up for a match before my ninety days are up. Is that all right?”

She nods pissed that I ignore her but gives me my room key, “You’ll be staying in room 2220.”

I thank her and leave for my room knowing I am being watched. As I turn to go down a hall, I run into Hisoka who gives me a creepy smile as his eye twitches, “You know you shouldn’t ignore people who are talking to you.”

I ignore him once again and continue down the hall until I reach my room. Hisoka is beyond irritated with me and I open my door to my room and move to the side. “If you want to talk to me, talk in here. I’m fucking tired and grumpy since there is no point in being here right now,” I grumble.

Hisoka smiles a fake one but goes into my room. I close the door behind me and lock it. I toss my keys onto the bed and smile when looking at the room. I can at least relax in a nice place. I sit down on the bed crossing my legs and looking up at the man.

“Why do you want to talk to me? We have no business, but you have business with Gon,” I state.

Hisoka sighs and sits on a chair in my room leaning his feet on the table, “I just wanted to chat with my little toy. Especially since I’ll be able to have a little fun with you for quite a while.”

Ha... I hate him.

~*~

Eight peaceful days, that consisted of mostly naps, later I get extremely excited when I feel Gon and Killua’s presence in the elevator heading up to this floor. Sadly, I have gotten used to Hisoka bothering me greatly, however, I also grew quite fond of him and the feeling is mutual, or that is what I hope.

“You sensed them too?” Hisoka asks already appearing to be waiting for them.

I smile and nod as we wait in the hall. I know full well they don’t know any Nen and knowing Hisoka and how he wants Gon to be his prey when he’s grown up, he’ll do something to them. I can feel them get cautious from feeling the auras on this floor. When we see them the lady that had greeted me, greets them but is cut off by Hisoka.

“H-Hisoka. Why are you here?” Killua asks.

They cannot see me since I am behind Hisoka and I scowl annoyed since Hisoka is going to give them the same speech he tried to give me. “It’s hardly that strange. I love to fight, and this is a temple to fighting. And why are you here? Just kidding… This was no coincidence. I have been waiting for you. Remember how you ordered airship tickets over the cyber net? With a little effort, it is possible to determine when and where someone will arrive,” He says pausing for dramatic effect.

I scoff. He is a fucking stalker is what he just said. He continues, “Well, I knew you would come here eventually. And so, as a veteran, I have a warning for you. It’s still too early for you boys to step on this floor.”

Hisoka uses his Nen to make the boys go further back in the hall. “How early depends on you. Leave for now. It’s too early now.”

He moves to reveal me and I sigh as I sit by the wall beside Hisoka. “That’s stupid! (Name) what about you!” Killua shouts.

I sigh. “I agree with the clown. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Before they can try and walk past his Nen another man appears, “Stop! Leave right now. If you continue, you’ll kill your body.”

“Wing-san!” Gon exclaims.

Who is that?

“Retreat. I’ll teach you the truth about Nen,” Wing says.

“We have to register before midnight. If we retreat now will we be able to return before midnight?” Killua asks.

I smile as Wing says, “That depends on you.”

They now have the proper determination and they leave glancing back at me. I give them thumbs up as I turn to look at Hisoka who is just smirking like a creep. “I wonder if they can make it.”

I shake my head at him and lean on his shoulder. It feels natural since we’ve been hanging out these past few days. He slings an arm around me to make himself more comfortable as well. By the time we feel them come back, we can sense that they have changed. I can see their Nen on their bodies.

Hisoka does not dare hold back as he uses his deadly Nen on them and they pass through it easily. “Welcome to the 200s. It appears I do not need to give you the traditional gift. I know why you are here. You intended to train before challenging me… However, to be honest I feel no urge to fight you. But, if you win one match in the 200s I will accept your challenge,” Hisoka states.

Gon nods while Killua just stares at him before making a look at disgust at me, “(Name)! Why do you seem cozy with him? It’s making me feel nauseous!”

I laugh as I feel Hisoka grow irritated. I get up and hug the two. “I missed you when you were gone. However, I am tired. My room is in 2220. Come by later or whenever.”

I wave by and start heading to my room and see Hisoka waiting for me by the end of the hall. “You’re not going to tell them?” He asks as we walk to my room.

“Nah. I’ll tell them when they ask. Are you sure you’ll let me stay with you when my time’s up?” I ask frowning.

Hisoka chuckles. “Why wouldn’t I? I don’t want to lose my favorite toy.”

I give him the middle finger and bid him goodnight.

~*~

I wake up to pounding on my door. I groan and get out of bed probably looking like a monster, but I do not care. I answer the door to see Killua. “Whoa…. You okay (Name)?”

“Don’t even dare talk about my appearance. I just woke up brat. Anyway, what’s up?” I ask.

Killua smirks. “Gon signed up for his first match today. Are you going to watch?”

“Nope. I am staying here. I know how it is going to go since you guys just learned Nen. I can’t go unless I want to get angry,” I state being completely serious.

This surprises Killua but he nods and leaves.

~*~

Pissed is an understatement right now. I ended up watching the match on the tv in my room. Oh, how I hate that Gido guy. This is why I could never train them. I do not know how to go easy on people. It is difficult for me and if I ever hurt Killua or Gon on purpose I would die.

I groan as I go down the hall positive that Gon is there now healing. It has been hours since the match ended. I knock on the door unable to hide my anger with the force of the knock. The door opens immediately showing Killua and he pales even more since he is like a vampire and sweat drops.

“Gon you have an angry visitor,” He says closing the door after me.

Gon looks up to see me and he frowns, “Hi (Name)…. Why exactly are you angry?”

“Just a mother’s instinct. I’m pissed seeing how bad a kid got hurt,” I grumble out.

Killua looks confused and he asks, “Is that how mothers are supposed to feel?”

“Ah, not in your case. Not assassin mothers, I guess. After all, Mito-san would be just as mad as (Name) if she saw me get hurt! But (Name), you are funny! You do act like our mom!” Gon laughs.

I scowl and Killua nods. “Yeah, I even admitted to my mom Gon that (Name) felt like a mom to me and she got mad!”

“Well, it’s official then! (Name)! You’re our second mom since you act like it so much!” Gon laughs and that makes me calm down. A lot.

I smile and let out a giggle. “I can live with that… Who is Mito-san though?” She sounds familiar.

“Oh, she’s my Aunt! Well, cousin, but I call her Aunt! However, she feels like my mom! You know about my dad and how he left to be a hunter. Well, she took the parent responsibility and she has taken care of me ever since I was little along with our grandma! I wouldn’t want anyone to replace her since she’s taken care of me,” He says happily.

My heart hurts. A lot. It feels like it broke but I am also so grateful to her. I smile. “I see. I hope I can meet her one day! Oh, I came here to tell you something. I decided to let my ninety days run out and when that happens, I’ll be staying Hisoka’s room until you guys want to leave.”

This news makes Gon go into a mini coma as Killua turns into a statue with his jaw to the floor. I giggle like a little girl and use my girly charms to say goodbye before they react.

~*~

I let out a deep sigh as I wait patiently besides Killua, Wing, and Zushi for the match to start. It has been thirty-seven days since Gon has been injured and he still has to keep up his promise with Wing-San. Shortly after Gon was injured, Killua had me meet Wing and we got along well. He is extremely impressed with my Nen since I can beat him, but he’s upset at my murderous intent if I use it against someone.

The match we are about to watch is between Hisoka vs. Kastro. Hisoka did not seem to be concerned about fighting him. He found it amusing. He told me that he beat Kastro before and that he is probably just looking for some revenge. What I do not understand is why Hisoka told me to watch his match closely. I mean yes, he did mean in it in a perverse way but there was a different meaning I did not understand.

So of course, since he said closely, I will be using Gyo. Besides, I will finally learn what type of Nen user he is. I sigh as I feel like I have been too nice to him. He ordered me to go to his room after the fight so he can hear my opinion.

Once they are both on stage, I can already feel the tension. I grab Killua’s arm making him look at me like I am weird before he realizes that I sense something he does not. I keep a close eye on the both of them making sure my Gyo is at full power.

It starts off rather brutal for Hisoka when Kastro lands a clean hit on his face. I immediately see what happens. Kastro is using conjuring to create a doppelganger and manipulation to control it. What I do not understand is why he would do that when he is an enhancer? Those are not compatible at all. It must have taken him forever to learn this technique. I frown as the fight keeps getting intense with Hisoka taking the hits.

Kastro might end up dead if he is not careful since his category is farthest away from the other two, he is using. Hisoka is slowly figuring it out. He is putting it together piece by piece. Kastro threatens to take Hisoka’s arm and Hisoka gladly lets him.

My eyes widen when I realize that his arm is really cut off and Hisoka is perfectly fine with that. He grabs his arm like it is nothing and he is calm as he states his opponent’s power since he figured it out. Hisoka holds his severed arm with his hip and non-injured arm and grabs a scarf before covering his useless arm up.

I watch intently as he performs a magic trick, throwing his scarf up and making his arm disappear and cards come out. I am glad he told me to watch him closely. Using my Gyo I see his Nen. His arm is on the ceiling connected with Nen so it doesn’t fall and as well to the scarf that is his skin tone. I understand what he is going to do.

His aura is mimicking something so that means he is a Transmuter. His tattoo makes a lot more sense now. He smirks as the microphone picks up the conversation I hear him say, “Alright pick a number.”

I see his Nen go and touch his opponent when he points to pick a number and I smile; he really is a tricky bastard. His hand then goes to act as he speaks. “Once you have your number, add four, and double the result. After that, subtract six, and divide by two. Finally, subtract your original number, and what do you have?” He asks.

“I already know your answer,” Hisoka smirks as he digs into his severed arm and pulls out a card before continuing, “The answer is one.”

He throws the card at Kastro getting his clothes bloody. “You can have it.”

Kastro has enough of this and shouts, “I’ll take your other arm!”

Hisoka smiles and offers it to him. Using the distraction of the attack Hisoka reconnects his severed arm so it is back together and lets Kastro take his other arm. “As expected, you attacked with your double. Had you attacked yourself I would have countered with this,” Hisoka states showing off his arm.

Hisoka riles him up and is able to detect which is actually Kastro due to the blood and that was Kastro’s wrongdoing. With one punch after Hisoka’s harsh word, he leaves Kastro stunned and throws cards at him, defeating him.

I sigh getting up and leaving early before the crowd becomes too much. I leave Killua left in shock. He thought for sure Hisoka was the one to lose. I go ahead and go to the floor Hisoka would be on but sense something odd. I quickly conceal all my Nen and make sure no one would be able to sense me. Not even Hisoka.

I let out a gulp as I quickly make my way to his room. I open the door manipulating the lock with my Nen knife before putting it away and re-locking the door. The thing I felt minutes prior was a presence and one I recognized. They are on the floor and with Hisoka.

I hide in Hisoka’s closet that has nothing in it but spare blankets. When the door opens, I can feel Hisoka scanning the room with his eyes along with the other person.

“All right, I’ll sit down for this,” He states sitting down on the table that gives me a view of what will happen.

The person nods and once I can see her my heart stops. It is Machi. One of the original founders of the Phantom Troupe.


	9. The Clown Messes Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heaven's Arena is done with!

The fear I feel amazes me. It is a fear that I would only get if I were to cross Chrollo and it is very valid since Machi is here. I fear her finding me. I will refuse to fight her if she finds me. I still see all of them as family but a family I do not belong in anymore. If she knows I am here, she’ll be shocked and maybe betrayed and of course report to Chrollo.

Machi sighs as she looks at Hisoka holding both of his severed arms. “I was never really certain... but today’s match confirmed it. You are an idiot,” She mutters placing his arms on the table.

“Why do you endanger yourself this way? Was that meant to be a performance?” She asks in a scolding manner even though her voice is dead of emotion.

She does not care for him. If she is here that means she was paid to be here. Hisoka brought her here then knowing fully well what the outcome of his match would be.

He smirks and closes his eyes satisfied. “Who knows?”

“Well, I can’t complain since I’m getting paid,” She states getting her stuff ready.

Her confirmation makes me angry at Hisoka. I watch as she gets what she needs out of her bags. I was always impressed by her Nen abilities and so was the rest of the group. It is fascinating. Once her needles are ready to be used, she speaks, “I’ll try to stop the bleeding first.”

Hisoka warns her, “Try to be gentle.”

“Of course, just put your aura away,” She demands.

Once he does, she is able to stop the bleeding and she nods in approval, “All right, I will start with the left arm. Nen Stitches.”

Saying her power makes it happen. It is a hundred percent connected. Hisoka looks impressed by her skill as she does the right arm and finishes it. “Perhaps I get myself injured so I can watch your magic Nen,” He says in a flattering tone.

Of course, Machi does not buy it nor care, “Right. That will be twenty million for the left arm, fifty million for the right arm. Pay up.”

“I’ll send the money to your account. You know you should provide a better service,” He complains as he looks at his now working arms.

Machi sighs. “You’ll be fine with your Bungee Gum and Texture Surprise.”

I listen to his explanation of his Bungee Gum Nen and see him put a Texture Surprise layer of Nen on to make it look like skin. That is what he did for the tattoo on his back. I sweat drop a bit as Hisoka provides unneeded information about how he named his technique from his favorite chewing gum from when he was a kid and the stickers that came from a snack.

I sigh as Machi explains exactly what he did during the fight impressed because he fooled mostly everyone. I could care less now. I am mad at Hisoka for not telling me she was coming. I close my eyes and focus on concealing my aura as I wait for time to go by faster.

When I hear her pick something up that is when I listen in again. “Okay, I’ll be leaving. Do not overdo it until your arms are firmly attached. Oh right. I came here for a reason. We received new orders. All Troupe members are to be in Yorknew City by noon, August 30th, not just those who find it convenient. This might be our biggest job yet so if you skip this one out the Boss might just come and hunt you down himself.”

She leaves the second after spreading the news. As soon as I no longer sense her presence in the building, I let my aura be revealed making Hisoka look my way. I refuse to come out of the closet. I am petrified just by being near one of them, yet I lived with them for years. They know everything about me or used to as I know them. The thing that terrifies me though the most is the unmatched loyalty they have for Chrollo. If they find out I am alive I might as well be considered dead again.

Hisoka does not say anything as he goes to take a shower. I use this time to slowly go sit on the bed. Nothing feels right at the moment. When he is out of the shower he appears before me in just a towel. He has a smirk plastered on his face hoping to get a reaction out of me.

However, he scowls upon seeing my emotionless face. “You do change entirely when in their presence,” he notes.

I am pissed. I look at him with emotionless eyes and his eyes widen when he feels my aura, “Why was she here? Just to give you the message? Did you know she was coming? You had to since you paid her. Why didn’t you tell me? What the fuck is actually wrong with you?”

His Ten is up once he felt my deadly aura. I quickly calm myself, my Nen disappearing and he relaxes just a little bit. He admits, “I wanted to see your reaction to another Troupe member. I can now see my fatal mistake. I apologize but do not regret it.”

I nod my head ignoring the amusement in his eyes. Nothing can make me angrier than the stunt he pulled. I stand up. “Well I was impressed with the fight, but I saw everything once it happened. I am leaving. I would advise you to steer clear of my path until I am cooled off.”

~*~

It is the end of May and I am letting my ninety days end tonight. So that means, I officially move to Hisoka’s room tonight. He has been walking on eggshells since the day I saw Machi. He has acted normal but made sure not to upset me further.

I sigh as I go to the receptionist’s desk. The same chirpy girl greets me, “Oh today is your last day! Are you going to challenge someone?”

“Nah, I am afraid I won’t be doing that. I came to return my room key,” I state handing the key.

She nods. “Bummer but it was great to have you with us. Thank you for being a contestant!”

With that, I leave the desk and go to Hisoka’s room who seems to be already expecting me. He opens the door for me and as soon as I come in, I clock him right in the face. That simple violent act was all I need to forgive this clown for the stunt he pulled. He is taken back from my action before he smirks and I can sense his arousal.

“What was that for?” Hisoka asks closing the door for me.

I glance at my now bruised hand and shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know I just kind of felt like hitting you. So, control your hormones man. Oh, also stop being a pervert and being aroused by my son you creep. Next time you are I will murder you,” I promise as I go to lay on his bed.

“Oh? Are we sharing the bed? Speaking of Gon, I just now realized motherly you are to those two and if you want a proper redo, we can create a baby,” Hisoka says huskily laying on the bed beside me.

My Nen goes up and deadly automatically making him chuckle but his arousal stronger. “I was kidding.”

I do not let my Nen waver until he gets serious. When I feel his serious atmosphere, I let my Nen down and wait for the question. “I never understood why they called you the heart of the spider. Or why you would leave them?” Hisoka finally mutters wanting to get answers to these questions.

“I will only answer the first part. They called me that because they all wanted to protect me because I loved and cared for them deeply. I still do. I was probably the only one who was somewhat normally in tune with their emotions. They wanted to make sure I was never by myself much like Chrollo. They deemed me the leader as well since I was practically inseparable from Chrollo. I was one of the reasons why the Phantom Troupe was created,” I answer honestly.

He nods allowing that information to seep in before he allows silence to befall us. I know he will not forget his other question.

~*~

Now mid-June, I am attending the kids' training lesson due to the request of their mentor. It is good stuff. All great learning material but I am bored out of my mind. I twitch my eye when I feel Wing’s irritation and I glare at him as I say, “I am sorry! I just do not understand why I am here.”

He sighs. “Well, I am just teaching Hatsu this time. A simple lesson. Do you want to tell them the six different categories then?”

I nod and stand up. He then sighs and the three boys look at me saying “Osu!” I smile. They really have come far with Nen. I am impressed. “Enhancers are able to strengthen objects. Emitters can propel their aura. Transmuters can alter their aura’s qualities. Conjurers are able to manifest their aura. Manipulators can use their aura to control objects and creatures. Specialists are those with a special aura that does not fall into the other five classes,” I state.

They nod and Wing-san takes it from there. I let out a sigh as I lay back down on the couch. He gives a lecture on all six categories. To figure out the boys’ technique he uses a Shingen-ryu technique, the Water Divination Test, to classify the aura. It is a simple trick involving water and a leaf.

I look up and watch as Gon goes first after Wing’s example to which he reveals he is an Enhancer like Wing. Zushi moves the leaf which makes him a Manipulator. When Killua goes he claims nothing happened which means if the water changed flavor, he is a Transmuter.

I nod in approval to all classification for each boy. The three then turn to me, “What about you?”

“I am a manipulator,” I state.

Wing glances at the cup giving me a silent order and I sigh deciding to amuse the man. I place both hands near each side of the cup and use my aura. The leaf moves which means I am a Manipulator. Just as I am about to move my hands something else happens which makes me confused.

The leaf just crumpled. Wing looks surprised just as I am. I look up and say, “Okay that is new.”

“You are a specialist as well it seems. That can sometimes happen to Manipulators and Conjurers later in their life,” He states.

I nod… Before I realize something. I murmur, “Hey, I just realized something Wing. I have this ability that when I make a promise and touch someone else, I know when they break it. I always thought it was a Manipulator ability but now I am hesitant.”

“Yes, that sounds something like a Manipulator could do but I have never heard of it which is why you probably thought that. You probably thought you were controlling someone when in reality you were making a promise. That could be your Specialist ability so I would say explore in that a bit,” Wing says.

I nod. Well, this is something completely new. I am a Specialist now which means I have more powers I am not aware of.

~*~

I am nervous. It is July 10th now. The day Gon and Hisoka fight. We have been here since March. This fight will determine if we leave Heaven’s Arena if Gon lands a solid punch. I am more worried at the fact that Hisoka is a freaky weird ass clown and he will be with my baby.

I have a murderous aura on after that fact, but I sigh as I look at the match down below. They are ready to go. As soon as it starts Gon wastes no time in trying to get a hit on Hisoka who manages to dodge every attack and hit Gon multiple times.

It is too intense that everyone is silent, even the commentator. Killua and I are too intent on watching the fight to even comment to each other. Gon decides to use the same thing he has been doing his past few matches and lifts a huge ass tile stone and throws it at him breaking it in pieces.

I smile as I realize that would be enough to distract Hisoka. With this Gon hides his Nen and when Hisoka is not looking launches his punch and by the time Hisoka realizes where he is and turns around, he gets punched in the face.

It all happened so fast. “He did it. Oh my god, he did it!” I shake Killua in excitement at this.

Killua is annoyed at this but also shares the same excitement with me. Hisoka then bravely walks up to Gon. I hold my breath until Gon walks up to him as well and hands the tag from the Hunter’s Exam to him. Once the exchange was done, they back up and resume the fight.

Hisoka then gives a speech on how he knows a similar way to figure out a person’s Nen type. He gets all dramatic and points a finger at Gon, but I know better. I grit my teeth as I see him use his Nen on him leaving a Bungee Gum attached to my baby’s face.

“Enhancers are simple and earnest. I am a Transmuter, fickle and dishonest. Emitters have short tempers. Specialists are independent. Conjurers are high-strung and Manipulators are argumentative,” He states.

I whisper to Killua, “He’s not wrong.”

“He nailed it!” Killua whispers back.

I wince when the fight gets faster and intense as soon as Hisoka told Gon not to disappoint him. There is no holding back and Gon does his best to evade all the attacks. I bite my lip when Hisoka gets quite a few good hits on him and it kills me.

Hisoka has enough of his running and makes Gon come to him using his Bungee Gum. I try not to close my eyes when I see the fist has all Hisoka’s power in it come flying into Gon’s face making Gon fly into it as a ridiculous speed.

Hisoka continues to be a pervert fighter that plays dirty which quickly gains him ten points. I am pissed at him but also extremely impressed with Gon for landing a few hits. Hisoka then tells Gon as he leaves that they will not fight here again that way Gon can improve in the outside world.

Killua, Wing, Zushi, and I wait outside for Gon. When he is there Wing gives words of wisdom to the two before we leave Heaven’s Arena. I do not bother telling Hisoka bye since I know we will meet again in the future and if I see him right now, I may explode on him for not going easy on my baby.

This chapter of our lives is done with. I glance at the kids before asking, “Now what? Gon completed his goal and we have money so what are we to do now?”

“Go to Whale’s Island. I did what I had to do I want to go back to the island and show Mito-San my license. (Name) said she would like to meet her. It has been over half a year since I left. What do you say Killua? Will you come with us?” Gon asks.

Killua smiles. “Yeah. I would like to meet her too.”

We have our next destination, but I am nervous to meet Mito.


	10. The Past is Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We make it to Whale's island and find out more about why Reader wasn't present in Gon's life! 
> 
> Then we are headed to YorkNew and Reader sees someone from her past.

Once we make it to Gon’s home island, he gets extremely excited as I get nervous. Gon tries to get us to race up the hill to where he lives but Killua and I stay back a bit. I can hear him happily greet Mito and she sounds so happy to have him back.

I smile when I see her. She looks up after hugging Gon. “Oh, you must be (Name) and Killua, right?” She asks smiling.

She invites us all in and quickly hurries to make tea as she scolds Gon, “Honestly, you should have told me you were coming!”

She once again hurries to start to make dinner while making Killua and Gon take a bath and letting me borrow her bathroom and her clothes. Once we are done with our baths, we eat. I help Mito and her grandmother around the house as Killua and Gon go out to explore.

Hours go by and the grandmother smiles and says, “They probably won’t be back till late.”

“Probably. I should go bring them food though. Do you want to come?” Mito looks at me and I smile.

We quickly make food and we are on our way to where Mito thinks he will be. “I know he’ll be there because sometimes his father would go there to look up at the stars. This of course was only when he didn’t mind being found by me when we were little,” She shares.

This information warms my heart. Just being here warms my heart but I am in slight shock. I want to imagine meeting them differently. I wish I were meeting Mito and her grandmother the way Ging wanted me to meet them. It feels so odd that I am here without him.

When we get near the spot, we do not interrupt them when we hear them talk. Killua seems happy as he speaks, “Okay! It is settled! I will help you find your dad until I discover what I want to do! Oh… what’s your mom doing?”

“It’s hard asking about my dad but harder asking about my mom since Mito raised me by herself, it would feel wrong to ask her that… At first, Aunt Mito told me my parents died in a traffic accident since she was afraid, I would end up like my dad if I found out that he was alive and a hunter,” Gon states.

Killua nods. “She was right about that.”

“When I found out my dad was alive I kind of figured that my mom was probably dead,” Gon admits.

This information breaks my heart and Killua admits that is kind of rough, but he understands Gon. “So, I always thought of Mito as my mom. She’s the only mom I need!” He states.

I feel empty but I understand it. Even though things turned out this way I am grateful for her raising him in my place. Killua groans. “I wish I had a mom like Mito! Though we do have (Name)!”

Then they start talking about me about how grateful they are to have me, and they talk about Killua’s family. I pat Mito on the shoulder and beckon her to head back and she nods. I let out a soft sigh now sad that I will never be Gon’s true mother in his eyes.

Once the boys return to the house, Killua is in Gon’s room and I am given a guest room. As I bid Mito and her grandmother goodnight, I hide my presence as soon as I hear them mention Ging’s name. I stay close to the door as I listen my heart starts to swell once Mito tells Gon everything she knows about Ging, giving him a box, and even telling him what Ging was like as a child.

It is obvious she loved her cousin very much. Once Gon goes to his room I enter the kitchen needing to be comforted. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head it is ridiculous. All of them about Ging and putting myself down.

When I enter the kitchen, I see that Mito’s grandmother had gone to bed and it is just her. I don’t know what it is, but she just calms and soothes me to no ends. Ging always said I would like her. She looks up at me surprised to see me awake.

“Are you all right?” Mito asks with a worried expression.

I nod my head as I reach for a picture of Ging. “I am fine. I just…. Wished to talk to you.”

Mito nods staring at me confused since I grabbed a picture of her family member. I sigh as I sit down across from her and hold the picture gently of a young adult Ging. I let out a soft sigh and murmur, “So before anything, do you think we can keep this conversation between us? The boys don’t know that I know Ging.”

“Of course, but who exactly are you?” Mito asks warily.

I give her a sad smile and admit it. “I am (Name). The birth mother of Gon. I would not have told you this, but you see I trust you and Gon sees you as his real mother, so I want you to at least know the truth. I am thankful that you have taken care of Gon all these years.”

Her expression is one of shock and she cannot seem to comprehend what I just said. I look down at the picture of Ging once more and sigh. “I’ll give you an explanation. Maybe it will help you to forgive me. Let us see I’ll just start when I found out I was first pregnant.”

~*~

_I stare lovingly at this man who has shown me a brand-new light in my life. He has shown me a true meaning and made me want to find a better purpose in life. Which he did. I stare at the sleeping man beside me. His face is buried in my stomach. It is like he knows I am pregnant but that’s impossible because I just found out myself._

_“Ging… Wake up,” I say softly as I play with his hair._

_He groans irritated but looks up at me with a sleepy face. “What woman?”_

_I chuckle. I should know better than to wake up this child-like man from his slumber, but I wish to tell him now. “Ging… I need to tell you something important,” I hesitantly said._

_This catches his attention and he sits up in an instant now awake. A concerned look is etched onto his features, “Are you okay? You are not thinking about going back to the Troupe, are you? You know how self-destructive it is for you.”_

_“I am aware and no. I told you I was going to stick with you now. Remember? I would not change my mind. Either way, it is something important and something we need to discuss,” I say looking down at my hands with a smile._

_I am grateful he cares for me. He grabs for my hands and urges me to speak with his kind eyes. I do, “How do you feel about settling down in a few months?”_

_“Why?” Ging asks tilting his head with a scowl on his face since he is not the type to do that._

_I laugh and smile and grab his hands placing it on my belly, “I am pregnant.”_

_It was dead silent. I look at Ging and thought he would be passed out or reject the idea but as soon as I looked in his eyes, I understood what love was. True love. It was nothing I have ever felt before but, at that moment, I understood it completely._

_He is content. There is a genuine smile on his face as he asks, “Really?”_

_I nod and his smile widens as he kisses me hard for a few seconds. “I would love to settle down for a few months then.”_

_~*~_

“Of course, Mito. You know Ging. It is impossible for him to stay in one place for too long. However, he did that for me. We stayed on an island far from here and the initial thought was to come here to Whale island as a family so I can meet you,” I say softly my hands now in my lap as I look at Mito.

She is close to tears already knowing that this story does not have a happy ending. She offers her hand to which I gladly take it and she beckons me to continue.

~*~

_The day was coming near for Gon’s due date however, it was not good at all. I have fallen weak. I have caught some sort of sickness of the island or I was too stressed out. It made me physically sick and I could not even stand or eat anymore._

_Ging was getting worried. It bothered him to no ends that I was pregnant and sick, and it did not look like it was going to get better. I knew the worse was going to happen, so I told the doctor at the island who was caring for me to make the baby lives no matter what Ging says._

_A bit silly since I have not had the chance at a decent life, but this child is a product of love. It is Ging’s. That is all I need to know to know that this child will be blessed in life and that I want him or her to have what I could not, a chance of growing up normal and loved._

_Ging loved me deeply and no one wants to choose the mother or the baby to live. I knew it was only going to be one of us, so I chose for him. I made sure the baby was going to be picked even if Ging did not want that._

_Soon enough, the baby came two weeks earlier than expected. I was in so much pain, screaming and crying until my throat bled. Gon would not come out. Ging tried to reason with the doctor to get the damn baby out of me no matter what but the doctor knew the risks. Gon had to come out naturally._

_It was too late to do a C-section. The doctor promised me he would make sure the baby lived so that is what he did. Once Gon came out I was on my deathbed. It was my fault for being stressed out and sick that I would be dying. Even as I was dying and Ging protested that I held the baby and to get me help; I refused._

_I held Gon as my life depended on it and it did. I fell in love with him at first sight. He was the product of Ging and I. The man I loved and I created an angel. Eventually, the doctor came and took Gon away leaving Ging to give me last words since the doctor said I did not have much time left._

_“I can’t take care of him on my own,” Ging states trying his best not to cry._

_I smile at him as his hand comes up to cup my cheek. I use all my strength to hold his hand, “I believe in you.”_

_“I love you (Name).” Was the last thing I heard Ging say._

~*~

I sigh as I hold Mito’s hands tightly with my own.

“I was pronounced dead for a full day. The next time I woke up I was all cleaned up and still in the hospital bed. Nobody told me a single thing until months later when I found out a young girl saved my life. She was able to revive my dead body, but I found out I have been unconscious for a whole year.”

“It was too late then. Ging came here with Gon when he was two and left,” Mito says now understanding everything.

I nod my head. “I had no idea how to get here if I should even try since I felt as if I had lost everything, or how to contact him. I did not have a home to go to. I moved from that island to one that had only a few people on and they were rather odd people. I stayed at that island for eleven years… That was when I decided I should take the Hunter Exam. Ging had told me he took it at age twelve and I had a silly wish that Gon would. It turned out not to be too silly since I found Gon there and that was when I realized fate wanted me to be with him.”

It turns quiet for a moment as Mito gathers her thoughts. She finally says, “Now that I understand your story all I can say is there is nothing to forgive. Of course, I am pissed Ging for leaving Gon with me like that, but I do not regret it. I am grateful to have Gon in my life but (Name)… You should tell him the truth soon. What we heard him say with Killua? He will not react negatively. He harbors no bad emotions. He will love and accept you (Name). I promise I will not say anything since you should be the one to tell him. (Name)… you’ll always have family here.”

I thank her, feeling quite emotional but refuse to cry in front of her. Instead, I hug her and speak softly, “Thank you so much Mito. For everything. I know that you will always be Gon’s true mother for raising him. I am afraid I will not tell him until I am forced to, but we have a similar goal in mind. To find Ging so that perhaps might happen in the future.”

With that, we end up talking for quite a while, but I am so happy she likes me and understands what happened. I can sleep easy for now.

The next morning, I hold a box delicately in my hand after the boys asked that I open it for them. Killua tries to use blunt force to open it. “Use your Nen,” I state after I examine it.

I hand it back to Gon and lay on his bed. They want me to be here since they think it’s a clue to find Ging. I listen to them as the box breaks opened now that Gon has used Nen. Gon uses his card now to open a box that was concealed in the small box.

“Oh, it’s a ring, a cassette tape, and a memory card,” Gon says.

I sit up as Gon gets a stereo ready to listen to the cassette tape. We listen intently once the play button is pushed. Ging’s voice rings out making my heart flutter from hearing his voice.

“Yo, Gon… So, you became a Hunter, too. Anyway, I have a question for you. Do you want to see me?”

I am a little peeved at Ging but of course, it is understandable since of his personality. He sounds like he is taunting Gon since Ging knows that his son would want to see him. I sigh as I watch Gon’s face for any certain emotion. He does not show any except for true curiosity.

The tape continues. “If you do, keep on listening. If you don’t, press the stop button. I’m guessing that’s a ‘yes’. I will ask you once more. Are you prepared? Hunters are selfish creatures. They are willing to sacrifice anything to get what they want. If you’re only slightly interested in seeing me, you should stop the tape now. I’ll give you a minute to consider it.”

He sounds so different from what I remember. He really does sound greedy. I mean I knew that from the start, but it sounds different when you see how Gon wants to meet him. It makes me a bit sad. I sigh as Gon smiles.

He is ready to hear more. “I guess you really do want to see me. But I do not want to see you. I do not know how I could face you now. After all, I chose my own desires over my parental duty. I am a bad person. I am guessing when you hear this tape at least ten years would have passed. But one thing still has not changed. I am still me. As you listen to this tape, I am off doing reckless things.”

I look at Gon and Killua to see them staring at the stereo as if they can see Ging saying these things. “But as I said before, I don’t want to see you. If I sense you nearby, I will make myself scarce. Catch me if you can. You are a Hunter, aren’t you?” The tape goes silent and Killua smiles.

“Your dad is going to be hard to catch,” He states.

I smile until I hear Ging speak once more, “Oh, I forgot to mention something… It is about your mother. If you want to know more, keep listening. If you’re not interest-“

My heart breaks when Gon presses the stop button. Killua questions Gon, “Are you sure?”

“Yup. I doubt he left a clue and besides! I said that Mito is my mom! (Name) is my second mom!” Gon looks at me with a bright smile.

It freaking hurts badly as I force myself to return the smile. Once he finds out I am his real mother he will hate me. That is the initial thought, but Mito’s words resonate in my head. He holds no grudges nor bad emotions. That eases me a bit, but the irrational thoughts still linger. I sigh as I sense the tape rewinding freaking them out. “I see. Your father must have put Nen in this over ten years ago so if you stopped it or hesitated in seeing him, you would not get a second chance,” I say faintly.

They still try to stop it which is in vain. Once they realize it has been wiped Gon smiles and points at the box, “Well we still have two other clues.”

Killua goes to buy a game console when he realizes the memory card is for a game. He comes back rather fast and we put the card in the console. The game is called Greed Island. “I’ll copy the data, but I doubt it’ll do any good,” Killua states.

I frown. It sounds familiar. “It’s a hunting game for Hunters,” I say softly. The two look at me as they search it up online to confirm this.

“EHHHH?!?! It costs 8 million Jenny?!” Killua questions.

They are quick to try to find anyone who is selling it for less or if there are any leads but come up with none. Killua decides to call his brother “Piggy” also known as Malluki and bribes him with a copy of the data for two leads. One of the leads is a Hunter website and the second lead is the auction in Yorknew. I scowl. We will inevitably be going there.

The three of us end up discussing when we should leave. “Well we still have two months left but it wouldn’t hurt to be there early. I say we leave tomorrow,” Killua says.

I nod and Gon agrees. So, it is settled. We will leave Whale Island to go to Yorknew.

By the time it is dinner all three of us head downstairs only to be surprised. Mito made a feast. “Is something happening?” Gon asks surprised at the food.

Mito smiles with a sad but proud look on her face. “You’re leaving, right? Who knows when you will eat next? Fill up now.”

The next morning, we are on a ship leaving Whale’s Island. I wave goodbye to Mito as Gon tells them he will not come back until he sees Ging. If only I knew how long we would be on that stupid boat.

~*~

“Look there’s Yorknew! We’ll be meeting Leoreo and Kurapika!” Gon says excitedly.

We are on the mast of the ship and we are getting closer to land. Killua says, “Don’t get too excited. We still have two weeks left before we are supposed to meet.”

“Right, it’s been six months since we saw them! I’m excited!” Gon states.

I smile as Killua does as well. “Six months ago, I would never have dreamed that we would come to Yorknew for a reason like this. Thank you (Name), Gon, for coming to my home for me.”

He does not say anymore as he appears to be thinking about how amazing it is. To be with people he can call friends and family without having to worry about his bloodline of assassins. It makes my heart warm-up that I was able to help him feel like that. That he and Gon still are happy to have me around.

“No problem, Kid. Now we need to get focused. The auction starts on September 1st. We’ll have to get enough information and money beforehand,” I state making them nod their head in understanding.

Just as I finished saying that a bird comes by and lands on Killua’s arm, which has the link for the Hunter website. That will be the first thing we look at when we get to land. When we do, we hurry to a Net Café. I stand beside a sitting Gon with Killua on the other side of him and he hurries to the website.

“I’ve heard that Hunters worldwide post information here,” Killua states.

Gon hurries and swipes his card so we can go into the website. Once we’re in, he clicks on Game categories, but the information will cost 20 million jenny. I send money to Gon’s account and he deposits the money.

I am a bit surprised when the three of us are transferred into the site by our Nen and a coded bartender gives us the information. “Information on Greed Island. Greed Island is a game created by Nen practitioners. Apparently, there were multiple creators, but no one knows their objective. They put Nen into all hundred copies of the game. When you start the game the Nen activates pulling the player inside the game. Only Nen practitioners can play the game and as long as the player stays alive within the game, it will continue to run even if unplugged. It will stop if the player dies. At the Yorknew auction, seven copies of Greed Island will be up for sale. The lowest starting bid is 8.9 billion Jenny.”

We are then transferred back out and I sigh. That is a lot of money.

The two weeks go by rather fast with us coming up with desperate and stupid ways to get money. We end up meeting Leorio in a market when Gon buys a phone. I let out a soft sigh seeing as Killua and I have one, but I just do not use mine. I only use it for emergencies, so I make sure that they have my number and I have theirs.

Leorio is happy to see us and we start walking around the city once we get Gon a phone. Since Leorio has a high belief in money we manage to make him help us. He and I brainstorm until eventually, we come up with the brilliant idea of fooling people into an arm-wrestling match with Gon!

It is late afternoon by the time we have everything set up to earn some money. Killua holds the diamond we got online and Gon sits at a table prepared for arm wrestling. I am in the audience prepared to rile them up and show that Gon ‘can’ beat me. Leorio is the commentator.

“Let’s do this! Here is what is up for the bid. A diamond worth three million Jenny. Comes with the appraisal of the store where I just bought it. Arm wrestling will decide the winning bid. The first person to beat this boy wins the diamond. You must pay a 10 thousand Jenny entry fee. Let’s begin!” Leorio shouts getting the crowd that formed interested.

I quickly form the line and say I would do it first. “Here’s the Jenny.”

I hand him my money and smirk as I sit across Gon. I bow my hand and give him my right hand. We begin and I pretend to struggle for a few good seconds before I let him win. I whine. “Ah, man! That was harder than I thought!”

This makes all the males in the crowd laugh at me and I smirk. There we go. This should go on for quite a few hours. I stay in the crowd getting people's hopes up and eventually nighttime comes and that is when I feel something that makes my blood freeze. The chills in the air make me know something is wrong.

I look around but see nothing. I quickly conceal my presence and try to stay hidden in the crowd. Something is terribly wrong. I feel two auras I have known before and a different one. Suddenly a girl a few feet in front of me offers to go. What makes me uneasy is how I did not even notice her walk through the crowd. I get bad vibes.

“Our second female challenger!” Leorio shouts still being optimistic for the crowd as he takes her money.

I slowly back up not wanting to be here any longer. As I am out of the crowd, I can hear two familiar voices behind me. “Oh, she is using her right hand,” A faint cold voice states.

“Her left hand is the stronger one,” A louder deep voice comments back.

I look at the corner of my eye to see two males, one short the other tall. I did not even see their appearance. I already know who they are. As I am about to sneak off, I hear the fainter voice speak up, “(Name)?”

I have been spotted even when I concealed my presence. I feel fear and strongly right now. I gulp as I allow my Nen to come back and this time with the deadly force behind it. Before I run down the street, I catch sight of Killua’s concerned gaze as he looks at me through the crowd.

I waste no time and get the hell out of there. I run down the street focusing on my speed and go down a few more to be on the safe side. I do not want them anywhere near Leorio, Gon, or Killua. I stop when I am out of breath but am slammed into the wall by Feitan with his hand around my throat.

“I was correct. It is (Name),” Feitan says staring at me with his cold eyes.


	11. Past Love and Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Troupe is back together. Reader is going to have so much fun *sarcasm* :')

“Fei… Feitan… Franklin,” I manage to cough out.

  
Before they say anything, we are interrupted by the girl who challenged Gon. “Why are you guys over here?” She asks staring at me a little puzzled.

  
“Oh, how did it go, Shizuku?” Feitan asks not moving his eyes away from mine.

  
She frowns. “I lost.”

  
“You lost? Oh, but you did use your right hand,” Franklin mutters also not moving his gaze away from my form.

  
“Oh, the boy put out his right hand, so I put out mine. Oops. I would like to challenge him again though. I wanted that diamond too,” Shizuku says softly.

  
Feitan mumbles, “There’d be no point. We are thieves. If we want something, we take it.”

  
“Who is she?” Shizuku finally asks.

  
Feitan’s hold on my neck becomes incredibly tighter. I need to cut off most of my emotions, so I can prepare myself for the horrors that will surely come. Feitan lets an emotion flicker his eyes for a second and oh boy does it make me feel bad. He feels betrayed.

  
“This is (Name). The heart of the Spider,” Feitan states.

  
“Oh…. I thought she died,” Shizuku says fixing her glasses.

  
Feitan scowls under his scarf and Franklin says, “I thought so too.”

  
Feitan suddenly let go of me and I land on my feet barely containing my emotions of pain. I look up and ask, “What do you want?”

  
“What do I want? (Name) I don’t think you understand the situation,” Feitan mumbles irritated with me.

  
He looks at Franklin and Franklin nods. Feitan grips my arm tightly and pulls it directly behind my back in a position that could break it. It would be only the beginning of the torture he is already planning through his head. I remain silent and make sure my Nen is not up, so I do not make him cautious.

  
“Lucky for you we were heading back to the base to get the members for the mission. We will see what Boss does to you there. Now do not make a move or say a word until I say. Understand?” Feitan asks his voice dark.

  
I nod already knowing I am being tested, and I can feel his smirk from behind me. He is impressed. We start walking to the base. It is a rather long walk but I will remember where it is so I can try to escape when I can.

  
When we get to the base, I can feel the others inside. I know I am automatically going to be hated. As soon as we go in there is an almost naïve voice, “What took you so long? Oh, who is that?”

  
This gathers all the troupe members’ attention and they turn to us. I simply stare back completely devoid of emotion. I hear multiple gasps in an instant, all from the founding members that knew me like Machi, Nobunaga, Uvo, and Pakunoda. My gaze simply lays on Chrollo. He looked up for a mere second before returning to his book. The rest of the members are confused.

  
“Boss what are we going to do with her?!” Nobunaga asks surprising everyone.

  
Chrollo does not say a word as a member I do not know speaks up annoyed, “Who the hell is she?”

  
Chrollo slams his book shut and finally stands up, walking over to us. “(Name), I believe you haven’t introduced yourself. Please do so the others are not so confused,” Chrollo speaks with an emotionless smile.

  
I do not say a word making him scowl. I feel Feitan’s pleased aura around me and he speaks up, “Boss I gave her an order not to move or speak until I say so. She has not been foolish to go against it. Do we trust her?”

  
“Of course,” Chrollo states his smile back again.

  
I wince on the inside knowing I will die on his hands if I try anything stupid. I look back at Feitan and he gives a small nod. I sigh as I look around the room, seeing Hisoka is here before I look at the others.

  
“Hello. Nice to meet you. I am (Name), the heart of the Spider.”

  
At this, I can feel surprise all around me from the new members. Hisoka smirks and jumps down from the wall he was using as his solitude. He walks slowly up to me. His voice is border-line teasing as he questions, “Oh? This is the supposed heart? She looks rather vulnerable. Is she a good fighter?”

  
He is going to have fun pretending he doesn’t know me until Paku knows. Machi frowns and answers, “She was the best female fighter we had and she beat most of the males, except for Boss and Feitan.”

  
“Oh? Is she a traitor? If so, can I please test her strengths?” Hisoka asks going in to touch me.

  
Before he could Chrollo speaks up with a dead voice as his eyes hold a little bit of anger that is almost undetectable. “She is not a traitor until we deem her a traitor. Feitan will torture her to get any information if she doesn’t comply with us when they get back.”

  
Hisoka scowls and nods backing off knowing he almost stepped over the line with Chrollo. “Well, it’s nice to meet almost another member. I am Shalnark! The people you do not know are Phinks, Shizuku, Hisoka, Bonolenov, and Kortopi,” Shalnark, a positive boy, says.

  
I nod and offer him a smile before I go back to being emotionless. Chrollo grabs my hand and leads me to where he was originally sitting. “It’s time for your group to leave. We’ll be waiting here with (Name),” Chrollo states.

  
Feitan nods and he leaves with Shalnark, Machi, Nobunaga, Shizuku, Uvogin, and Franklin. Chrollo looks at the others and they nod going into silence but of course keeping caution of me. There are only two real members here that know me and that is Chrollo and Paku. Hisoka is probably having the time of his life seeing me in pain from being here.

  
Once it is complete silence Chrollo sits down pulling my much smaller frame onto his lap. He is holding me as he used to when we were a couple. I scowl at that. He is trying to act like nothing has changed to get to me.

  
It’s a long while before Chrollo speaks and when he does it’s directly in my ear, “Can you explain to me how you’re alive? I mean I have a theory, but I want an explanation.”

  
I do not say anything. I have nothing to say. I know I am going to be tortured anyway since he will want information. His arm goes around my waist as he flips a page in his book, and it goes tight around me. “You know… I still haven’t broken that promise,” Chrollo whispers.

  
This makes me genuinely surprised, but I keep my mouth shut. Paku senses danger from Chrollo towards me and she hesitantly speaks up, “(Name) why won’t you speak?”

  
She still cares for me so that is good.

  
I reply, “I don’t know how to say what I want to say, and I don’t know what I want to say.”

  
She sweat drops at that answer, and it gets quiet again. It is quiet for a long time until someone says something and when they do it is Hisoka, “It’s nine.”

  
He’s looking out the window and Chrollo hums, “Yes. It started.” A few minutes later Chrollo phones ring and he answers the phone with the arm that is not holding me. He frowns as he answers the very loud Uvo on the other side of the phone, “There was no merchandise?”

  
I cannot hear what the guy is saying but I can hear that he is mad. “We don’t have a traitor. Besides, Judas was not a traitor. It is said that Judas sold Jesus out for thirty pieces of silver. But how much a traitor here asks from the mafia? Consider the merits… What would the traitor gain by selling us to the mafia? Money? Glory? Prestige? Do you honestly believe that any of us cares for those things?” Chrollo gives Uvo a minute and with all the information Chrollo provided it is obvious he knows what he is talking about.

  
Chrollo continues finally closing his book, “You see? Besides something is not adding up. Assuming there was a spy, the response was too tepid. If they had foreknowledge that Class-A bounties would appear at the auction, they would have increased security. I believe someone provided information that was not explicit. However, a Mafia community leader believed it.”

  
I sigh as the conversation seemed to drag on. I could care less since I am no longer a thief or a thief with the troupe. Hours later the group finally comes back but Uvo is not with them and they seem to have a hostage. A Shadow Beast named Owl.

  
“You said a Chain User with Nen took Uvo and he’s not a part of the Shadow Beasts?” Chrollo asks.

  
Machi replies, “Yes. Feitan is prepared to torture him to find out where the merchandise is.”

  
I look up at Chrollo our noses touching since he refused to let me leave his lap and I speak, “Since I didn’t listen, I am ready to accept my punishment and have Feitan torture me.”

  
Chrollo stares at me with empty eyes but lets go of me. Some of them are flabbergasted as to why I would voluntarily go but I am doing it only, so I do not have to fight anyone or get killed. Though there is a high chance Feitan’s torture will kill me.

  
I walk behind Feitan, Nobunaga right behind me for safety measures, and we walk down the empty torn up halls to another empty abandoned room. It only takes a few minutes before Owl gives in and dies from Feitan’s torture. Feitan is pissed that he did not get to have any real fun as he hands Machi the small merchandise from Owl.

  
Feitan goes to dispose of the body as I sit in the chair willingly. When he comes back, he smirks. “(Name), I will admit I am fond of you, but I will not go easy on you and it’s not my fault if you die.”

  
I have fucked up majorly. I fucked up so bad that I wish Feitan’s torture would kill me.


	12. The Secret is Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feitan tries to get information out of Reader when something strange happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make sure it is clear but yes I am aware that Gon literally can't hate (until a certain arc anyway) but it is Reader's biggest fear so it clouds her logical side of knowing him which goes on for a few chapters!

I always knew Feitan’s type of torture was different. I just never expected to be this bad now that I am at the end of it. I am not surprised I am still alive, but I am surprised by how much pain and slight regret I am feeling. It does not look like he has done much damage but beat me until I bled into unconscious but no, he inflicted pain in the worst ways possible.

It only got worse when I refused to cry or shout in pain. It was pissing him off since he gets sadistic during torture. However, since I passed out, he left me alone. I believe it has only been a few hours and it feels like it has been weeks being tortured.

That is when something even worse than Feitan’s torture happens. I feel a sharp pain in my heart. It is unbearable. I let out a pure scream of pain as tears come rushing down my face. In seconds, everyone in the Phantom Troupe is in Feitan’s torture room staring at me.

“What happened?” Shalnark asks concerned.

Feitan narrows his eyes. “Whatever it was I didn’t do it. She refused to scream or cry for me.”

I try to clutch my heart, but my hands are tied, they are the only thing that is tied. Hisoka is the first to move and he unties my wrists and once they are free, I clutch the skin where my heart is at and cry more. I fall to the ground in agony.

The pain is a burning sensation in my heart. It is like my heart is literally on fire and getting electrocuted with shocks of grief at once. It is an unbearable pain. It lasts for quite a few minutes and once I am calm Chrollo kneels on the ground. He wipes hair stands away from my face and looks caring for once.

It looks completely genuine before he wipes the look off his face. “What happened?” He asks softly wiping my tears away with his thumb as he helps me to sit upon the ground.

“Uvo… Uvogin. He… He is dead,” I say my voice cracking.

His eyes widen for a split second before he looks unconvinced. The other Troupe Members do not know what to believe. “How do you know that?” Chrollo asks me.

“I can’t tell you,” I mutter out now a little bit recovered.

His eyes grow cold once more, and he sighs. “Feitan, try and get it out of her. If Uvo does not return by dawn, we’ll have a change in plans.”

Immediately, I am placed back on the chair by Feitan and my hands are bound together. However, he does not look pleased to be doing this and that is because he knows I am mentally numb right now after what just happened. The pain he inflicted will not be anything as I just experienced, and he knows this.

The others take their leave as Feitan once again begins his torture.

~*~

“Hey, wake up,” Feitan’s voice rings out.

I look up confused before I remember where I am. I must have been unconscious again. Feitan makes me stand up and holds me by the arm tightly for a warning. He takes me to the main room and my breath hitches as I see something wrong with this picture. All the members are here except for Chrollo.

The thing that is wrong here, is that Killua and Gon are here. When they see my battered self, they freeze in fear. It seems that they know how truly terrifying the Phantom Troupe is now. Killua is beside Hisoka not moving or speaking and Gon is beside them. He is all bloodied up. My blood turns rather hot at the sight and it gets hard to control my anger.

“(Name), we were just debating on letting these two go or not. Nobunaga wants them to stay here as do a few others, but his reasons are more personal. However, that information you do not need to know. You are here because I happened to saw you in one of their memories,” Paku states.

My eyes widen as cold sweat beads down my forehead. This was the last thing I wanted. Them to see me with the Spider. Or them near the Spider at all. I try to remain calm as I ask her in a monotone voice, “What question did you ask?”

“I asked the white-haired kid if he knew anything about the Spider and your image came up, but he claimed nothing. I got nothing from the other one,” She states.

That would do it. I am dead. Gon looks confused as he stares at me. “Do you have a connection to these two?” She asks me to try to see if I am lying. As if planned, Hisoka has a card at Killua’s throat.

I am pissed. He will kill him if he must and he knows it. If I lie, I risk their lives and I am not willing to do that. I make sure I look emotionless as I let my angry Nen shroud around me. Feitan is forced to let go of me. All their eyes widen, especially Gon’s and Killua’s.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Machi asks not showing her reaction.

Feitan stays close behind me. “Remember what Boss said, she won’t fight us.”

“Actually, I will. Killing you is another story. I refuse to kill you but if you harm those two boys I will beat all of you until you yearn for death,” I state my eyes showing something truly evil in them making them freeze and put their Nen up.

They realize I have not grown weak at all. They are worried that I may have a reason to be stronger than them. I smile and say, “Now before I’ll cooperate someone needs to tell me why there is blood on him. After that, I’ll cooperate without a problem.”

Nobunaga has a scowl on his face as he declares, “I’m the one who roughed him up. All we did was arm wrestling. The boy even beat me once.”

Without any hesitation, I produce one of my knives. I use my speed and am in front of him in a moment and stab him in the arm rather deeply. Nobunaga can only let out a shriek in surprise before he glances down emotionlessly. They know I am serious.

“I understand your warning,” He states before pulling out the knife while his teeth grit down from the pain.

All the others are watching me with wary eyes. The get my need to do him harm but are ready if I go overboard. With a sigh, I put my hands out to show I am done. In a demanding voice I say, “Just don’t harm them further. If you feel the need to harm someone please harm me. Now if all of you understand, I just want Paku and Feitan near me.”

They all look at each other giving a silent conversation before they nod their heads. They finally understand who they are dealing with. Paku and Feitan stand in front of me while the others go to stand behind Gon and Killua. “Paku, Feitan, I’ll tell you how I know Uvo is dead. Just stop me if you have questions or think I am lying. I know he is dead because I am a Specialist. I just found out recently, but I know it’s true,” I start.

“How?” Feitan asks not believing me.

I ignore him and continue, closing my eyes. “You guys were my family. When we made the Phantom Troupe, I made a promise. To make my Nen stronger I made a promise to myself. ‘I won’t stop loving my family until they are dead.’ That was the promise. Apparently, back then I did not know I was a Specialist and my powers link to any promises I make. The promise was to make me not feel anything after a family member dies so I do not want to act foolishly and get revenge right after. It would allow me to have time to grieve properly before I act out on anything.”

“How exactly does it work?” Feitan asks.

I point to my heart. “I keep my family close to my heart. When I made the promise, I would feel their death in my heart the moment they die.”

“Is she lying?” Nobunaga asks with a scowl.

Paku closes her eyes and says, “Nope. She is not lying. I’ll double-check right now.”

I let Paku grab my arm and she asks me a simple question, “Who is linked to your promise?”

I simply let the memories arise without fighting back and she scowls upon receiving them. She lets go. “She isn’t lying. The people she deems family is Chrollo, Feitan, Machi, Nobunaga, Franklin, and I. Uvo is crossed out. There are three others. A guy I don’t know and the two boys here in front of us.”

“Why do you deem them, family?” Hisoka asks smirking.

The asshole is enjoying this. I look at Gon and Killua. They look straight back at me with serious eyes. My smile is no longer void of emotion. It is tender as I admit, “I love them.”

Finally, Gon cannot hold back anymore, “(Name) stop lying! You can’t be associated with these people! You’re kind and care for us!”

Feitan smirks and grabs the back of my shirt, slicing it off with his hands. My whole back is bare now and the front of my clothing clings to my body. He swiftly turns me around revealing my tattoo. Gon gasps, “It can’t be true!”

“It is Gon… She admitted it to me when she saved me,” Killua whispers.

I let out a bitter smile as I turn around and look at the two boys I care about most in this world.

“That doesn’t explain how you know them though,” Paku realizes.

She grabs my arm once more and asks, “How do you know them?”

Tears fill my eyes as I realize the secret is finally going to come out. Gon is not going to like me and Killua will side with him. Paku lets out a gasp forcing the others to look at her in surprise. She tries to recompose herself but fails. She is looking at me with shock.

“The white-haired one sees her as a mother figure but the other one…. (Name), did you leave us because you’re a mother?” Paku asks.

The tears cascade down my face as I see Gon’s confused face. That is before his face turns hard from the realization, the emotions swirling around in his eyes reflect the emotion, hatred. That is what it must be. He has to hate me now. He after all never wanted to know his mom. My soul is crying.

Paku continues, “Okay, I got the information. We will have to report this to Boss immediately if he cares. (Name) left us after meeting a man named Ging. She faked her own death to be with him for two years before she became pregnant with Gon. She died giving birth to him but somehow came back to life. It’s unclear what happened after that.”

“Let them go. Please,” My voice comes out so thin and broken.

Feitan smirks. “The torture is complete.”

The others nod. I do not care if I just realized what he did. It worked. Feitan knew physical torture would not work on me so he went for mental. He had Paku in on it to pick out what I was hiding from them, from Chrollo. It worked though. I feel completely numb and empty inside.

Feitan sighs content. “Her emotions right now are that she has nothing to live for. She is back to her old self. She will work with us since she realized her secret got out and the two boys hate her. She is finally back with us.”

I look at Gon and Killua when I allow myself to say only one thing, “You cannot possibly imagine exactly how much I hate myself.”

They will never know it. They will never understand how much of it I possess for growing up with these monsters and founding one of the most terrifying groups in the world. They stare at me with wide eyes as do some of the other members before they recompose themselves.

“Welcome back,” A few members say.


	13. Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader remembers a few moments of what she felt like with growing up with Chrollo in Meteor City.

I don’t say a single word as I turn my back on all of them. I walk back to the room I was previously tortured in. I really do feel like I am back with them from how I am lacking my emotions now. I expected Killua and Gon to call out for me but I just received silence. They really do hate me.

That’s enough to reduce all the emotions I had. I’m currently trying to figure out how I used to be. How I was when I was a Troupe member. It’s what I need to do if I am going to get Gon and Killua safely out of their hands alive.

I don’t care if the Spider makes me stay. I’ll gladly stay and work with them if it means the two boys can leave safely. Nodding to myself, I let memories of my past flow through me. How I was and came to be the heart of the Spider.

~*~

_“You missed a spot!” The guy states before slapping me with his brute strength._

_I feel and taste blood swirl in my mouth as my cheek swells up immediately. I do not say a word as I quickly go over the spot on the man’s shoe. It looks as good as it can get in this city. We can call it brand new. The man nods his head. “Good. Now do not let me see you again or I will kill you.”_

_I feel a blow to my stomach from his newly polished shoe. I feel my insides scream from the pain. I do not say or do anything as I watch the mafia member leave. Of course, he did not pay me. Then again, why would he?_

_My reward is getting to live another day._

_“Did you get it?” A voice asks helping me up._

_I glance up to meet cold eyes. Chrollo. He looks beyond pissed but he stays silent about the scene he just saw. I nod my head and pull out a wallet from my pocket. He grabs it and looks at its contents._

_“This is a lot of Jenny,” He murmurs._

_He stuffs the wallet into his own pocket and places a hand on my head. “You did well. Here, let’s go home,” Chrollo says helping me up._

_He lets me lean on him as he leads me back to our base that a few of our friends live in as well. It doesn’t matter though. We share a room. We shared a room ever since we met each other. The thought makes me smile but I don’t since I can’t help this feeling that he was going to explode. I do know him better than I know myself._

_“Whoa, what happened?” A loud boy asks._

_He recently moved in. I believe Chrollo has called him Uvo once. “Nothing happened. Just someone who yearns for death,” Chrollo murmurs as he glances at me._

_Death. A smile graces my features as I see that is what he holds dear to him. Chrollo will bring death to that man who harmed me. When has he ever let me down? When has he ever let someone get away with hurting me? He would walk through hell itself before letting someone get away with that._

_They always end up dead sooner or later. Chills run through my body as I feel my own need to feel warm blood splatter onto my cold skin. Not just any blood but the blood of all the jerks in this city. Sure, there are a ton who understand us, who live the same way as us. It doesn’t matter though. The bad always outnumber the good here._

~*~

A small smile is on my face as I think of those times. Back then it was just Chrollo, Nobunaga, Uvo, and Paku before the other founding members arrived. We had to survive. We lost some of our humanity to survive.

Memories keep flowing through me as I remember my old self. My true self.

~*~

_I stare down at the body not sure how to feel. I am satisfied but I am unsure if it is good or not. I hold the little body close to me. It has long been cold. All the fluid have fled from it. My eyes hold no emotion as I stare at the tiny thing._

_A young girl._

_“Are you mourning?”_

_I shake my head and reply, “I don’t think so. I just find it odd. How a girl younger than me, was ready to kill. She had no idea who I was, yet she held the bloodlust that many murderers here have. That we have. It sucks, doesn’t it? Being a nobody from birth and not knowing when your time is up. This could have been me, years ago. Yet, I don’t even feel bad that I did this. She could have had siblings she cared for, or perhaps she had no one. I will never know.”_

_“Hmm. I for one am glad that you didn’t turn out like her. What is the saying? Survival of the fittest? Now come along. I am sure being lost in your mind is not good for you right now,” Chrollo says softly._

_He takes me back to our home. I hold his hand tightly._

~*~

“(Name), we need you to stay here with Nobunaga. Are you willing to cooperate?” Feitan’s voice calls for me.

I nod my head and answer, “Yes. I will comply. I will even stay until Chrollo decides what is to be done for me. I will accept whatever fate he hands me. I just request one thing.”

“What is it?”

I give him a cold smile. “The boys’ survival.”

“I do not see why not. However, that also depends on Nobunaga. He is willing to kill them if they try anything. You do remember the rule don’t you?” Feitan asks tossing me a Troupe coin.

I nod and whisper, “No fighting among members.”

“Correct. You will be seen as a member as long as you comply,” Feitan replies.

I nod my head and follow him. He leads me to a room where Gon and Killua are. They are in the back of it. It has no windows. It has only one door and Nobunaga is already guarding it. “Oh (Name). It’s nice to have you back,” Feitan mumbles before he leaves with the others.

Once it is just the four of us, I sit down beside Nobunaga. He watches me out of the corner of his eye as Gon and Killua seem to glare at me from across the room. “What are the others doing?” I ask softly.

Nobunaga quickly replies, “You said it yourself. Uvo’s dead. I believe it so I assume they believe it. They are going to mourn for him, causing a distraction for the boss.”

I nod. I assume that means Chrollo has a plan for the auction that is back on. I do not care. I only stare at the boys. I hate the way they are staring at me. It feels like they could kill me if they wanted to. I do not care for a lot of things but what I do care about is how these boys view me. They are my lifeline now and it hurts to think my existence disappoints them.

They start whispering among themselves. Nobunaga can hear them clearly. I again do not care. I am void of all emotion. That is until Gon speaks loud and clear, “You are not really my mom, are you? Was that all some kind of play?”

“You know it isn’t,” I reply fast.

He seems to be in an argument with himself. I sigh and offer him a fake smile. “Hate me. It will make it easier for me when you leave. Hate me with all you got.”

“Are you trying to rile them up?” Nobunaga asks a bit irritated.

I glance at him, my eyes dead serious as I speak, “Why? You will not lay a hand on them.”

“Oh and why not?” He asks seeming to get angry.

I can hear the heartbeats from here as I focus my energy on them. They are planning on leaving. I just have to distract or hold back Nobunaga. I take out the coin. “I won’t let you. We can’t fight. We have to follow the rules. However, my instincts are strong since I’m so deep in the web. I no longer care for any consequences but it was all of you who pushed me back to who I am. In other words, my dear Nobu, if I have to, I will kill you.”

“You are all talk and no action (Name). I know you do care for the rules if you are back to your old self. After all, since when have you ever disobeyed Boss?” Nobunaga counters back.

Their hearts are getting restless. I sit down clutching the coin tightly. Nobunaga relaxes before he glares at my kids. “Forget it. You are smart enough to know how much stronger I am. There will not be any chances,” Nobunaga states since he can hear their hearts too.

I need to plan their opening. I keep my eyes on them and notice Killua has a strange look on his face. He announces, “Shut up! I’ll stop his shodachi, even if it kills me. Use that chance to run away!”

Gon immediately strikes the back of Killua’s head. “What the hell was that for?!” Killua asks grabbing the collar of Gon’s shirt.

I try to hide my amusement but even in this situation, they manage to bring light into it. Gon yells at Killua, “You’re being selfish! Don’t talk about dying like it’s nothing!”

“You did the same thing earlier!” Killua yells back.

Gon doesn’t even hesitate to say, “I’m allowed to do but you aren’t!”

A smile graces my features as Nobunaga laughs. “Reason never works on an Enhancer. Your child must get his personality from his father. Though his loyalty to his friends, that must come from you, because even if you did betray us in the end you never meant any harm to us,” Nobunaga says with amusement.

I ignore his statement and realize that despite their arguing they are still thinking of a way out. My thoughts are confirmed when Gon says something out of the ordinary. It must be something Killua and he learned together.

“I remember now! It was ostomy! Cauterization, autopsy, and the last one was the ostomy! Do you remember now?” Gon asks.

As soon as the realization hits Killua’s eyes, I stand up. They seem wary. I know they do not trust me but my focus is on their next move. Their goal is aimed towards Nobunaga. They charge him and as soon as they break the walls to make multiple exits I use all of my strength to throw the coin at Nobunaga and unleash my nen to make it seem like I will attack him.

He stops and goes into defense mode as soon as he felt my nen. He seems confused as to why I remain standing still only to realize that I bluffed him. “Sorry. I think they went that way,” I murmur pointing to the two holes they left out of.

Nobunaga’s eye twitches but he ignores me to go on the hunt. I wait quite a few minutes until I call for Nobunaga. He comes back to the room. He can’t be angry with me anymore. There would be no point.

I sit back down and stare at the candle that lit up the room. Nobunaga sits beside me. “I apologize for faking that attack. If you honestly think that Gon is anything like Uvo then you would understand why I did it,” I murmur.

Nobunaga nods his head and replies, “I do. That is why I will tell Boss you were compliant with me. This is your only free ticket from me…. Do you feel it? It is happening.”

I do feel it. The grief in the air. That means the others are wreaking havoc. A pained expression lands on my face as I murmur, “I did miss you guys. You need to know that.”

“Why did you leave then?” His voice isn’t cold. He’s not going to judge me. He is just truly curious about why I left. He quickly says, “Boss was a mess when you left. He wasn’t the same for a long time.”

I clutch the front of my shirt. The shirt still clings to me thanks to Feitan’s harsh actions with ripping the back of it. I make eye contact with Nobunaga. I will tell the truth. I know he will report whatever I say to Chrollo but that is the point. I am back to my old self or should be.

“A man who truly cared about my well-being told me it was killing me. He knew I would be dead soon from how reckless I was back then. All he did was beg for one day. One day to hang out with him so he can show me the world through his perspective,” I say with a sad smile on my face.

Nobunaga nods and closes his eyes. He is listening intently to me. “I suppose showing his perspective worked?”

“It did. He showed me there was more in the world other than killing and stealing. He showed me that not all people are evil with the ugliness in their hearts. That people can and do hold a beauty to them. He taught me how to care for silly things. He showed me that the world can be beautiful and filled with adventures-“

Nobunaga opens his eyes again in confusion, “You fell in love with him?”

“No. Not at first. It took the first few days after I faked my death before I did. He was relentless in confessing his love. He claimed it was love at first sight among the fact that I was the strongest woman he has ever seen. I admit I fell for him and hard. We were both stubborn, but he was kind. Anyway, yes he is the one that made me leave ultimately. I wanted to go back several times, but he would not let me in fear of my own safety,” I murmur.

Nobunaga nods his head to show he listened. He waits a few moments before he asks, “And Chrollo? You both were inseparable. Did you so easily forget him? After you “died” there was a spot in all of our hearts that couldn’t be filled. It was obviously worse for Boss since you were lovers.”

“I never forgot about him. I was filled with guilt when I fell for the man who saved me. I hated myself for loving anyone other than Chrollo. If my perspective on the world was not changed, I would have gone to my grave loving nobody but Chrollo. However, because this happened I realized there are all types of love. Chrollo will always be my first and loyal love. Gon’s father is my current love but Gon is my true love,” I state.

Nobunaga scoffs before a gentle smile lands on his face. “I see. I guess it is true in some cases. You were lucky to have such an emotional bond with him. I understand now that is why you gave up everything and went back to us. It is all for him and that other kid, isn’t it?” He asks.

My silence confirms his thoughts. A small laugh comes out of my throat as I reminiscence about Uvo. “Do you remember when Uvo almost killed that town for me? He truly was like an older brother to me and my heart is broken.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do read and cherish all comments I get! I just suck at remembering to reply but know that I love reading your guys' comments! Thank you for taking the time to do so! It warms up my heart!


	14. Everything That We are Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrollo and Reader have a talk :')

_“(Name) be careful. This is the first town outside of Meteor City which makes it the most dangerous,” Chrollo states in monotone._

_However, the grip he has on my hand tells me of all the emotions I need to know. He is begging I do not do anything reckless as soon as we start our thieving spree. I stare out into the city. It is still a dump but more open. We are currently on a cliff high up to see how large the city is. “I will. This is the job. I can feel it. Then we will be out of this hellhole and out stealing for real!” I say with excitement._

_Chrollo’s lips twitch into a gentle smile._

_“Yes. After this, we will move onto greater things. (Name), I’ll be a few houses down. Remember, it is a jewel with initials carved into it,” Feitan murmurs as he nods to Chrollo to show he knows the plan._

_It will just be Feitan and me on this hunt. The others are lookouts since this is our most serious starting mission for our soon to be career as thieves. I nod at Feitan and in a split second, I am at the designated first house._

_Feitan is down the street at his house as planned. I go in without making a noise. I hurry and look around, taking anything else valuable, only to not find a thing. It all but took thirty seconds for the first house. I enter the second house and do the same thing._

_As soon as I enter the third house, I am hit on the back of the head with enough force that it would have killed anyone who was not a Phantom Thief. Instead, it just weakens all my movements as it forces my body to give small tremors and sharp pains being sent throughout my body disorienting everything for me._

_A hushed voice speaks as they pick me up, “Do not worry Darlin’. You are coming with us. The boss who sent you and your wee lil friends took a fancy to ya.”_

_“Don’t spoil it,” Another voice speaks._

_I passed out for quite a bit before I woke up with my wrists tied to something that leaves my body hanging. The two males who kidnapped me await any response with amusement. Of course, I do not give them a reaction._

_We are out in the open. It appears to be a town square. There are multiple men with guns out but also multiple innocents living here. They are afraid of the men but ignore them. How pathetic they are. My blood boils. Not because of the predicament I am in or these useless people. My blood boils because I am a shame to my group. How dare I fall victim to them? We are supposed to be starting our group as strong individuals and I fucked up._

_“Why ain’t you scared, lil girl?” The one who picked me up says._

_An empty smile is on my face as I give a reply, “You will be dead soon.”_

_I am slapped so hard that blood starts to pool in my mouth. The quieter one is the one who hit me. He scoffs and says, “Pathetic. How can you say that in the situation you’re in?”_

_“Don’t be too harsh with her. That’s my job, bro.”_

_Another hit. I see that this is what’s going to happen for a few hours. And it does. “Six hours and she still ain’t crying! Maybe we should just have fun with her. The Boss will not notice. If he cared, he would have been here to collect her by now.”_

_“Your boss was a weak pathetic asshole that cried the second my boss caught him. (Name) is not crying because she is not a weak ass thing like you,” A new but familiar voice states._

_I look up to see Uvogin. He looks beyond pissed. I glance up and spit out the blood in my mouth. A sinister smile on my face now that Uvo is here. I will not need to lift a finger. He will gladly kill these two bozos for me._

_"You good, (Name)?” Uvo asks._

_I nod and laugh. “Much better now that you are here.”_

_His eyes scan over me to make sure I am not fibbing. Once he deems I am okay all hell breaks loose. Screams and begs for life fill the air. The metallic scent that feels like home to me enters my nostril and I watch content as people drop to the floor while other people run for their lives._

_Most of them are dead by the time Uvo is near me. The two idiots try to get me down in vain. Uvo bashes their heads in the moment they make eye contact with him. The town is practically empty now. He left a few alive to tell them who wreaked havoc here._

_Uvo gives me an angry grin as he undoes the rope that bounds my wrist together. I land on the floor without a problem and shake my arms to get the feeling back into them. “Thanks, Uvo,” I say before smiling at him._

_“Don’t thank me. Y’know I would kill anyone for you (Name). However…. If you are inclined to thank me then buy me some booze!” Uvo says laughing as his hand pats my head and messes up my hair._

~*~

“I remember that. It is clear as day because both Boss and Uvo were beyond angry. The only reason why Boss didn’t get you was because he was dealing with their leader who ordered your kidnapping. Uvo wanted to get you back because you were his favorite in the group,” Nobunaga says with a sad smile on his face.

A sigh leaves me as I ask, “I didn’t get a chance to talk to him or explain anything before he died. How angry was he when he found out I was alive?”

“Not angry more betrayed. He mourned you for a long time when you faked your death. It crushed him and made him angrier along with some of us. We did not get to talk much after finding out you were alive, but he was relieved. (Name), he cared for you so despite the hurt you caused us he was happy to see you,” Nobunaga tells me with honesty.

We share a few more memories of Uvo throughout the next few hours before Nobunaga gets a text. He stands up and motions me to do so as well.

“Is this going to be my execution?” I ask softly.

He raises an eyebrow. “I do not think so. If the Boss wants you dead, we will know. We are just meeting up with them outside. They already took care of everything. They should be here in a few minutes; we are just helping them with the merchandise.”

~*~

I feel like I am going to die soon. There would be no benefit in killing me and Chrollo knows that, but I cannot help feeling like I am going to die. Maybe it is because Nobunaga already spoke to Chrollo. I do not know what he said but it is obvious it is whatever I told him.

Everything is all situated. All of us are sitting around by the boxes. Chrollo has not said anything as he seems to plot with his eyes closed. I am sitting beside Paku and Nobunaga. They are resting for whatever the next move is.

My heart is pained as I observe Chrollo’s face. He looks so peaceful almost as if he is sleeping. It throws me off guard since this charming face is a monster. A monster I once loved with all my heart and a part of me still does. He finally opens his eyes. They land on me in a split second.

My heart is pounding. “Rest here for the night. (Name) and I, are going to speak about her situation. We will be back in a few hours,” Chrollo states his voice rather calculating.

I assume he is trying to get a reaction out of me but then again, I just may be paranoid. The others agree and a few are passed out immediately. Chrollo starts for the exit. I hurry to catch up with him, not wanting to anger him any further than he probably is.

He does not say a word as he leads me out of the building. However, he does pause slightly only to hold his hand out to me. Confusion enters me as I grasp for it without really thinking. Of course, it was second nature to me when I was with the thieves.

A small smile plays on his lips as our fingers intertwine. We keep walking in silence until we have walked about an hour into the city and make it to an impressive hotel. My nerves start eating at me and before I can ask, he speaks.

“Calm down. As I said earlier, we are just talking,” He says in a soothing voice to calm my nerves.

Despite how the situation is looking, I believe him. We walk to the front desk where he signs in under a surname for a reservation he made. He planned on having this talk even if I was unwilling. We head on up to the room.

It looks expensive. I look at him in confusion when he removes his coat. His eyes are on me. He wants to see me uncomfortable. I stand my ground and stay still while retaining eye contact with him. He takes off his shirt next so all that he has left is his pants.

True to his word, he does not take off anything else. Chrollo grabs my hand and places it on his chest where his heart is. The other hand cups my face. It would be a loving gesture at any other moment but now.

“I want you to feel the pain I felt when I received word of your death. When we saw that dismantled body that resembled yours,” He says in a husky voice.

I believe I am in for it now. My throat tightens as I fight the urge to cry. I never wanted to come face to face with him after that. His thumb rubs over my lip.

“All the romantic love I had in me died when I thought you did. However, fourteen years ago you really just abandoned your family. I had my suspicions because of the promise you made me do,” Chrollo admits.

This surprises me. He brings up the promise yet again. Chrollo leans in and our lips graze each other. His heartbeat is slightly fast under the palm of my hand. Again, I am surprised. I would think that his emotions for me are completely gone but the proof is in his fast heartbeat beneath my fingertips tells me he is still completely mine.

He pulls back slightly and continues, “That promise was a stupid one we made as teenagers, but it was one I cherished and kept true. I have never kissed anyone other than you.”

I did not even know I was a specialist back then. I had no idea of the power I had when making promises.

He speaks again, “It is because of that promise I suspected things. Two years after your “death” my lips tingled. It did not hurt but it made me sad because it made me think of you. That is when I suspected things. I assume that is when you died giving birth to your son.”

The time sounds about right.

“I am correct I suppose. However, I figured you were alive when the tingling on my lips came back a year later. Instead of a foreboding feeling, I got a warmth. For a moment it felt like you never left. Of course, that was all a theory until Paku told me of your powers. You are a specialist and it links to your promises. If that is true you can tell if I was true in keeping my promise,” He finishes his thoughts.

I nod and he waits for me to respond. I do with hesitance. “I know you did not break it. If you did you would be in a deathly painful state for a while and I would feel the pain as well. Surely you did not have us come here just for that, did you?”

“Correct. Nobunaga informed me of why you left and betrayed me. I want to know who fathered your child. I want to know why this one man was able to have you turn your back on the group we founded together. Then I want you to tell me how you feel. Surely you need to vent after having your “true love” hate you,” He muses pulling away from me.

The way he says that makes me want to hit Nobunaga for saying what I said word for word. He is amused by how much I think of Gon, my child. He thinks a mere child is nothing and he is so wrong in this scenario. That child is my world, I died for him.

Chrollo’s expression is stoic as always. He motions me to sit on the bed and I comply. He leans against the wall and stares at me with those remote eyes.

My lips form into a scowl as I say, “I can’t tell you of Gon’s father. I fear you would harm him if you so desired it. Though he is also one not to be trifled with. A fight between you two would be overwhelming, to say the least. I will tell you of my current pain instead because it is much worse than a lover leaving you behind.”

It looks like he will not accept this until he gives me a nod to go on. I do. “To make you happier I will tell you that I have no way to communicate with Gon’s father. He believes me to be dead since I gave birth to Gon. Gon came just a tad early but he would not come out and it was too late for any other option. I gave birth to him and died. I do not regret it because as soon as I held him, he transformed my heart and stole it,” I admit.

He quickly asks, “If you died from childbirth how are you alive now? That’s the only thing Paku could not make out.”

“I am unsure either. I only know this girl with Specialist abilities brought me back to life the next few days after I was announced dead. She only told the doctor that she came to the island to revive me as I had to have a second chance in life. She said it would take a year before my body would be fully healed from the trauma I endured during labor. In that year I was unconscious before I came back. I hadn’t a clue how to find Gon or his father, so I secluded myself on an island for twelve years trying to improve my mentality and physical form,” I explain.

When he does not say anything to this I continue, “I finally had enough and decided to go find Gon’s father by becoming a hunter. Then I found him. I found my baby at the Hunter’s exam. The amount of happiness I felt when I laid eyes on him is something I can’t explain. He looked like a little version of his father and he grew up to be everything I am not. **_Everything that we are not_**. That is something I will always be grateful for. He joined the exam to find his father. It was fate. We were meant to be united.”

“How does he view you now? The white-haired boy did not care from what Paku told me. In fact, he viewed you as his mother but your boy?” He asks seeming to be enjoying this.

Especially when a tear slides down my face. An empty laugh escapes me as I answer, “He hates me. He never wanted to know his mother. I have been with him for months now and hid these secrets from him so of course, he hates me. I do not blame him. I hate me too.”

It suddenly feels like I cannot breathe. The air gets knocked on me as I admit this. Finally seeing and saying the truth, it felt as if my world came apart. Of course, I knew this would happen as soon as they saw me with the Spider but facing it with Chrollo here makes it worse.

Even though I know the distance I made with them was for their own good, it still hurts like hell. Chrollo says nothing as he wraps his arms around me. Despite everything, they provide me a large comfort. I do not like it, but I need the comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was to show the aspect of Chrollo/Reader's relationship. In the end she officially rejoined the Spider to save Gon and Killua and she still loves Chrollo to which he provides her comfort even if they despise each others' past actions. This is just a sad thing for Reader since rejoining them is the last thing Ging wanted for her. She would have never done it if it weren't for Gon and Killua's safety in the way.
> 
> As always, I adore your comments! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter whether it was the flashback/reader's old-self/chrollo and reader/ or about Ging I would love to read it. Thank you for your support for this story. <3


	15. Rejoining the Spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets her fortune read.

“What do you mean we are leaving? And are you really okay with (Name) being treated as a member?” Nobunaga asks with pure confusion towards Chrollo’s decision.

Chrollo’s arm tightens around my waist more. I can tell from some of their initial looks at my close proximity with Chrollo and the new clothes that I am wearing that used to be Chrollo’s, that they have the wrong idea. Thankfully, Chrollo only laid with me at the hotel. He did nothing more but cuddled against my self-hatred and misery. It felt like old times except for the fact that I wanted to be far away from all of them.

I believe the way he is going to have me hurt like he did when I left is by not allowing me to leave. I will stay forever with the Troupe until I truly die. It is where I belong, and he is going to make sure I know that leaving was a mistake.

Chrollo nods and answers, “We are leaving tonight. We will take the rest of the treasure tonight and that will be the end of it.”

“Not yet. We have to find the chain user,” Nobunaga states before questioning, “Are we really going to leave without avenging Uvo? Uvo will be bored in the next world if we do not send the chain user to join him.”

I shake my head at the thought. This chain user sounds incredibly powerful and Nobunaga sounds like he’s going to be reckless in acting. He challenges Chrollo’s order resulting in Franklin telling Nobunaga to knock it off.

I only sigh as Chrollo lets go of me to get up and jump from the stage we were on. They are face to face now but Chrollo has an empty smile on his face and his Nen Skill book in his hand. I stay on stage and watch as he says, “Before I answer your question, answer mine. What day were you born?”

This dumbfounds all of us, but I am intrigued since it is a new skill he learned. If I am going to be stuck here against my will then I am for sure going to at least learn all their skills and hopefully weaknesses that way if we cross my kids again I can at least stop the Troupe from harming them other than making them fear me.

“September 8th, in the year 70,” Nobunaga answers with hesitance.

Chrollo continues with the questions, “Blood type? Name?”

“B. Nobunaga Hazama! What the hell! You already know that. What is this all about? Do you want to know more?” Nobunaga growls out annoyed by Boss’ actions.

Chrollo hands him a paper and replies, “No. That should do. Write all of that on this sheet of paper.”

Nobunaga grumbles in annoyance but does as told. He gives the paper back to Chrollo who uses his new nen ability. After writing something down he hands the paper back to Nobunaga who is confused about what the hell it is.

“That is a completely accurate fortune written in verse form. The ability to see the future. I stole this power from Nostrade’s daughter. Each of the four verses predicts what will happen in that week. This is my prediction she gave me yesterday,” He murmurs handing Nobunaga the book.

We’re waiting in silence as Nobunaga asks, “Is the ‘precious component of the calendar’…?”

“Uvo. That girl did not know anything about Uvo. In other words, she predicted our attack on the Mafia auction. And there were fans of her fortunetelling among the Ten Dons,” Chrollo starts to explain.

Franklin immediately states, “I get it. That explains why the merchandise had already been moved the first time we attacked.”

“What was Nobunaga’s fortune?” Shizuku asks.

Chrollo glances at her and answers, “My hand wrote it by itself. I do not know what was written. Ask Nobunaga.”

“Next week, five of us will probably die. No idea on who… I kind of understand the second poem. The spider loses half its limbs-“ Nobunaga is cut off by Shizuku who asks Chrollo to do her fortune.

We wait for it to be done and her clueless face does not change even as she says, “I knew it! I am going to die next week. I only got two poems and Pakunoda and Shalnark will die, as well. It seems the numbered months here refer to the Phantom Troupe members. November was the 11th month and Uvo was number 11.”

“Exactly. The chrysanthemum is the flower of September. It blooms in August the eighth month, and it withers in June. This refers to members 6, 8, and 9. And the word fall implies death,” Chrollo says.

Phinks murmurs, “Scarlet eyes is in the fortune? I am guessing it is the chain user.”

“Scarlet eyes… I remember now. The clan whose eyes turned red. Then there was a survivor,” Paku points out her eyes closed.

My heart stops. They are talking about Kurapika? I have not thought of him since we were supposed to meet him. It would make sense as well if he were the chain user. Shalnark tries to persuade Nobunaga off this path of vengeance since they can’t afford to lose the members with unique powers, but he is silent.

To this, I am thankful for my promise to myself. I am also thankful I betrayed them. If I did not make it, I would have foolishly tried to avenge Uvo and harm Kurapika who has suffered from the Phantom Troupe’s hands.

“The good thing about these fortunes is that they tell us how to avoid catastrophes. If we leave here without fighting the chain user, this fortune is one hundred percent certain to not come true. Nobunaga, you and Uvo were our attack unit, dying is part of your job and I believe you chose it voluntarily. Shizuku, Paku, and Shal collect intelligence. They provide our support. They are our lifelines. Isn’t your job to serve as their shield?” Chrollo gets to the point in persuading Nobunaga off of the revenge path.

I turn my head making eye contact with Hisoka. I have not talked to him since I got here and to be frank, I do not want to talk to him. I am pretty ticked with his whole “act” in the group. He just smirks at me and jumps from the pillar he was sitting on.

I jump off the stage to join the group on the ground level. “Wait. You should tell some of the other members’ fortunes. Perhaps we could gather additional clues for avoiding the prophecy,” Hisoka says his tone quite serious.

I do not know what he is up to but oddly enough I am all for it. I want to get my fortune read as well. Within minutes Chrollo has read everyone’s fortune and we are all reading it. I do not dare read mine yet because Paku’s eyes have been set on Hisoka since he brought up the idea.

She walks over to him and asks, “What did yours say? Let me read it.”

“I do not recommend it. It will shock you,” Hisoka says with his never-ending smirk as his eyes close in thought.

It does not feel right as he hands it over to her. She skims through it and brings it to the others with the shock in her voice as she reads it out loud:

A red-eyed customer will visit your shop seeking to make a trade.

The customer will use the sword of law upon you, taking the calendar’s secrets with him.

The eleven-legged spider grows homesick, losing five more legs.

Do not leave your temporary shelter, for you are one of those legs.

I am a bit shocked by this. This whole feeling I am getting is odd since this means he conversed with Kurapika. That must have been what they were talking about when they planned to meet up. I heed Nobunaga’s outburst since he is ready to kill Hisoka for selling out Uvo. He will not hold back and Franklin and Shalnark are ready to try and stop him.

Their words are not getting through him to though. I sigh and stand up. It is time to do what I used to do to defuse a stupid fight even though this is far from stupid. Franklin nods at me since I am coming from behind Nobunaga. He knows what I am about to do.

He quickly moves Shalnark out the way in case Nobunaga acts out from my touch. I grab his earlobe and hard to which this stops all movement. His breathing is shaky and he demands in anger, “Let go (Name).”

Shalnark uses this distraction to ask Hisoka, “Explain to us what happened this week.”

“I cannot. It would amount to telling you what I can’t say. Therefore I can’t tell you but it’s not that I won’t tell… I can’t say any more. That is all I can say. If you will not accept that as an answer… Then I am prepared to defend myself.”

“No. That is unnecessary. If you listened carefully his fortune said-“ Nobunaga cuts me off by actually pulling away from my hard grip.

His anger is blinding his rational thinking as he draws his sword and goes straight for Hisoka. Thankfully Chrollo uses one of his powers to teleport Nobunaga onto the stage and stopping any bloodshed. Chrollo glances at me and he knew what I was onto.

“Nobunaga, be quiet for a moment. Hisoka, I’m going to ask you some questions. You don’t have to answer if you can’t. In the fortune, what does the ‘taking secrets’ part mean?” Chrollo asks.

Hisoka replies without a hitch, “The powers of the Troupe’s members.”

“Of how many members?” Chrollo asks.

Hisoka responds, “Seven. No, eight. You, Uvogin, Shizuku, Machi, Franklin, Pakunoda, Shalnark, and I add up to eight.”

“So you only found out about Kortopi’s ability yesterday?” Chrollo asks.

He nods. “That is correct.”

“What is his ability?” Chrollo asks.

Hisoka’s face seems to darken as he answers, “I can’t say.”

“What does he look like?” Chrollo continues.

“I can’t say.”

“What is your relationship with him?” Chrollo asks.

“I can’t say.”

Chrollo nods and closes his ability book before saying, “I understand. The chain user has two abilities at the very least. One would be the ability he used to capture Uvogin. The other would be the ability that restricts Hisoka’s actions.”

“The hell does that mean?” Nobunaga asks irritated.

I sigh and loudly retort, “If you listened to me earlier I was going to tell you that the fortune said the customer used the sword of law on him. That means his ability affected Hisoka in a way that he is following a set of rules that will not reveal the chain user.”

“I would also guess that he planted something inside of Hisoka. The whole poem suggests something was exchanged but the customer only took the secrets. This means that the sword of law attacked Hisoka and forced him to betray us. The sword that can restrict Hisoka’s speech is powerful indeed,” Chrollo states.

I finally glance down to my own fortune. My heart jumps at reading these words. To the others, it will seem like I’m in danger and I might be. This poem is telling me I have a fifty/fifty chance of dying or living next week. I am hesitant because of what else it speaks of.

“Uvo, Hisoka, Shizuku, Pakunoda, Shalnark. One more for half the members… No one else’s fortune predicted their death?” Chrollo asks.

Phinks is quick to answer, “Then it has to be Feitan, Kortopi, or me. We didn’t get our fortunes told because we lacked the data.”

“What about (Name)? What does yours say?” Machi asks. She must’ve noticed me tense up from reading my fortune.

I hand her the paper and she reads out loud:

You will cause harm to your true love leaving nothing but a shell.

Rejoin the calendar when they need you most, Sacrifices will be made to ensure the light

You will find Eternal Darkness if you stray from the light so be sure to stay with a promise in the night

Scarlet Eyes will decide the heart of the Spider's fate

“So (Name) is the last member to die, huh?” Phinks asks a bit shocked.

Shalnark ignores it and asks Chrollo, “Boss, what should we do? Leave or stay?”

Chrollo’s expression seems more serious than usual as he answers, “Let’s stay.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys come back in the next chapter!


	16. Finding Kurapika

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait Lovelies! I have been trying to figure out a decent writing schedule (and failing) but I have hope I will figure it out soon! In the mean time the: **Next update is December 1st!**

You will cause harm to your true love leaving nothing but a shell.

Rejoin the calendar when they need you most, Sacrifices will be made to ensure the light

You will find Eternal Darkness if you stray from the light so be sure to stay with a promise in the night

Scarlet Eyes will decide your fate

-

I feel unsure about it. The first two lines have passed but I am unsure of what this “light” is. I am inclined to believe that it is Gon and Killua since they are literally the loves of my life, but I am unsure. Eternal Darkness most certainly means death for me so I assume I will have to be helping my boys in the future in order to avoid my death. I am told to stay near Chrollo at night since he is the only one with an active promise to me, except for Hisoka but he fulfilled his only active promise and that was not to tell the Phantom Troupe about me or Gon. They already know but he did not tell them, so his promise was fulfilled.

Finally, Kurapika is going to decide my fate. I would not blame him if he wanted to put a dagger through my heart.

“We will spend the next week operating in these groups. Avoid being alone. Shizuku, Pakunoda, and Machi and (Name). Kortopi, Phinks, and Feitan. Nobunaga and Shalnark are with me. Bonolenov, Franklin, and Hisoka will stay here. (Name) will be with me at night,” Chrollo orders.

Machi speaks up and glances at me, “Boss. Is it okay with those kids knowing our hideout? Well, they did not have anything to do with the chain user, but I am worried.”

“OH YEAH! I forgot! Boss, I want to recruit that kid. (Name)’s kid!” Nobunaga says with full-on excitement.

Machi grows a tickmark on her forehead as she murmurs, “That is not why I brought it up.”

Chrollo looks puzzled for a second before he says one word, “Explain.”

I guess they only told Chrollo about Gon’s relations to me. With Nobunaga’s excitement, Chrollo will take Gon into consideration. Nobunaga explains the two kids in detail with how they captured them to the conversations they had. As if reading my mind he glances at me and says, “He does sound interesting. However, it does not sound like he will join the Spiders. Why the concern Machi?”

Nobunaga is asking Chrollo to meet him while Machi is on the opposite side. I am trying to calm down since she is hinting that, them, being alive could be a problem. The moment the question left his lips she got a bit upset as she answers, “A hunch.”

Chrollo lips tighten as he murmurs, “You have sharp instincts. Perhaps those kids are important. To be safe, we need more fake bases. Kortopi, can you make ten more?”

I am confused until I realize Kortopi is a Conjurer meaning he can make copies of not just objects but even people. I am curious and impressed when he says, “I can make fifty more to be on the safe side. They will act as En so I will know if there is an intruder.”

A while later Chrollo starts to think of a game plan with the fortunes he told.

“Have you already told me everything that Uvo knew about the Chain User?” Chrollo asks as he holds my hand, a book in his other.

I look at Shalnark as he answers, “Yes. When we were investigating the Nostrade family using the Hunter website, Uvo pointed to three members at the top.”

I do not recognize the faces on the paper Shalnark holds up. It eases my mind since Kurapika is not on there.

“It was late on the first night when we realized and I met the daughter yesterday. Here is the updated list of bodyguards. There are two new members,” Chrollo murmurs as he stands up to hold the paper.

The other members have their own copies and are looking at it in groups. I sit back and listen as Franklin murmurs, “Seven bodyguards. Probably more. That is a lot to protect just one girl.”

“He must love her,” Shizuku notes.

Chrollo shakes his head and points out, “It is her power he loves. Her power got him the position he has today.”

“But why did she come to Yorknew City?” Paku and Shizuku wonder.

I let out a heavy sigh and answer them, “Probably for the auction. A little rich girl in the mafia would want all sorts of things, I would imagine.”

Suddenly, Chrollo’s body goes rigid as he glances at me. I raise an eyebrow as Shalnark asks, “Leader?”

“Shizuku, Pakanoda, (Name). Nice,” Chrollo sits back down beside me as a hand goes up to cover a portion of his face.

I am actually concerned and I hate it. “Chrollo?” I ask softly.

“Actually, I am an idiot. Damn, what is wrong with me? If I had stopped to consider why their boss’ daughter is in Yorknew City, we could have found the Chain User sooner. It is safe to assume that this girl came to Yorknew City for the auction as (Name) had said. I was too focused on her fortune-telling to give any regard to that,” He murmurs.

All the other members are soaking in his words. I am intrigued but my gut is feeling with a foreboding feeling as he takes his hand off his face and continues his thoughts. A small empty smile is on his face as he states, “According to the website, this girl also collects body parts.”

I let out a gasp without thinking. He glances at me with an amused expression and it is because he knows I am shocked. I do not even try to hide it because I am just surprised that Kurapika thought all of this through. I quickly say what I think he was going to say, “Since that information is known through the website the Chain User would have seen it!”

Chrollo nods and continues his own thought, “They would have joined the Nostrade family for a reason. He knew that the Scarlet Eyes would be sold at the auction and the daughter would have wanted them. He desires two things. To exact revenge upon us and to recover his people’s eyes… Shalnark, did we manage to get the eyes?”

“I am not sure. I had the auctioneer running on autopilot throughout the auction,” Shalnark murmurs with a slight frown.

Kortopi speaks up when he and Chrollo make eye contact, “Yes, I made copies of them.”

“Your copies act as your En. Can you find the copy?” Chrollo asks.

Kortopi nods and answers, “If I’m touching the original, yes.”

This starts all of us on a quest to find the Scarlet Eyes. I feel sick to my stomach when I am the one who ends up finding them. Their eyes are a beautiful scarlet color and I can see why the Troupe slaughtered them because the eyes look like jewels. I can’t appreciate it. I am sickened by what their actions have done and how they hurt Kurapika.

With a slight pain in my chest, I hand over the eyes to Kortopi. He touches them and immediately points in one direction while saying, “Got it. There is something of the same shape approximately 2,500 meters in that direction. We should hurry. The effect of the En will fade in a few hours.”

“Boss, let me go. Please,” Nobunaga says seeking permission.

Chrollo stares at me before nodding his head. “I am going with you. Paku, Machi, Shizuku, (Name), you’re going too. Shalnark, you’re switching with Kortopi. Let’s head out,” Chrollo says marking a map that Phinks gives him.

It is raining heavily outside and seeing all the fake buildings mesmerizes me. Kortopi has a talent and it could be dangerous if Chrollo wanted it to be. We start walking towards the city and I realize that the others are walking a bit behind Chrollo and me.

It reminds me of when I used to really enjoy being here. I hate it now but Chrollo seems content that I am beside him once more. Nobunaga stares at Chrollo before asking, “Didn’t we go there before? The Beitacle Hotel was one of the places where the Nostrade Family was staying.”

“Yeah, but when Shal checked the website, they had already checked out,” Machi murmurs.

Chrollo nods and replies, “They probably checked back into the same hotel under a different name. They are being cautious.”

The rest of the way is in silence beside the citizens and sounds of the city. We take a train and I am getting nervous as we get closer to the hotel. When we leave the train station Kortopi speaks up, “It is slowly descending.”

“An elevator?” I ask softly.

Chrollo’s face is void of emotion as he murmurs, “Are they checking out? We will apprehend him as a group. Stay close enough to provide assistance. Pakunoda, once we capture him, get the information on Uvo. After that, Nobunaga, they are all yours. Go!”

We all start running at an inhuman speed towards the hotel. My only motivation in doing this is the fortune he gave me. Stay close to the promise at night and it is night right now. I may find out what my light is tonight and more importantly, I have faith in Kurapika that he will not let us get him.

We are jumping on people’s umbrellas and running on the sides of buildings when Kortopi updates us. “Target moving forty kilometers per hour, toward 2 O’clock… Most likely they got in a car.”

It is already cold, but I get chills for a different reason as I feel a few gazes on us. My heart stops as there are only a handful of people who would follow the Spider and actually realize it is us. We are back running on the actual sidewalk now when the mood changes. Chrollo realized it.

“We are being followed,” He states.

The others are surprised since they did not sense the stalker as they were too focused on chasing the target. They think it could be the Chain User which is why he tries to split up the group evenly. “Nobunaga, Pakunoda, and Kortopi, go on ahead.”

They do and the rest of us stop in a second, turning around and using Gyo. I was half a second faster and caught the glimpse of dark green hair and long white hair? My heart is racing and I am seething on the inside.

“Did you catch them?” Chrollo asks.

Shizuku nods. “I caught their shadows.”

“I couldn’t see their faces, but one is in the alley. The other is behind the trash can,” Machi murmurs.

Chrollo nods. “Okay. Keep using Gyo.”

My biggest fear is about to happen again. Only this time Chrollo is meeting my son face-to-face. I hope for a miracle or something as we walk closer. My hope is crushed the second Gon jumps out with his hands up and says loudly, “I am sorry! I will stop following you, so will you forgive me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will finally see what Gon is thinking in the next chapter!


	17. Scarlet Eyes will Decide Your Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fadklfas so- Finding out Gon's true thoughts in this chapter- was a lie. But there is a heavy hint for it in the chapter. I had to cut the chapter in half so I instead left off with another cliffhanger lol.
> 
> Anyway- The next update won't be for a long while. I get super busy and drained during the holiday season so I am estimating beginning of the new year- Early January or Mid. Apologies for the long wait but I hope y'all understand!

Gon jumps out with his hands up and says loudly, “I’m sorry! I’ll stop following you, so will you forgive me?”

So many emotions flood through me as I try to think of the best way for him out of this situation. I can’t act rash but I cannot not act. Machi murmurs to herself, “Him, again?”

“This is the one Nobunaga mentioned?” Chrollo asked.

I observe Chrollo and see he is staring at Gon with no emotion on his face. I can’t tell what he is thinking and it is infuriating me. Machi nods and glances at the alleyway pointing out, “The other one is here too. Come on out.”

Killua comes out of the alleyway leaving me baffled. I do not know what the long white hair I saw was earlier. Killua makes eye contact with me before looking at Machi with distaste on his face.

“What do you want? The Mafia’s reward on our heads has been canceled… Have you returned for your mother?” Machi questions.

The moment I thought of putting the two behind me was the moment I felt deep danger directed towards me as Chrollo’s hand clasps around my wrist. He is staring at me waiting for an answer. I glare at him to challenge him but it falters when his dark intent is directed to my boys.

Gon does not say a word but Killua answers for him, “Gon hasn’t had a mother for twelve years. As far as he is concerned, he does not have a mom. We just came for the money, but I guess that is a bust since it was canceled.”

My heart falls until I think of his words. Gon would not just let that slide- He thinks of Mito as his mother so Killua’s words are not exactly true. There is no way Gon would just deny her existence. Though my face did fall from the hurt, my brain keeps on thinking… Did they come back for me? Really? I try to crush that thought fast but I guess my face shows that because Chrollo seems pleased with my sadness.

“Seize them,” He orders as he makes a call, “Phinks. Meet us back at the hotel.”

Once he hangs up and once Machi is done tying them with her nen ability she questions Chrollo, “Shouldn’t we just end them right here?”

I do not even get the chance to control my rage. I am out of Chrollo’s grip in a heartbeat and my knife is at her throat. She stares at me with blank eyes but I can detect her trying to control her breathing.

Chrollo hums and ignores my actions as he says, “No, I trust your hunch. If they are connected to the Chain User somehow, we should keep them alive.”

At his words I ease up and put my knife back where it belonged. I need to take a breather. If I piss them off, they may take it out on my children and with Chrollo here keeping me on short leash I will not be able to do anything.

“Can I ask you something?” Gon asks glaring at Chrollo.

I catch a glint in his eye but it passes just as fast as he goes on with his question, “How can you kill people who have nothing to do with you?”

Chrollo pulls me to his chest as he stares down at my boy. It takes a moment for him to answer but when he does it makes me shiver as he says, “You have a lot of hostility for someone who has just surrendered. Why? I wonder… It might be because they have nothing to do with us… No. On second thought, it is not that simple. I do not like to talk about my motives.”

I am terrified and intrigued at the same time. The question Gon asked, Chrollo is serious about in giving an answer but not a straight-forward answer. He stares up at the sky before back at me. He turns us around before he resumes, “But surprisingly enough… or rather, as I expected. The reason is the key to understanding myself… Ah, head for the hotel and wait for Phinks. If they try to escape, kill them.”

The way there is in almost silence. Chrollo got a call saying Paku found out the Chain User’s identity. After that the atmosphere got intense and I have to stop myself multiple times from twitching in Chrollo’s grip.

When we do get to the hotel, I am on edge even more as Chrollo switches to holding my wrist in an iron clad grip. It would terrify me, but I understand why he is doing it. He is simply being cautious since I have my boys here with me.

“We will wait here,” He announces to Machi and Shizuku and I.

We lean against the wall and I scan the area. Immediately, I notice a loud guy as he uses his voice in volume to bring attention to him. It is Leorio. That makes small hope in me begin to grow since he is here that means Kurapika will be here. There is no way he would let anyone harm Gon and Killua. I can help them get out of here.

“Do you realize what time it is?! Idiot! It’s the Beitacle Hotel! How many times do I have to repeat myself?! What the hell are you lot looking at, huh?!” Leorio questions us since he definitely gathered Chrollo’s attention.

Shizuku asks if she should get rid of him and Chrollo shakes his head. He orders us not to look at him and Leorio continues to make a scene with his loud phone call.

“You make my life totally miserable just because idiots like you work for me! Just once, I’ll close my eyes like nothing happened. One more mistake, and you’ll get it good! Listen carefully, you’d better get to the hotel by 7 o’clock sharp.”

My eyes glance around for a clock and realize that 7 will be in three minutes. He is obviously talking to my boys, so I need a way to help them. It will be difficult to do with Chrollo’s grip tight on me. Shizuku hums and points to the door. Nobunaga, Pakunoda, and Kortopi are here.

“Ah, what’s this? You got caught again? I get it… You changed your minds and decided to join us, right? That sure will make (Name) proud!” Nobunaga states with amusement.

I glare at him and Killua scoffs. “We didn’t know that the bounty on your heads was canceled.”

“So, you screwed up again while stalking us? Didn’t learn your lesson, huh? But this must be fate at work. Well, let us be friends! Your mom and I are already friends!” Nobunaga continues.

Killua and Gon share a disgusted look. Killua speaks for them. “No way! She is not my mother and is not Gon’s mother. We were only following you for the reward. I don’t even want to look at your faces.”

“Me too!” Gon states closes his eyes following Killua.

The sharp sting in my chest hurts but I ignore it. While their words may ring true, they are preparing for Leorio’s message. They were here for something and that small bit of hope that it was for me lingers. What I have noticed greatly is that- Gon refuses to speak directly to me when it comes to me. The most he has said when it concerns me is the ‘me too’.

That alone gives me hope since that means he may simply not bring himself to say something hateful to me- Or it is the complete opposite. He may be too disgusted with me.

Nobunaga laughs and looks towards Chrollo with excitement. “Well, Boss? What do you think? They sure got guts and their sass reminds me of Uvo!”

“That is probably because they are kids. They have no fear. Anyway, describe the chain user for us,” Machi says immediately opposing the idea of them joining in her own way.

Chrollo interrupts and makes us turn to Paku. “First things first, Paku. Check these kids again. Ask them what they are hiding.”

I almost flinch from that. He knows that something is up then. I glance at the clock again. Only a minute it left. I am quick to speak up.

“What is the point? They are kids, they have millions of pointless secrets, but didn’t you already ask the most important questions?” I ask.

Chrollo’s grip on me weakens for a moment before it becomes bruising. I wince as he coldly states, “Motherhood sure has changed you even if you are not really a mother. Wouldn’t you say a mother is active in her child’s life. You do not qualify as one and even if you desperately want to create that shattered bond with him, it is gone. If you remember, we are thorough in everything. Paku.”

Fucking ouch. He nods at her and she goes to touch them.

“What is the point? We aren’t hiding anything, and even if we did-“

I jump as soon as Paku grabs Killua’s face in a hold and lifts him up, silencing him. “I will know the truth soon enough. Shut up.”

Gon continues, “Even if we did know something, we could think about something else, and hide it from you!”

She does the same thing and I am barely containing myself from fighting Chrollo off me.

Paku is a bit angered from their naivety and explains, “You seem to be confused. I draw out the purest essence of human memory. I am not browsing through the surface thoughts that you create. My questions stimulate your memory, and they are brought up to the surface, the way a stone thrown into a pond stirs up sediment. They are the original, unprocessed memories… And I simply scoop them up. It is impossible to deceive me.”

I keep my eyes on the clock and notice that it is just a few seconds away from being 7. I close my eyes as Paku asks the questions. She lets out a surprised gasp from what she finds, and I open my eyes now being able to see in the dark. I scan my surroundings but am surprised to see a familiar face a few feet away.

It is Kurapika in a disguise of long white hair. His expression is pure rage upon seeing me with Chrollo, but it softens for a second. He is conflicted and he does not have the time to be. I react for him. I use the sudden darkness that delays Chrollo’s reaction time to everything to pull him into a hug since he will not let go of me and I nod at Kurapika. The sudden affection catches Chrollo by surprise and it buys Kurapika time to bring back his rage.

Realizing, that I am giving myself up as well, he ties Chrollo and I up with his nen chain and abducts us. Catching Gon and Killua no doubt pissed Kurapika off since they had a plan so he made a move no one would have really suspected and that would catch the Troupe off guard, taking out the leader.

-

You will cause harm to your true love leaving nothing but a shell.

Rejoin the calendar when they need you most, Sacrifices will be made to ensure the light

You will find Eternal Darkness if you stray from the light so be sure to stay with a promise in the night

Scarlet Eyes will decide your fate

-

My secret came out to Gon. I rejoined the Troupe. I stayed with Chrollo as we were captured. Now, I suppose Kurapika will decide my fate alongside Chrollo.


	18. Fortune Completed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrollo and Reader are abducted.
> 
> Kurapika is nice to Reader making Chrollo go: "Wait a dang minute- That is sus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is life so difficult- Oh to be y/n in any fic at this point ajdslkfa
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the long chapter Loves! Gon's emotions are revealed and Chrollo really do be possessive, huh?
> 
> (Reminder: I love reading your guys' comments but lately I have not been able to reply to most/all of them. I ADORE your comments and love reading them so thank you so much when you do comment!)

I would say I feel cold in this situation- Being dragged through the rain and pushed into a car alongside Chrollo. He gets the window- I get the middle seat and Kurapika sits next to me at the other window seat. Leorio is driving. A stranger sits in the front passenger’s seat. It feels like everything is moving too fast but the second the car is on the road and away from the hotel- I feel like I can relax.

The Nen chain he has is wrapped around Chrollo and I rather harshly. I can feel the need to avenge his clan through them- The hatred for the Spider is strong and I do not blame him.

If… He has to kill me too- If that would make him happy and feel like his clan did not die from the Troupe’s selfish desires, I will gladly give my life to him.

Leorio keeps glancing in the side mirrors and Kurapika finally speaks up. “It is okay. Several of the enemies were injured. They will not move until reinforcements arrive… What are you looking at?” Kurapika asks.

His voice as an edge to it as he directs the question to Chrollo. Chrollo is looking over me and hums.

“Nothing. I just did not expect the chain user to be a woman,” Chrollo states before glancing down at me.

I dislike how close we are but if we are really bound to die together- I think it would be rather fitting. It would be an atonement to all the lives I had taken when I did run with them. Chrollo and I dying together and if there is an afterlife- We would be there together. A possible hell for me and heaven for Chrollo.

“Did I say I was? You should not let appearances deceive you. Anyway, you should watch what you say. Since it may be the last thing out of your mouth,” Kurapika warns.

His hand is in the form of the fist, tightening the chains. I briefly wonder if I should interrupt. If I should awkwardly say hi- Or even apologize on the Troupe’s half? Though the latter just sounds like it would be adding salt to his wound.

Chrollo is looking straight ahead now- The stranger glancing back. She must be a friend of Kurapika’s and the boy’s since she looks a tad worried.

“You will not kill me. You left your precious friends behind and even abducted a stranger- Or do you guys know each other? I admit I was taken back when (Name) decided to hug me out of nowhere but now I realize it was to help you capture me- How did she know?” Chrollo asks his gaze returning to me and it feels like it burns my skin.

I do not have the will to answer- But thankfully Kurapika does. However, his words surprise me.

“I am not so composed that I will ignore your threats! (Name) has nothing to do with this either!” Kurapika shouts.

He is riled up- He has been holding in his anger for how long. Leorio quickly tries to calm him but Chrollo does what he does best- Gets under people’s skin.

“The fortune did not speak of this. Therefore, this event is not significant enough to matter. Do you need further explanation? I consider this situation the same as an afternoon coffee break. A peaceful outing,” Chrollo says.

His tone is changing to amusement. I sigh as I notice Kurapika is beginning to shake- The chain around Chrollo and I hurting us.

“Well- To you. My fortune said that the Chain User would decide my fate,” I murmur forcing the attention on me for a second.

Chrollo shakes his head. “It also said you would make it through if you stayed with me. You and the Chain User seem to know each other. You seemed to not know he was the Chain User until you saw him- Or maybe you were clueless. I would like to know,” Chrollo states.

Man, he needs to stop his burning gaze.

I do not answer him.

Instead, I talk to Kurapika. “I accept whatever you wish to do with us.”

Kurapika actually calms down because of this. He looks better now and says back, “(Name)- You will make it out of this unscathed. I admit when I found out you were apart of the Troupe, I got so angry. I thought you had tricked me until those two told me what you did for them. You saved them.”

What? My eyes feel misty as I process his words- It sounds like he is saying that they are not mad at me at all.

Leorio smiles in the driver’s seat- Sensing my confusion. He laughs as he asks, “Is their acting that good? Melody here kept saying how sorrowful your heart was- (Name), Gon and Killua were worried about you. They told us how beat up you were, how you had to resort to giving up your secret to protect them. They are in no way mad at you- Or well they are mad that you were hurt but they are not stupid. They can feel your love for them (Name). Ever since the Hunter’s Exam.”

“This isn’t a joke?” I ask nearly choking up.

Kurapika reassures me. “It is not a joke. Gon was just confused when you admitted it but- You can hear it from them when I get them back. Right now I need to focus on him.”

Leorio cheekily states, “Yeah- We’ll get them back because we are on equal footing.”

I wish that were true.

“You believe you are on equal footing because you have the head and heart of the Spider? You say she is not a part of this? You are sorely mistaken then- Or delusional. It is the kids who came then for her after all but I can promise you that she is not leaving my side ever. Not when we just got her back. The biggest mistake you made was you have made the wrong assumption. I have no value as a hostage. You people are the ones on the ropes,” Chrollo says calmly.

I hate how I can hear the truth in his voice. In every word he says. I have accepted dying by his side too.

The stranger, Melody, quickly says he is not lying either. “His heartbeat is not shaken at all by any of this. (Name)’s is but under different circumstances. They both have accepted death long ago. I can hear that they walk with death every day. He truly believes that he has no value as a hostage, but the fact remains that he is the leader.”

It remains silent for a while. Kurapika is thinking and Leorio keeps driving. Melody remains silent but I can tell she is listening intently to our heartbeats for any sudden changes.

After a while, Kurapika breaks the silence. “Five years ago, were you the leader when the Troupe slaughtered the Kura of the Scarlet Eyes?”

He is asking Chrollo- I try to squish myself to the back of my seat so I am not that much in their way. It is a bit awkward but even so- Chrollo really does just find this situation amusing. He thinks we are getting out of here, together.

Kurapika threatens him with the chains on his hands and Chrollo asks, “Are those the chains you used to kill Uvo? What were Uvo’s last words?”

“I do not remember.”

“You are lying- Isn’t he, Miss? I can relate. I feel the same way. _(Name)_ and I feel the same way. I have nothing to say to you,” Chrollo mumbles.

Ah- He is trying to see what aggravates Kurapika while pulling me into this. If we really do get out of here, he will remember what words I choose wisely. I am already in pretty deep shit since I know Kurapika personally other than the Chain User who killed Uvo.

Kurapika looks as if he really is going to explode. Until he sighs angrily and pulls out the phone he took from Chrollo. Going through it he calls one of the Troupe. They answer immediately- I can feel all their anger, from having their leader taken from under their noses, through the phone.

“I have three demands. The general rule is that you will do as I say. If you do not obey, I will kill your leader and his companion immediately. First, do not come after us. Second, do not harm the two hostages. Third, put Pakunoda on the phone,” Kurapika states.

Ah- He is keeping up the façade to the others. To make it seem like I got kidnapped too. I can hear one of them speak since I am sitting right next to Kurapika- It sounds like Phinks.

He says, “Can I ask you something first? The two hostages put up a struggle and we had to break a few bones.”

It is an obvious lie- The Troupe is not that stupid to act recklessly when their leader was just taken and Kurapika knows this. He knows Phinks is pulling his leg. Though to emphasize he is the one in control over this situation he says they are done negotiating before hanging up.

Not even a second later Phinks calls back and actually apologizes. “Sorry, I was lying. Both of them are unharmed.”

I wish I had the audacity to act that careless in a negotiation.

“This is your last chance. Do not mess around. Put Pakunoda on the phone now,” Kurapika demands.

I can hear Phinks getting hit before Paku is on the phone. Kurapika continues, “You are the only one allowed to hear what I say. Move away from the others. Did you make contact with a man named Squala?”

“Yes.”

“Are you aware of a woman named Melody?”

“I am.”

Kurapika nods to himself. “Then this will be quick. Listen carefully. You are forbidden from communicating with your comrades. No talking, gesturing, writing messages, signaling, or making eye contact. None of that is allowed. You must come alone to the place I designate. If your heart rate changes even in the slightest, I will kill the hostages. Understood? Now give the phone to someone besides the previous man who answered.”

She is swift to give the phone to Nobunaga.

Kurapika continues after hearing Nobunaga’s greeting. “I am going to meet with Pakunoda alone. The rest of you must return to your hideout. All ten Troupe members must be there. If a single one is missing, I will kill the hostages. Understood? Put Pakunoda back on.”

Hisoka is back at the hideout so that is how Kurapika will know. I am curious how long they have been talking for and planning for the fall of the Spider- Hisoka does not care about the others. He admitted he wanted to fight Chrollo and even me at some point.

When she is back on Kurapika orders, “Come to Lingon Airport. You have until 8:00. You must come alone.”

He hangs up and they are done. Or I thought so before he calls Phinks again demanding one of the boys be put on the phone.

“Are they all together?” Kurapika asks.

It is Killua who answers. “They are right now but they are talking about going after Pakunoda…”

The phone is moved and Phinks threatens Killua. Ah… I can’t wait to see the blonde kind of funny guy so I can scare him or possibly hit him for the bone-breaking joke he pulled earlier.

“You have thirty minutes to return to your hideout. You can try all the tricks you want, but your leader will die. I will call again shortly.”

He is done talking- He wants my babies back. I know Chrollo- I know him better than myself so I know what he is thinking. He is hoping that they all show up to blindside Kurapika. To show that emotions should not be involved when he is the one taken and that Kurapika’s weakness is his friends.

“Paku will listen,” I murmur.

Kurapika glances at me as does Chrollo.

I smile. “My loyalties may be split but I was once part of the Spider- Technically I still am. I know them Chrollo. You put too much faith in them, and I know you too. If anyone else were in trouble you would still, try to save them- Of course depending on the mission. They are like that too. A lot of them look up to you- You gave them a reason, a demented family, and for that, they will not all come. Paku will listen if she thinks it is best for you and the Spider.”

“And we took precautions,” Melody states.

I nod. “Even so- I gave myself up with Chrollo for my boys. If they are hurt… I told you Chrollo- Even if you think I am not a mother or deserve the title, I love those boys. I want them to thrive and live a life full of love compared to us. I will do anything for them even if I still love you and the Troupe. Gon will always come first. I can’t let his happiness ever die.”

Chrollo stares at me long and hard before he turns to look out the window.

~*~

Kurapika, Chrollo, Melody, and I are all in a blimp now. Melody is here, of course, to ensure that no one lies. I am still chained up to Chrollo since Kurapika actually likes me- He is doing me a service to make a show that I do not have split loyalties when I do. He is trying to help me since I still love those monsters but love my kids more.

I can fool myself all I want- Say I have nothing else to lose but now that I now through Kurapika and Leorio that I am not hated by Gon… I do have him to lose still then. I still have a chance and despite the hardships, he is going through himself- Kurapika is trying to put me in the least uncomfortable position.

I am to be his back up in case things go wrong but I am puzzled on how he will get me out of the chains since I am stuck with Chrollo in them. It almost exactly 8. The door to the blimp opens and Paku walks in, completely drenched, and with blood on her face from an earlier fight, it looks like.

“Are you Pakunoda, from the Troupe?” Kurapika questions.

She nods and Melody confirms it.

“I will present each of you with two conditions. If you abide by them, I will release your leader,” Kurapika states.

Paku narrows her eyes down at him. “What about (Name)?”

Kurapika replies without a hitch. “You all are aware she is the mother of Gon. You destroyed my family I do not think it is fair to destroy my friend’s family. She will be dealt with how Gon sees fit. I will begin with the conditions for the leader. First, I forbid all use of Nen. Second… I forbid all contact with other Troupe members from now on. Those are the two conditions and to make certain that you adhere to them, I will stab your leader with my Judgement Chain: Arbiter Little Finger. You decide if this is acceptable, Pakunoda.”

She stares at me and Chrollo for a long time. “It is okay.”

Like a total Boss, in my opinion, Kurapika thrusts the blade connected to his chain into Chrollo. The Nen disconnects from the chain and leaves Chrollo- I assume that means the blade stabbed Chrollo’s heart and has a hold of it. The chain returns to normal before another nen blade forms.

“You are next, Pakunoda. First, release Gon and Killua unharmed, before midnight, without any tricks. Second, you will not reveal anything about me. If you have no objections, I will stab you with the chain as well,” Kurapika says.

Paku nods and agrees to it.

As soon as Kurapika stabs her with the blade as well he asks Melody, “If Gon and Killua were being controlled by a Manipulator, could you tell from their heartbeats?”

“It is certainly possible. I have met Killua before, and I know how his normal heartbeat sounds so I can tell if anything has changed,” Melody responds.

Kurapika nods. “That’s good enough. I have something to say before the exchange… Start by returning to your companions. Inform them of the hostage exchange. I want you to bring the hostages to Lingon Airport before midnight. Bring no one else. Tell no one where you are going.”

She easily agrees and for some reason it nerves Kurapika. I do not blame him since the Troupe has ways to go around deals but- He is getting nervous as he questions why she has not asked about anything and if she truly trusts him.

My girl Paku responds, “Yes. I believe you will return our leader. You would not ask those questions if you intended to deceive me.”

~*~

“Let me help you out of the chains,” Melody offers.

I look at them confused and Kurapika nods. “You no longer need to be in them since the exchange is near. I do apologize I could not give the leader another condition though- If I could, I would have him not be able to be near you,” Kurapika whispers.

Chrollo scoffs at that but I appreciate the sentiment. It means that Chrollo really is not as slick as he thinks he is when it comes to his feelings for me.

“Thanks, Kurapika. You even forgiving me when I used to be a part of them means a lot to me. I owe you so much more than you think,” I murmur with shame.

Kurapika shakes his head as Melody is able to loosen the chains around me a smidge. I lower myself down to a kneeling position until I can slide out of the chains. Immediately, Kurapika is cautious and quick to tighten the chains on Chrollo.

“You do not owe me anything (Name). I feel awful for doubting you when I heard you used to run with them. Then Killua and Gon said that you left fourteen years ago. You wanted out- You got out. You were not with them when they did that horrible act to my clan. You are not at fault,” Kurapika reassures me.

I smile sadly at that before I start stretching. It feels nice to be out of the chains.

“Though- I am horrified that you love the leader of the Troupe,” Kurapika states.

He seems to be glaring or scolding me with that stare of his. I sigh. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for psychopaths. Jokes aside- There is no way to explain it.”

I feel like this is about to be a goodbye to Chrollo. I take my steps near him and he appears to be in denial already. I raise my hand to hold his cheek- The chains blocking our skin from fully meeting but he stills leans into my touch.

“Chrollo is my first love. He will always hold a special place in my heart. I hate to say it, but he shaped me into who I am today- The protective dark side that will do anything for you guys. He did that and I am grateful. I know my past will catch up to me again- The horrors of what we did together to ensure our survival. I am okay with that because I love him,” I say trying to explain.

Kurapika says nothing- Letting me have my moment. I pull away after Chrollo closes his eyes. He reopens them slowly to almost defy my next words.

“Chrollo I love you, but I do not like who I am with you. I do not like the self-destruction path you set me on. I admit I should have said goodbye instead of faking my death but- You are crazy. We are crazy. I moved on long ago, but you are always in my heart. You need to accept that I am a mom, and my baby needs me even if I may be in his life for a little bit,” I murmur.

There is no way I can tell him my goal in this life is to go find Ging and tell him I love him- The words I could not say back to him as I passed away. Chrollo does not care about those things. If there is one thing he is- It is a thief. He will steal me back.

There is also no point in telling him to let go of me. I am the first to ever make his heart beat fast. To keep a promise from when we were teenagers to not kiss anyone else. To him, I will always be his. Not the man who made me aware of the beauty life holds- Not the boy who is half of me and the other man. I will always be Chrollo's and the look in his eyes is a silent promise on that.

Melody informs us that she sees three figures in the distance headed for the plane. I step back to go look- Excitement starting to lift me up. I am excited because of Kurapika’s and Leorio’s reassurances that they do not hate me.

However- The large seeds of doubt in me are still screaming that Gon hates me. Though, it does not matter because I am starting to feel hope. I glance back at Chrollo and he looks neutral.

Chrollo is convinced that things are still going to head his way. I do not see it- Kurapika decided my fate and he has given me a second chance.

My fortune is complete.


End file.
